Hoax
by manusxmachina
Summary: Ichigo is a working student who struggles just to make ends meet. When his wealthy, estranged older brother walks back into his life unexpectedly, he brings with him Rukia Kuchiki - a mysterious woman who has more to do with Ichigo's past than he's willing to remember...
1. Encounter

Ichigo Kurosaki fancied himself a lone wolf.

He lived alone in a dingy apartment that was at least an hour-long commute from Karakura High because that shitty place was all he could afford with his mediocre, part-time salary. He walked and ate alone because every time Keigo tried to string himself along, it was just second for Ichigo to punch him in the face - an effective deterrent of friendship, albeit a little aggressive (just a little). He read his books alone because it was the only precious time he had away from the stressor that was his reality.

Was he lonely? Not particularly. Well, maybe at first. But he's been on the road of solitude since he was fifteen and he was now eighteen years angsty. So he supposed that three years of isolation was enough time for him to become accustomed to it. He even managed to delude himself into thinking that it was sort of romantic for him to be this way.

Too much Shakespeare, perhaps?

At least he was beginning to see his dreary life through poetically rose-colored lenses.

Because those misleading lenses were all he really had. He was all he really had; his mind, his body, his strength. He was the only person he could truly rely and he knew that fact all too well. Loneliness might be thought of as a weakness, but Ichigo thought that it gave him the space and opportunity to become stronger. If he could make his own decisions without hurting those around him anymore, then all was well.

He didn't care about himself. Heaven forbid that he ever give a fuck about himself. No, he wasn't really deserving of that. He was a firm believer in the _three strikes and you're out_ philosophy. As far as he was concerned, he already missed out on _two_ chances to prove that he was worth much of anything. He wasn't about to lay down his third.

What little worth he had left, he was clinging on to.

The bells signalled the end of class and Ichigo rushed out of his bustling high school. He had to be out the door as quickly as possible. After all, he was on a strict time crunch.

The bakery where he worked at as a cashier was right in between Karakura High and his home. It would take half an hour to get to work, and another half to get back to his place. He hated taking the metro train when the sun was down because all sorts of strange people were on it then. He decided that he might as try and do a good job today; sell all the goods and close up shop early. He knew that he didn't have a very approachable aura, but he was definitely going to attempt to soften the atmosphere around him for the sake of efficiency.

His cellphone was ringing.

 _Ping!_

 **Hi, Kurosaki-kun! I'm just confirming that you're working your shift today?**

Ichigo frowned. His boss was always double checking his work attendance.

 _Ping!_

 **I mean, because you already had a shift yesterday!**

 _Ping! Ping!_

 **Haha!**

 **I'm just checking!**

He shut his eyes and pinched his nose with his free hand. The other lazily typed in a _yeah_ before shoving his phone into his back pocket.

Orihime Inoue could be so overbearing. Sometimes, that trait of hers annoyed him, but he also tried to remember that she was just concerned about his wellbeing. It wasn't really appropriate for him to be unappreciated of her unease, seeing as it was his fault. He made her worry. He shouldn't.

Some days, she'd sit him down after the bakery closed and make him some tea. She'd even let him use the shower at the back because she was smart enough to suspect that his dismal apartment rarely offered hot water. Many evenings were spent freezing under an icy torrent. Thanks to Orihime, Ichigo could look forward to showering and he felt important to somebody.

It was a guilty pleasure of his, being recognized as another sentient being by someone.

Last week, he caught up to a purse snatcher and effectively disengaged him. When he returned the stolen goods to the victimized elderly lady, she gave him a soft pat on the back that was nostalgic of his mother's touch. The month before that incident, a young boy stupidly thought that it would be hilarious if he walked the tight rope that was the ledge of his balcony. He toppled over, and the onlookers screamed their premature grievances. Luckily, Ichigo caught him in his arms in the nick of time. The police station sent him a letter of appreciation, and that speck of glory was a badge of honour as a perpetual grin on his face the entirety of that day.

He felt like he was doing something right. He wanted to do right by the right people. He wanted the electricity of moral ascendancy.

He wanted to be a hero.

To hopefully make up for his impotence.

 _Ping!_

Fuck, she was annoying.

 _Ping!_

He checked his cellphone again. Its home screen flashed the name of a regular - but not unwelcome - caller. Taking this call was routinely for him. He breathed a sigh of relief that his boss wasn't becoming comfortable enough to call him. That poor woman. He really shouldn't make her worry so much.

'Hey.' Ichigo spoke into the receiver. 'Is everything alright?'

'Of course it is, Onii-chan!' Yuzu Kurosaki, Ichigo's youngest sister, happily replied. 'How was school?!'

It was hard to deny that Yuzu looked up to her older brother, often to a fault. Subconsciously, she conjured a picture in her head of him that was perfect, faultless. Ichigo wasn't ignorant to the expectations she unknowingly placed on him, so although he loved her very much, it was often exhausting to speak to her. Nevertheless, he entertained all her calls - which was once a day after he had finished his classes. He couldn't blame her for missing him since he was the one who made the decision to move away from the nuclear Kurosaki household. He was the one who tore their family apart, so he might as well do what he can to make sure that his sisters still felt loved by him.

'It was good.' he continued. 'Same as always.'

'So, same as always, are you not going to visit...?'

'I'm sorry.'

'Onii-chan, you never want to visit...'

'I'm sorry.' he apologized again. What else could he do? 'I really can't make it today. I have work and it's not a good idea to skip. Especially since my boss has been really good to me.'

'But, Onii-chan!' Yuzu's shrill tone did a poor job of concealing her disappointment. 'I told Onii-san that you'd definitely be coming!'

 _Onii-san._

Ichigo rolled his eyes. 'Shiro's around?'

Shiro: Ichigo's wealthy, estranged, morally questionable older brother. At only twenty-two years old, Shiro had already done well for himself as an angel investor. In layman's terms, he made his living funding startup companies who would then give him higher returns on his investments without him having to divide his earnings amongst others involved.

How he became rich enough to qualify as an investor in the first place was a mystery to Ichigo.

Consequently, Ichigo could never be too comfortable with his older sibling. Shiro never got involved with anyone unless he wanted something from them. Not once did he show interest in supporting his own family. Ichigo was the only one sending money to their younger sisters. Most days, the Kurosaki girls often forgot that they had their eldest brother. The only person Shiro visited was Ichigo. Even then, those occasions occurred sporadically and Shiro just wanted to taunt his younger counterpart. So why would Shiro want to reconnect now as a family now, after not having visited for six years?

His sudden arrival was concerning to Ichigo.

'Why is that guy there?' Ichigo demanded. He couldn't hide his frustration. Yuzu brushed it aside, attributing the tension between her two brothers as inherent masculine competitiveness.

'He's not here yet! But he's coming. He called earlier to say that he would.'

'Why?'

'He said he's got a girlfriend!'

'Oh.' Ichigo deadpanned. 'Which one?'

'Onii-chan... Don't say things like that. He's bringing her here, you know. He wants us to meet her. I think he really likes her.'

'I'm kidding.' he half-joked. It was a fact that Shiro was a womanizer. The few times that he forcibly visited Ichigo at school or work, a woman would always be attached to him by the hip - just never the same one. Ichigo was naive, but he wasn't stupid. He could read between the lines. The realization that his brother was a philandering fuck made Ichigo even more wary of him. So, to think that Shiro had finally acquired a "girlfriend" to whom he was committed enough to introduce to his family was a shocker. 'Seriously though?'

'Yes! He's-'

Ichigo didn't hear the rest of the sentence.

His phone went flying into the air, and his body collided with a large vehicle.

 _Shit,_ he thought miserably, _Now I'm gonna be late for work._

* * *

Rukia Kuchiki was a colourful woman.

She was 144 centimetres tall of spunk and attitude. Her strong personality wasn't so easily showcased to anyone who dare speak to her - no, she was a _calculating_ person, despite her tendency to raise her voice whenever one of her employees screwed up in the office. Rukia knew that as a member of the Kuchiki household, she was expected to be cordial at all times (unless she was at work because that would just be impossible). Especially considering that she was a Kuchiki by association and not blood, the expectations set on her were much higher. The Kuchiki elders watched her constantly with hawk-eyes, ready to pick at any missteps she wasn't foolish enough to take.

Despite her wall of steel, she was actually a very nice girl.

She was so sweet. Just the sweetest. Her heart was made of gold, although there was a speck of darkness in there that was nurtured by her insecurities. Yet she never lets that get in the way of her compassion, which she endlessly extends to anyone who needs it. Perhaps that was why she lacked focus with herself. Well, she did do well with her career and she had just gotten engaged to a financially promising man (she was actually on her way to meet his family). But she was missing something, a purpose (?) that gave her life more meaning.

Or at least, meaning in the _right_ direction.

As of now, Rukia was consumed by only one goal in mind - an ambition that had been haunting her for three years now. If she didn't get to the bottom of it, she would go mad. And she was getting so close too; she was hot on his trail, she could practically feel his presence buzzing just a few feet away from her. That was probably just her imagination, but if it motivated her, she allowed the delusion to play itself in her mind.

He couldn't hide for long.

 _Ping!_

'Shit.' she cursed under her breath. Without taking her eyes off the road, one hand left the wheel of her black van to palm the empty seat next to her. Where was her bloody phone? Where the fuck did she leave it?

 _Ping! Ping!_

'Shit!' she repeated, louder. Her fingertips finally brushed against the cool metal, but she only managed to push it further so that it fell from the seat onto the ground. She grunted and put both hands on the wheel. Might as well focus on driving.

 _Ping!_

Her cheeks were reddening furiously. How annoying! That ringtone was so obnoxious! She'd change it as soon as possible.

 _Ping! Ping!_

The blasted thing kept ringing until it went to voicemail.

'Damn, Queen!' Shiro Kurosaki's voice chuckled in the patronizing way he usually does. _Fuck you!_ she screams at him triumphantly and she's actually glad that he can't hear her. Maybe it _was_ a good thing her phone went to voicemail. 'How long are you gonna make me wait? My sisters are so excited to see you. Told them you're a babe. So don't disappoint. Wear those bitchy heels that I like-'

 _End of message._

Thank goodness he was cut off by her lack of storage space. Any more of that nonsense and she'd have to pull over to get herself some water so that she'd calm down. (That was another thing about Rukia - she hardly drank anything other than her sugar-doused coffee throughout the day. How she still managed to sleep was a mystery.)

That sexist dick! How dare he talk to her like that!

She growled under her breath. Perhaps it was because she was so angry at her fiancé and nervous to meet his family, but her foot stepped on the accelerator just a _little_ harder. She didn't think much of it. After all, she was already late. She could afford to speed up.

That it, until a high-schooler in uniform collides with her car and she's forced into a screeching halt.

 _Shit._

'Oh, no.' Rukia mumbles to herself and steps out of her car. She gracefully walks on the pavement with those _bitchy heels_ that Shiro likes so much, her tailored suit jacket and skirt cutting angles of her body that emphasize that she does not belong in this vicinity. She's a _professional_ \- a professional who just hit a kid, but a professional nonetheless.

'Ichigo!' Keigo Asano screams in the background.

 _Ichigo?_

Rukia's heartbeat quickens.

It's not because of her caffeine addiction.

Fellow students are forming a scandalous circle around the incident. Most of them were chatting about whether or not to call an ambulance or the school principal. The ridiculousness of it all almost prompted Rukia to roll her eyes. Thankfully, one smart brain in the crowd (a burly foreigner called Chad) dialled the emergency hotline so that Ichigo could get the help that he needed.

 _Ichigo._

She had to see for herself.

She tiptoed around her car to see a tall, lean _man_ \- not boy - get on his fours. He shook his head and attempted to stand up, only to slightly tumble forwards. Onlookers gasped, so he tried to stand up again to not worry them. This time, he succeeded although Rukia observed that his legs were wobbly. He dusted his uniform with his hands before glaring at her with harsh, amber eyes that were made all the more intense framed by his strikingly orange hair.

 _Ichigo Kurosaki._

This was him.

Rukia bit back a victorious smile.

 _I finally found you._

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you for reading the first chapter of this story!

I'm really excited to finally share this with you. I hope that you enjoyed the first chapter and will join me throughout this new story!


	2. Smokescreen

Ichigo was nauseous as hell.

He had just been hit by a van, and now an uncomfortably large crowd of people was circling the scene like a constellation of hungry bees. The chattering and needless screaming was just sending him into his own anxiety. Amidst the gossiping students, he managed to hear Chad's unmistakably deep voice call an ambulance over.

 _Fuck._

Ok. It was now only going to be a matter of time before this whole scene blew out of proportion. He had to just get this situation under control. Just... He just had to convince everyone that he was alright, that there was nothing to worry about. He got on his fours and began standing up. That's right, just put one foot in front of the other-

He stumbles forward but manages to regain his footing.

Ok. That wasn't the smoothest attempt, but his second try would be much better.

Finally feeling both feet stable on the ground, he felt confident enough to glower at the dumb ass driver responsible for this accident. He was half-expecting to see a sleepy, middle-aged, grumpy man who had dozed off at the wheel or perhaps even one of those thugs at the other high school that hated his orange hair - but no, the sight that greeted Ichigo was one that he had only read about in books.

Specifically, those thriller, mystery-type of books.

Rukia Kuchiki stood before him on her tip toes, heels supported by the thinnest stilettos he had ever seen. Her ankles were so slim that it almost looked like she would break if she tried walking. Ambers glide up her stockinged legs, disappointed by the modest knee-length skirt (although there were devious slits on the side that revealed thigh highs) and suit jacket, before finally settling on glimmering blue eyes that reminded him of the ocean under moonlight. Her gothic allure is amplified by pale skin that shone with a slight sheen of luminosity, her heart-shaped face framed by midnight hair that he swore was made of strands of black sky.

'Watch where you're going.' he managed in a hoarse whisper, although he had meant to yell at his attacker.

It was a little difficult to do so when she was so nice to look at.

He berated himself mentally. The fuck? What was wrong with him? He blamed it on his hormones. Damn his youth. He couldn't wait to grow up into an adult already so that his raging pheromones could finally calm the fuck down.

Besides, there was nothing special about this girl. She was pretty, and he was a single, young man who had no partner for his sexual frustrations. It was only natural that he be struck by a beautiful woman. Even his boss at the ABC bakery sometimes excited him, but he was never actually going to act on those feelings. Older women - that was a cliche.

And if the novels he read were accurate (which they should be because fiction is really just made up of fragmented realities) then older women were to be avoided at all costs.

Especially ones that wore sheer, black thigh-highs.

 _Damn,_ he thought with a hard swallow. _Was that sliver of skin really necessary? You'd be more merciful if you just wore regular stockings..._

'I'm so sorry.' Rukia sighed. She began walking over to him and he stiffened. Was she coming closer?

'U-Um-'

'Really, my apologies.' she smiled. 'Are you hurt?'

'No, but-'

'Then allow me to start on the right foot with you!' she extended her hand out and he looked at it quizzically. 'I'm Rukia. And you are?'

'Listen, lady-' a vein popped in her forehead. 'No need for the formalities. Just watch where you're going next time, OK? You could've really hurt somebody.'

'I could've, huh? I could've hurt you.'

'I guess.'

'But I'm glad I didn't.'

 _God._

How did she _do_ that?

His heartbeat was quickening.

Her large eyes were glossy with innocence, and he wondered if she was younger than her attire was letting on. It almost felt like he was speaking to just another student who happened to be playing dress up.

Maybe it was because she was so short? Yeah, that was it.

'Anyway.' Ichigo's tone was stern. He needed to regain control of the situation. 'I'll be on my way-'

'Ichigo!' Chad called from the crowd. 'I called an ambulance!'

'The hell?!' the orange-haired working student was appalled. 'Cancel on them! I don't have time for that stuff!'

'Oh?' Rukia tried to hide her disappointment. 'Are you going somewhere?'

'Yeah, work!'

'You work?'

'Lady, are you deaf?!'

Rukia decided that Ichigo had a very punch-able personality.

She forced a tense smile before clearing her throat, 'I have an idea. Let me make this up to you. If you get in my car, I can take you to work-'

'Get in your car, seriously? You nearly ran me over!'

'This is to make up for that.' she was eerily calm.

Ichigo was skeptical. He raised an eyebrow and gave this stranger a once-over. Her facial expression was interesting. Her features seemed to made of ice, settling softly, frozen in place in a perfect poker face.

 _She must win a lot,_ Ichigo assumes.

Blaring red lights were going off in Ichigo's mind. This was a classic situation adults warned children about: never get into a car with a stranger who offers you anything nice. In literature geared towards young adults, women who suddenly appeared in men's lives were often villainous or at the very least were up to no good. Ichigo had no idea who this woman was, and he probably shouldn't want to get to know her.

Except he does.

He wants to know more about the unknown. And this woman, cloaked in black with piercingly jewel-toned eyes was unlike anyone he had ever seen before.

Except there was this magnetic pull about her that ignited something familiar yet forgotten within him. He felt like he knew this woman, but when she said that her name was Rukia, it didn't ring a bell.

Nevertheless, this woman made him feel things that he hadn't felt before. Or things that he kept under lock and key. Bad things that reminded him of sad times.

'Get into my car.' she offers again with that syrupy voice that he imagines lures countless men into bed. 'Tell me where you want to go and I'll take you.'

* * *

'How's Ichigo?'

Kisuke Urahara winces. 'Well, about that... See, I'd know if he let me visit more often.'

Isshin Kurosaki sighed heavily. From the other side of the visitation window, he was seriously tempted to bang the phone down. But if he did that, then a prison guard would come over and take him away. Then his already skinny visitation hours would be cut into nothingness. 'Urahara-san, you really should see how Ichigo's doing. I'm worried about him, you know.'

'Heh...' Kisuke covered his smirk with a fan. 'And here I was, starting to think that you were a bad father...'

'You've gotta be joking. It's like you don't know why I'm in here. I sacrifice myself just to have idiots like you tell me I'm a bad dad?'

'One could argue that if you were out here, you'd be able to actually take care of your daughters instead of having to rely on part-time babysitters like me.'

'Oh, and let my only son go to prison? You're out of your mind. I'd never, I couldn't... Ichigo couldn't survive in here. He's too soft, too sensitive.'

'You underestimate him.'

'Don't you remember how he was during the trial?'

'He was like, what? Fifteen! Any fifteen year-old would be scared shitless.'

'Except.' Isshin raised a finger. 'He wasn't really scared. No, being scared means feeling something. Ichigo was just... numb.'

* * *

 _Fuck, what have I gotten myself into?_

Ichigo was seated on the passenger seat of Rukia's van. She played no music, but she was humming an incoherent tune as she drove with snake-like precision. Sharp turns were smooth, and she was extra mindful not to run any red lights. Ichigo almost wondered if she had hit him on purpose (obviously she hadn't) but decided instead that she was probably just trying to reassure him that she wasn't a crazy driver.

Though Ichigo's chin was pointed straight ahead, his curious eyes stole glances at her. Her skirt had hiked up to reveal just a little so that he caught the beginning curve of her hips. Her jasmine perfume was all over the car's new leather - she couldn't have bought this longer than two years ago in the past. It was a sweet, sophisticated scent that scent that was strong enough to make him wonder what she's hiding.

He decides that she probably smokes.

It suits her.

He thought it was a disgusting habit.

'So, Ichigo-'

 _Shit._

She realizes her mistake.

'Eh?' he shoots her a deadly glare that oozes with suspicion. His eyes narrow and his lips pull back in a snarl. It sends a shiver down Rukia's spine, but not of fear - if he was going to challenge her, then she'd meet that spunk of his with her own attitude. As if anyone was going to get away with such a pitiful display of pseudo-threatening behaviour against her. 'How did you know my name?'

'I heard someone call out your name in the crowd.' she gave herself a mental high-five for thinking fast. 'It was that big guy. Umm... Chad, was it?'

'Oh.' he relaxed back into his seat. 'You have good ears. And a good memory.'

'I do.' she boasts. 'I make a good businesswoman.'

'You're a businesswoman?'

'I am.'

'What kind of business are you into?'

'That's not fair.' she gives him a second-long stare and he swears he'll never get tired of her eyes. 'You asked me a question, and I answered. So now, I get to ask you one as well.'

 _What a weirdo,_ he thinks to himself though he's secretly excited by the prospect of her being interested in him.

'Well?' she presses with a bite of her lip. His abdomen tightens. She knows exactly what she's doing, the bitch. 'Can I ask you a question?'

'Sure.'

'Are you always rude? Or did it just really piss you off that I ran you over?'

He scoffs. 'Seriously? I'm not rude-'

'Just a little rough around the edges?' she laughs. 'Are you such a romantic that you think of yourself in such detail? You're rude, boy. Rude, rude, rude.'

'Well, I guess you answered your own fucking question.' he snapped.

'Oh my gosh! And that mouth! Do you always have such a mouth on you-'

'Hey. Your question was answered, so I get to ask the next one.'

'But you didn't answer my question!'

'Because you answered it yourself. Not my problem. I still get to ask you another one.'

She clicked her tongue.

'So...' he continued. His heartbeat was thundering loudly in his chest. He wondered if she could hear it for herself. 'Do you always dress like this, or is there someone special you're supposed to see today?'

Her mouth contorts into a shocked _O_ before she laughs heartily. 'What?! What makes you ask that question? I just got out of the office!'

'You wear thigh highs to the office?'

'Yes.' she glares at him disbelievingly. 'I like them. That's why I wear them. Do I have to wear them for someone? Why can't I just like wearing them?'

He winces. 'Sorry. I just-'

'What's wrong with you?' she steamrolls through his excuses. 'Haven't you ever seen thigh highs on a woman before? I bet you make your girlfriend wear them all the time, you pervert! Geez, what kids are into these days... Don't pretend like you're so innocent-' she looks at him and the faint blush on his cheeks indicates that she's wrong. So, so wrong. 'Wait.' she suppresses a smile. 'You've never...?'

'Forget it!' he faces away from her and crosses his arms over his chest. He's furious and she thinks it's adorable. 'Just drop it.'

'No.' she can't hide the amusement in her tone. 'You've never been with a woman?'

He's silent for a while before admitting, 'No.'

'Have you ever kissed a girl?'

'No.'

'Oh. Do you want to kiss _me_?'

He chokes on nothing, but can't deny the thrill he feels at that proposition. He doesn't say anything, but she takes his silence as an inaudible confession that he _likes_ her. She knows he likes her, he's meant to.

'Here we are.' she pulls up in front of the ABC bakery a good twenty minutes before Ichigo's shift is meant to start. 'I know this doesn't make up for earlier, but I hope you hate me less now.'

'I don't hate you.'

'Don't you? I'd hate someone who ran me over.'

'No.' he unbuckles his seatbelt. 'I don't hate you.'

'Well, then... About my question earlier...'

His heart threatens to punch through his chest.

'Do you want to kiss me, Ichigo?'

 _Yes._

'You're out of your mind.' he shakes his head and opens the car door. He looks back at her and she greets his gaze with a pretty smile. He has twenty minutes to spare, right? And when would he ever see this woman again? This didn't matter, right? This chance encounter could hardly be called destiny, but he'd like to think of it as such.

'Goodbye, Ichigo.'

He decides that he doesn't want to leave her like this.

He slides back into the vehicle, slamming the door shut behind him. He leans over to her, cups her face with one hand, and crashes his lips onto hers. His groin tightens uncomfortably when their tongues meet, and he makes a mental note that she tastes sweet. She smiles into the kiss and he knows that she's probably smugly realizing that she's won.

She wins a lot, he knows.

He's pretty sure that he sucks at this, but she makes him feel like he's the best she's ever had. She's moaning, mewling, and sometimes the broken syllables of his name escape swollen lips. He reaches down to unbuckle her seatbelt before pulling over to his side so that she was sitting on his lap. An arm snakes around her waist as his free hand grabs onto _those fucking thigh highs_ and pulls one of them down to graze smooth skin.

'Ichigo...'

She's going to kill him.

He pulls himself away from her only to whisper nasty, dirty things into her ear. He doesn't realize that he's capable of talking like this, but he chooses to abandon his morals. _Do you taste as good between your legs as you do past your lips?_ She shivers at that, but he doesn't stop. He tells her exactly what he thinks of her, from her enchanting eyes to her thin ankles.

His phone goes off. With a frustrated grunt, he checks it.

Orihime Inoue is calling. He's late for his shift.

'Bye.' he gives Rukia a quick peck before opening the door again. As if she were unshaken by what had just transpired, she cooly smoothed her hair out and crawled over to the driver's seat. 'Bye, Rukia.' he says before shutting the door on his way out.

 _Fuck, what was that?_

Ichigo proves to himself that fiction is just fragmented reality.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story! I'm happy to enjoy your support once again. I have a lot of things planned for this, and I'm really excited to share them with you.

Thank you to **FlynnChan, jobananasan, RukiYuki, Ichiruki 4vr, Kevvy Talks, FunnyEasyMe, shirayukideathberry, NieveDrop, MugetsuIchigo,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **jobananasan** , all will be revealed in time! Orihime and Rukia are both meant to be perceived as older. As for whether or not they actually are will be important later.

 **Kevvy Talks,** and I'm so happy whenever I see you leave a comment! Thanks so much, hope you'll enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing this!

 **shirayukideathberry,** this will be nothing like **Enchantress**!

 **NieveDrop,** I am getting some elements from the Byronic hero lol! Yes, she's meant to be perceived as older and I will be highlighting that in later chapters.


	3. Quiet Traitors

'Kurosaki-kun!' Orihime Inoue, Ichigo's boss at the ABC bakery, greeted her employee with a cheerful smile as he entered his workplace/her business. She made her way over from behind the cashier to him, glimmering, warm eyes having a relaxing effect on him. She had a nice aura - it was infectious.

For all her quirks, she was actually a really nice person.

Certainly one of the best people he knew.

Orihime Inoue was the owner of the ABC bakery. She was twenty-one years old, which meant that she was three years Ichigo's senior. When he was a freshman at Karakura High, she was actually a part of the graduating class for that year. However, due to financial constraints, she didn't manage to make into the second half of that academic session. She was notorious for her beauty and her likeable personality. Men loved her, women envied her, but everyone acknowledged her good nature. Hence, when she dropped out, the entirety of the student body mourned the loss of her wonderful spirit on campus.

Orihime was one of those people that others wished would be fortunate in life, so Ichigo was relieved to find out when he was applying for jobs around town that she had opened up her own store. To his surprise, she knew who he was! When he entered the bakery to drop his resumé off, she had yelled _Kurosaki-kun!_ and gave him a job on the spot.

He was really lucky to have bumped into her. With his orange hair and permanently knit brows, it was hard for him to find employment. He supposed that if he dyed his hair, he would be more pleasant to look at, but Ichigo really didn't like the idea of changing himself for anybody.

More than her unquestioned acceptance of his appearance, Orihime was incredibly helpful insofar as she gave him ridiculous bonuses for absolutely no reason.

Well, no. There was a reason.

Since Ichigo was a working student, it was hard for him to juggle academia and his job. There were only so many hours in a day, and he lost quite a bit of time just commuting. Plus, he needed time to study - how? Impossible. But Ichigo always tried to make the impossible, possible.

And Orihime would assist him in any way possible.

If he came into work with a sunken face or particularly dark bags under his eyes, she'd hand him an envelope with a decent amount of cash after he clocked out for the day.

 _'I can't take this.' he had said after the first time she handed him the money. 'This is... I didn't work for this.'_

 _'Don't worry about it!' she beamed at him. 'Even though you won't tell me, I know that things are rough for you. So let me help you. I... I really just want to help you, Kurosaki-kun. It makes me really sad to see you hurting.'_

 _'I'm not hurting.'_

'It's really not like you to be late, Kurosaki-kun! I was getting worried, so I called you. I hope that I wasn't bothering you...'

'No, of course not. Thanks for checking up on me. I really appreciate that.'

'A-Ah, really?' she blushed madly, though he failed to notice how flustered she was getting in his presence. He just thought she was a nervous person. It was quite cute, actually. But whatever fantasies he had about this woman, he pushed away a long time ago. She was way out of his league, and not a day went by wherein he wasn't reminded of that. 'That's... I'm relieved! I thought you'd think I was annoying...'

'Nah. You're really caring, Inoue. I like that about you.'

The rest of the day was uneventful in comparison to his chance encounter with the mystery woman who he only knew by the name of Rukia. He tended to customers, rang up the usual orders, and stored the leftovers safely away for consumption the next day. He bid Orihime goodbye, and she told him to enjoy the rest of the night.

When Ichigo lay in bed that evening, he found himself recounting the day's events with a detached wonder.

Which was rare.

Usually, he'd be up, staring at the ceiling recounting the night when his life completely fell apart.

When he made the worst possible decision.

But anyway.

That woman: Rukia.

He couldn't get her out of his mind. It was almost painful, the way thoughts of her circled his brain until he was pretty sure he could paint a perfect picture of her given a blank canvas and a gothic palette of colours. He kept jogging his memory, recalling bits and pieces of their encounter that he wished he had given more attention to. He almost resented himself for not just calling in sick and continuing his rendezvous with that beautiful stranger.

Who knew that his first kiss would be with an older woman who wore thigh highs?

He remembered carding his fingers through her hair, silky strands weightless between the webbing of his hands. Or how he'd wrap her in his arms and press their bodies together with an alarming force; but she wasn't as delicate as she looked - she could take it.

He shivered.

'Fuck...' he groaned as he rubbed his face with his hands.

There was no way he could fall asleep with a raging hard on.

 _I'm the worst,_ he thought to himself before getting up and heading for the shower. His intention was to get his body to obey him to just calm down. Having developed his latter teenage years in solitude, he was confident in his ability to troubleshoot hormonal spikes like this. Once he undressed, he stepped into the shower and placed his hand on the handle in front of him. He was about to power it onto the coldest setting, but a sliver of mischief crossed his mind. So he stayed there, frozen in place, naked in a shower without any running water.

Dirty in more ways than one.

The memory of smooth skin beneath his fingers excited him.

A sharp inhale, then his fingers wrap around his member.

 **. . .**

'Who's that?'

'Hmm?' Shiro tore his eyes away from his cellphone's wallpaper: a picture of a stoic Rukia Kuchiki clad the usual angular, black suit that all members of her noble family weren't to be caught dead without. He looked at his lover for the evening, Rangiku Matsumoto. She was one of the lawyers who had worked on his brother's case three years ago. Today, she was Shiro's mistress.

How time changes all.

'Is she your wife?' she half-joked.

'My fiancé.' he corrected. 'But not for long, I don't think.'

'I agree.' Rangiku pursed her lips. 'She's not very pretty. You can do _so_ much better.'

'You're such a bitch sometimes.'

'That's why you love me.' she grinned.

Shiro waved her off. He didn't want to deal with her right now. His attention was brought back to his phone, where he could gaze upon Rukia's image without the actual Rukia around to chastise him for staring at her for far too long. When he first met her, he hadn't expected that he'd grow to be as fond of her as he was. In fact, at first, he didn't think much of her. Just another prissy little princess who was going to inherit a family fortune without having to work a day in her life.

Boy, was he wrong.

He did his research on her. Apparently, she was orphaned as a baby alongside her older sister named Hisana who raised her in place of a mother. The pair struggled living in the streets of the Rukongai: the slums on the outskirts of Karakura Town. Since Hisana was deathly ill, it was Rukia who had taken on financial responsibility at the age of eight. As a child, Rukia stole food and water from unsuspecting vendors at the marketplace. Otherwise, she'd offer manual labour for a cheap cost either by unloading delivery trucks in the city or construction for small households in the Rukongai. One thing Rukia never did, however, was beg for change.

Somewhere along the timeline of her life, Byakuya met Hisana.

It was love at first. The aristocrat married Hisana after only a month of getting to know her and Rukia was consequentially adopted in the Kuchiki clan as Byakuya's sister-in-law. Unfortunately, after a year of being happily married, Hisana's illness reared its ugly head and finally took her life. Her passing on left those who she left behind absolutely devastated.

Byakuya stopped smiling.

Rukia's heart froze over. That is, until she met Kaien Shiba.

Rukia was only eleven when Kaien walked into her life. He was from a lesser-known noble family, but within the branch of aristocracy nonetheless. Byakuya hired him as a tutor since Rukia was having trouble transitioning into formal education without any prior history with it. Once Hisana died, Byakuya had turned Rukia into his personal project. He wanted her to be the daughter he never had with his late wife.

At first, Rukia detested the expectations placed on her. Yet, she was forever grateful that in a twisted way, those same unrealistic standards of her personhood were what lead her to Kaien.

Kaien Shiba was Ichigo and Shiro Kurosaki's cousin.

Shiro didn't know him very well, but from what he could recall, Kaien was pretty much the man Ichigo wanted to be. Kaien was the head of all police forces in Karakura Town with connections to the more elite government of Japan. He had a loving wife, but no children. Those who knew him admired him very much. Even his own men looked to him not only as a leader, but as an ideal that they should strive towards becoming. He was a busy, busy man - he only agreed to tutor Rukia on the side as a favour to Byakuya, and because Rukia's history struck a chord in him.

Kaien and Rukia had become close. Had it not been for Miyako, Rukia may have acted upon some romantic feelings towards Kaien that were budding inside of her.

The year Rukia turned fifteen, she lost Kaien.

He was killed.

Shiro shut his eyes. He didn't want to recall that part of his life any further.

But that was the reason he sought Rukia out in the first place; he had gotten word that someone - a woman - was trying to dig up old information on the old case of Kaien's murder. Despite Shiro's morally questionable nature, he did everything in his power to protect Ichigo. If the details of Kaien's case somehow resurfaced and Ichigo found out about it, the orange-haired idiot would just be hurt all over again.

As if he hadn't already retreated so far into himself that his head was going to come out of his ass.

Shiro eventually found out that the person trying to revive Kaien's history was Rukia Kuchiki.

Why? What was the point? For what purpose? Shiro didn't know the answers, but he wanted so desperately to find out. So he befriended her, took her out on fancy dinners, studied her mannerisms, and tried to pry into her tightly sealed heart. Unfortunately for Shiro, Rukia was a Kuchiki and was thus a master at concealing her emotions. He never did find out what her intentions towards Kaien's closed case were. Instead, he was seduced by her strong character and the mysterious flutter of her lashes.

Nah, it was cool. He'd be fine.

Asking her to be his girlfriend only meant that he could keep her closer and whatever it is that she was trying to do, she'd have a harder time accomplishing. It wasn't like he was genuinely interested in her, or that he wished she wasn't so sketchy so that he wouldn't have to second guess the nature of their supposedly intimate relationship every once in a while.

Oh, the lies he told himself.

She never even got to meet his family.

She claimed that she was in a car accident and had to rush back to the office after dropping her victim off at his workplace. That sounded like a poor excuse for _I just don't want to meet your family,_ but it wasn't like Shiro could argue with her. Rukia was stubborn. If she didn't want to do something, there was no way of strong holding her into submission. No is no, and Rukia said no.

'I wanna go again.' Rangiku whispered into his ear, breaking his thoughts. 'Give it to me again.'

 _Rukia... What are you planning to do?_

'Again?' Shiro laughed in that maniacal way that he only he could get away without coming off as creepy. 'You insatiable woman.'

She pouted at his semi-insult, but he kissed her hurt feelings away. He pulled the covers off of her and touched her with all the expertise he learned through experience sliming his way though the throes of the corporate world.

He needed something from Rangiku as well. He needed her to be weak and careless.

Whatever it was that Rukia needed from Kaien's case, he'd find it first.

Assuming there was anything to find.

After all, Rukia never gave so much as a hint as to why she was interested in Kaien's murder for as long as he'd known her. No, she was a very cautious woman. So heavily guarded and removed from humanity that Shiro struggled not to yell at her for being so viciously cold.

And he wanted her anyway. Wasn't that odd?

'You really shouldn't be cheating on your fiancé.' Rangiku teased.

'I guess I'm just a bad, bad boy.'

 **. . .**

'I-Inoue...?!' Ichigo gawked at the woman standing in the middle of his apartment as he stood before her in just a towel wrapped around his hips. Her jaw hung open as she eyed her employee up and down with a suspicious glimmer in her eyes. Ichigo thought nothing of it. Well, he didn't think that she was being malicious. Just that she was freaked out and that this was an awkward situation. 'Inoue, what are you doing here?' he pressed when she didn't respond.

'Oh!' she snapped out of her stupor. 'Kurosaki-kun, y-you just looked r-really happy today, so... I just wanted to know why that was. If anything had changed in your life...'

'That's nice, but how did you know where I live?'

'You filled out a sheet before I hired you. There was a section asking you to state your address. And your door was unlocked, so I just let myself in... I hope you don't mind.'

'Oh.' he frowned. She should have still called to say that she was coming over. Especially at such an ungodly hour of the evening. 'Well...'

Oh, wait.

 _Fuck._

'D-Did you...' he stammered. 'Did you hear me in the bathroom...?'

'Yeah.' she squealed and blushed a made shade of red. 'I did.'

 _Perfect._

His boss just heard him jacking off in the bathroom.

'Don't worry about it!' she raised her hands up in the air in a dramatic surrender. 'I-It's not a big deal! I'm f-fine! It's normal! Haha! D-Don't worry!'

He wanted to just sink into the ground. 'Sure... U-Umm...' he scratched the back of his head. 'I'm fine. Nothing's changed in my life. I-I'll just see you at work tomorrow, yeah?'

'Yeah!' she grinned and he breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps she wasn't going to be awkward about this whole incident if they just pretended like it never happened. Business as unusual, nothing out of the ordinary... Although he should probably double check every night to see if he locked his apartment. He certainly wouldn't want a repeat of this incident.

'Alright, so-'

'Kurosaki-kun, before I go, I wanted to give this to you.' she fished an envelope out of her pocket and handed it to him. He stared at it, puzzled, before realizing with slight offence what was going on.

'Inoue... I don't feel comfortable taking more money from you.'

'But you need it.'

'You don't know if I need it.'

'You've been asking for longer shifts. It's obvious you want more money, and I know that you have to pay for your next semester pretty soon. This will help with that.'

Shit. She was right. But, still...

'Inoue, I can't.'

'Please. Take it.'

He stared at her skeptically for a good minute before conceding and taking the envelope from her. 'Thank you.' he whispered sincerely, though his voice was laced with concern. He hated second-guessing people, but this whole situation was just strange. Orihime wasn't particularly rich. She needed the money too. So why was she liberally handing him large amounts of cash every so often? And now she was coming to his apartment... How weird. 'Thank you.' he said again with even more sincerity.

'Don't mention it!'

Once she left, Ichigo dressed himself and slipped under the bed covers. Once again, he found it difficult to sleep.

He jacked off to the memory of a stranger and accepted even more money from his kind-hearted employer who randomly showed up at his place.

What a strange evening.

 **. . .**

'Rukia, have you taken care of catering for tomorrow's meeting?'

'Yes, Nii-sama.' Rukia spoke from the other side of the dining table. 'Although, I took into consideration that there will only be five people in attendance, myself and you included in that head count. To arrange for full-course catering would be a waste of money.'

'Well, you don't want our potential business partners to starve, do you? They might label us as cheap. Or worse, poor.'

Rukia bit her lip to prevent herself from laughing. 'I have arranged for sweets to be delivered, Nii-sama. Surely a selection of pastries shall suffice.'

'From where did you order these pastries?'

'The ABC bakery.'

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **NieveDrop, RukiYuki, MugetsuIchigo, jannika, gin, Kevvy Talks, IchiRuki 4vr, shirayukideathberry, jobananasan,** **EvoxKei,** and the **Guest** reviewer!

 **gin,** all the answers to those questions will come in time!

 **IchiRuki 4vr,** those questions will be answered in time! Also, I'm also wanting to explore a boy's sexual awakening. So expect quite a few of those moments.

 **shirayukideathberry,** thank you so much! You're too kind.

 **jobananasan,** Ichigo is eighteen. Rukia may be younger than she's letting on. Rukia and Shiro are in fact engaged! Ichigo's backstory will be revealed in time.

 **EvoxKei,** thanks! I'm trying to do something different with this story.

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	4. The First Truth

Ichigo had just been instructed by Orihime to deliver an order of three dozen assorted pastries to Kuchiki Corporation. He hadn't yet learned how to drive, so he had to carry the goods by foot. Luckily, the ABC bakery wasn't too far from his final destination; just ten blocks away. Plus, one box housed a dozen confections, so he really only had to carry three boxes. That wasn't such a hard feat for a strong, young man like Ichigo.

Besides, he was glad that he had an excuse to not work in such close proximity to Orihime today.

He didn't think that their encounter last night (which, by the way, was nothing short of embarrassing for him) would render their relationship awkward, but he was sorely mistaken. As soon as he saw her again, his cheeks flushed an obnoxious shade of red and his gaze remained glued to the floor. It was just so _nasty,_ what he'd done while she was around. She must've thought he was such a pervert.

Well, he wasn't quite right.

If anything, Orihime had grown even more fond of him - if that was possible. She was suddenly touching him _all the time_ , from periodically squeezing his biceps to running a hand up his back when he was busy cutting up some bread for a customer's order. It wasn't like he could whip around and tell her to stop. After all, she was helping him immensely with his finances. Quite frankly, he wouldn't be able to so much as eat without her in his life - he knew that. Additionally, she might just be overcompensating for their weird situation last night.

Right?

He didn't much thought into it. He was just glad that this delivery assignment gave him an excuse to not deal with it. Maybe he'd mull it over tonight... Or not. This would pass. Orihime was a quirky woman, and this might just be one of those times when she was being extra odd.

 _Right?_

'ABC bakery.' Ichigo told the guard of the building. 'I'm the delivery guy.'

'Go ahead.' the chubby, disgruntled security guard hit the buzzer and with a soft click, the doors opened.

Ichigo nodded his head and gave his thanks as he stepped inside. Once he stepped foot into the lobby, his eyes widened at how unbelievably luxurious the place was. The marbled floor was impeccably clean and shiny, there were orchids on every desk including a particularly extravagant arrangement by the concierge table, and the air smelled of sweet cherry blossoms. It was almost as though he had stepped into an enclosed world, separate from the grime of Karakura Town's financial district.

It was nice.

'Welcome to Kuchiki Corporations.' Renji Abarai, the receptionist, greeted him.

Ichigo wasn't one to judge people by their appearances... Normally. But he winced at the sharp contrast between Renji's wild aesthetic and their surroundings. 'Uh... Hey. I'm the delivery guy from the ABC bakery.'

'Right this way.' Renji narrowed his eyes. He didn't the like the look of this punk. Ridiculously orange hair and a tempting-to-punch scowl could only mean disaster. Well, if he was just here to drop off some food, then perhaps he wouldn't have time to be troublesome.

Renji stood up and gestured for Ichigo to follow him. The two men made their way down a corridor to the left which led to an elevator. There was only one button, indicating that there was no way but up. Renji hit this button and a heavy silence engulfed the pair. It was an unspoken fact that neither men were very fond of each other, despite having absolutely no basis for their distaste.

'So...' Ichigo cleared his throat. 'You've been working here for how long now?'

'Six months now.'

'Oh.' That was odd. Despite his outrageous appearance, he still looked quite young. Young enough to be in high school, even. This swanky hotel-offce thing didn't look like it was opening to hiring anyone without a university degree. And wouldn't such a fancy place make use of bodyguards from an executive agency or somewhere equally... official? 'How old are you?'

A vein popped on Renji's tatted forehead. 'Ok, first of all, that's fucking rude to ask. Second, age is just a number so your question's not a very smart one!'

'I was just asking...' Ichigo seethed. 'You crazy, fucking-'

The elevator dinged open, and Ginrei Kuchiki was revealed to be in the elevator. He was accompanied by three bodyguards who were obviously way, way older than Renji. Out of respect, the two arguing teenage boys ceased their squabble and stepped aside for the elderly man. Renji actually bowed, fists clenching behind his back because he knew that Ichigo would be leaving with the last word.

'Renji.' Ginrei began. 'Escort me to my car.'

'Yes, sir.' the redhead obediently barked, leaving Ichigo to ride the elevator alone.

'Geez.' Ichigo mumbled to himself. 'What a dick.'

 **. . .**

'Your sister continues to amaze me.'

'Of course she is spectacular at this job. She is a Kuchiki, after all.' Byakuya bit the inner walls of his cheeks to prevent himself from smiling.

The business meeting had just concluded, and the partners were now making small talk in anticipation of what Rukia promised would be the most delightful confections. She was visibly embarrassed that the desserts hadn't arrived earlier, but all she could do now was keep her cool. Byakuya clicked his tongue at her, but said nothing. Though she still had a long way to go, she had already improved so much as a large shareholder in his company. He intended to leave it in her name when he passed away, so it was wonderful to see her already adjusting to what he envisioned for her future.

And it certainly didn't hurt that the rest of the businessmen were impressed with her prowess as well.

'Real estate is a little risky.' Rukia winced.

'Why is that?' Sousuke Aizen quirked a brow. He, too, had been in the meeting and was therefore privy to Rukia's brimming potential. If he was going to eventually do business with her, he wanted to get to know her better. The best way to get to know his future ally, he presumed, was to talk about business. 'Everyone needs housing. There will always be a demand for it.'

'Sure, but you can't really predict what the conditions of the area will be and so you can't really control your demographic either. That's important, as you know. Depending on your market, your returns may be high or ridiculously low. If you want to maximize your investment potential, you need to be a bit more risky.'

'Excuse me.' Ichigo walked in without knocking. 'ABC bakery, delivery.'

Ichigo kept his head low as he unceremoniously dropped the boxes onto the empty meeting table. All of the other men in the room raised their eyebrows in clear distaste for this child's lack of manners. On the other hand, it was taking all of Rukia's self-control not to jump up and down with glee. She had been looking forward to luring Ichigo into her territory, and it only played to her advantage that he seemed to be intimidated in this corporate setting.

'Thank you.' Rukia waltzed to his side.

Shocked chestnuts flew to the sight of her, his lips parting and jaw slacking. She was once again clad in her business attire, though behind her sparkling sapphires was a dark playfulness that sent chills up and down his face. Ichigo didn't think he was the smartest person in the world, but he was competent enough to realize that she had called for this delivery on purpose.

After all, she dropped him off at work.

'Gentlemen.' Rukia motioned to her guests and brother to help themselves to the food. 'As promised, your catering has arrived.'

The room erupted in polite laughter, but Ichigo's frown deepened. _The fuck?_ That wasn't funny at all.

He supposed she sucked at cracking jokes.

'Please excuse me.' she continued. 'I'll escort our delivery guy out of the building.'

'Yes.' Byakuya narrowed his eyes at the orange-haired student. 'See to that.'

 _Rukia,_ Byakuya's thoughts were doubtful. _What are you planning to do?_

'H-Hey...!' Ichigo protested weakly when Rukia took his hand and began leading him outside. The nostalgia of her skin on his, no matter how casual this mere hand-holding was, still sent an erotic electricity coursing through him. At the back of his mind were raging hypotheticals, from her kissing him in the elevator to her answering the door in nothing but a robe when he delivered sweets to her _private residence_.

He sighed. He really was such a horrible person, reducing her to the star of his mental porno library.

But now he knew he had to be a little more wary of her.

'Hey.' he repeated harder. 'Hey, Rukia-'

Without a word, she shoved him into the elevator. He noted that she was stronger than she physically appeared. He sort of expected her to bid him goodbye as the elevators separated them, but he couldn't exactly say that he was surprised when she joined him in the lift. Rather than press the button that would take them to the ground floor, she chose one that was just a floor below them.

'Rukia, hey!' he didn't care that he raised his voice at her. 'What the hell?! You stalker, where are we going-'

'To my office.' she flashed him a grin over her shoulder.

'H-Hey-'

But it was too late. She excited him and the promise of their solitude in a secondary location intensified his hormonal attachment to her. Though it pained him to admit it, he was at her mercy right now.

He'd do whatever she told him to.

When the elevator doors parted again, there was no hallway or lobby - it was a spacious room with a single desk at the back, a desktop computer sitting on top of it, as we as a half-eaten granola bar. He chuckled inwardly at that. So she wasn't the tidiest person, nor was she the fondest of embellishing her surroundings. Perhaps there was more simplicity to her than he originally thought.

'Come on.' she stepped foot into her office first. He trailed behind her awkwardly, not quite sure what was going on. His brain was hazy, not really registering the strange occurrences that were happening in his life.

First, his boss gets all touchy-feely with him.

Then, this stranger failed to walk out of his life after their first encounter.

'Fuck.' he rubbed his temples, but followed her orders and entered her space. 'I...'

 _What the fuck?_

'Too much is going on.' he grumbled. 'I don't know how I feel about all this.'

'What?' Rukia laughed. She hopped on her desk and sat cross-legged, her stilettoed feet dangling a few feet above the ground. 'What's wrong?'

'Look, I know you ordered all that junk on purpose to get me here.'

'What are you talking about?'

'You drop me off at work, and the next day, Inoue gets an order from you?'

Rukia pursed her lips. 'You're not as slow as you look.'

'Thanks.' he snapped. 'What the hell do you want?'

'I just wanted to talk.'

'Talk? I'm not interested.'

'Oh?' she pouted. 'Did you just want to kiss me and leave, then?'

His breath hitched in his throat.

Fuck.

Oh yeah.

He suddenly felt very self-conscious. It just hit him that this girl, though obviously dangerous and potentially troublesome, had imprinted herself on him as his first sexual experience. This woman, who had been jacking off to in the shower last night, was right in front of him. Rukia, who he had objectified and fantasized about in his head, was in close proximity in the flesh.

And he was being such a dick.

'I'm so confused.' he softened his voice to appear more non-threatening. 'What do you want from me?'

'I want answers.' she leaned forwards. 'I-'

His phone rang, effectively cutting her off.

'Sorry.' he muttered. 'It's my sister. I need to get this...'

'Sure.'

'Karin?' he spoke into the receiver. 'What-'

For the next good minute, Rukia watched as Ichigo's features transitioned from panic to worry to anger, until finally settling on calculated aggression that she wondered if he developed as a defense mechanism. He swiftly bid his sister goodbye and shoved his phone in his pocket, flashing her an attempt at appearing in control of a situation that was wrecking havoc on his emotions.

'Sorry.' he mumbled. 'I've gotta go.'

'What's wrong?' she asked anxiously. Despite being a member of the notoriously icy Kuchiki clan, Rukia had a soft heart. It didn't matter if someone was a friend or foe. So long as she saw another human being suffering in front of her, her empathy resonated with that.

'My sister, Yuzu. She's not... I need to see her.'

'Oh.' Rukia's genuine concern shone through. 'Is there anything I can do to help?'

'No. Sorry, I... I know you went through the trouble of luring me in here, and I'd love to play into your games, trust me-' his tone was laced with lusty anticipation. 'But I need to go back to reality now.'

'Please, let me give you a ride. Just hold on, I'll grab my coat.'

Rukia sped to the bathroom, where she kept a rack of clothes just in case she needed to change. Given her lifestyle, she could never really tell when exactly she'd need a gown or a nightdress. Either she had a gala to go to last minute, or demonic business partners demanded that she stay overnight at the office for some bullshit paperwork she knew she didn't really need to hand in. She grabbed the first coat she saw (her mind didn't even register what colour it was) and hurried out to see Ichigo in her office.

Ichigo was nowhere to be found.

'That fool...'

* * *

When Ichigo arrived at the hospital where Yuzu was confined, he was shocked that the doctors refused to let him into the room (let alone do anything to actually help Yuzu) without a down payment. Ichigo tried desperately to convince the staff to treat his sister while he collected funds, but they would not have it. It was money down, or the child was going to remain undiagnosed. According to Karin, Yuzu had suddenly collapsed in the afternoon. She was apparently irritable in the morning, so the nurses suggested that perhaps she had not eaten well or was dehydrated. They highlighted that although they could theorize the root cause of the problem as much as they liked, no conclusion could be reached without examining and treating the patient.

Karin tried not to cry.

Out of options, Ichigo called the one person who he knew would be able to help him: Orihime.

She gleefully made the payment and asked Ichigo if he wanted her to drive him home. He responded saying that he didn't even know she had a car. She laughed and said that there were a lot of things about her that he didn't know.

She also said that they should get to know each other better.

Ichigo didn't read much into it.

Out of courtesy, he invited her into his apartment to make her a drink. She obliged and he immediately regretted the decision. After a long couple of days, he really just wanted to calm his nerves and think about all that was happening around him. Plus, he wasn't totally comfortable with Orihime yet. On the other hand, she was more than comfortable in his presence.

'Thanks for helping me out.' he handed her a mug of coffee. 'I really appreciate it.'

'Don't worry about it!' was her chipper reply. 'You know that I just want to protect you, Kurosaki-kun.'

'Thanks for that, really. You're the best.'

'Hehe. No worries. I'll always be here to help you.'

'I appreciate that.'

'Mhmm... But don't I get anything in return?'

'What?' he was confused. All this time, he thought that she was handing him money out of the kindness of her own heart. It had been this way for three years now. She had never asked for anything to be given to her, but he supposed that perhaps times were tough. The start of the year had been a tough one for the ABC bakery. 'I'm sorry.' he mumbled. 'I don't have anything to give you. I'm more than happy to work more hours, so-'

'Ichigo.' she placed her hands on his chest. An eyebrow quirked at her unwelcome display of affection, but he allowed the contact. It wasn't like it was making him particularly uncomfortable anyway. It was just... weird.

'What is it, Inoue?'

'I waited.'

'Waited?'

'Till you turned eighteen, last year.'

She lost him.

His brain was whirring at lightyear speed, desperately trying to read some sense into her cryptic speech.

'Wait for what, Inoue?'

She didn't give him an answer.

She gave him a kiss.

The next thing he knew, she was straddling him on his bed. He vaguely recalled obliging when she took his hand and led him to the mattress. He did nothing when she pushed him down and got on top of him. She took off her shirt and he felt a tiny jolt of excitement at seeing her undressing before him, but the buildup of bile at the back of his throat was nauseating.

 _What the fuck?_

'Kurosaki-kun, I'll protect you. So... So please...'

She kisses him again, but he doesn't kiss back. She grabs his hands and place them on her hips, but he doesn't pull away. He thinks of pushing her off, but thinks of what would have happened to Yuzu had Orihime not come to the rescue. He briefly considers that Yuzu may have to be hospitalized for longer, and he won't be able to fund her stay at the hospital on his own.

He needed Orihime.

The bitch _knew_ that.

'Kurosaki-kun...' her breath is hot against his pelvis as she pulls his pants down. 'Kurosaki-kun, I need you.'

The jig was up. His impression of an inanimate rag doll was no longer satisfying her.

He was expected to perform.

 _Ouch, Kurosaki-kun!_ It either hurts here or there or _somewhere_ , and it was obvious that he wasn't very good at this. She'd let a few seconds pass before she demanded that he place his hands on her breasts or kiss her neck or something, _anything_ more than what he was doing now because nothing he was doing was enough. She was starting to irritate him. He wasn't having fun - he was nervous and disgusted all at once, like he was sitting in math class when the classroom hadn't been cleaned up in years.

He hated being inside of a woman who held his power in her hands.

He had the power of choice; entertain this woman, or seek other means of acquiring funds for his sick sister.

He never felt so powerless before.

Even compared to when he saved Miyako from Kaien, only for his cousin to meet his untimely end.

Ichigo saved nobody that day. But today, he could ensure that Yuzu would be able to receive treatment.

'I'm sorry I can't sleep over.' she pecked him on the lips when they were done. 'I have to open up the shop early tomorrow.'

He didn't say anything.

'Goodnight, Kurosaki-kun.' she cooed as she shut the door behind her.

Ichigo stood up.

It was time to hit the shower again, but for an entirely different reason.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

I'm very excited to let you guys know that I've consulted **NieveDrop** for this story. We've worked out majority of the plot, and I'm so excited about everything that we've blueprinted.

Thank you to **blissbeat, hinataellis, RukiYuki, NieveDrop, IchirukiFan94, jobananasan, IchiRuki 4vr, shirayukideathberry, FlynnChan, EvoxKei,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **Guest,** Rukia and Ichigo may or may not have previously met! I was also reminded of that scene when I wrote it. I used that scene in the manga as a reference for it, actually.

 **IchirukiFan94** , thanks so much! I'm trying to do something a little different with this in terms of the characters' dynamics with each other, so I hope that you'll like the progression of the story.

 **jobananasan,** lol yes, she really wants Ichigo to notice her. Orihime owns the bakery, so she gets a decent income. Also, she has no family to support, so her excess money doesn't really have a purpose other than Ichigo. You asked me a question about Ichigo and theme of a boy's sexual awakening, and I believe that this chapter answers your question! I also want to explore morality around their arrangement.

 **shirayukideathberry,** lmao, yes Shiro will be quite a fuckboy. I think out of everyone in this story, he will definitely be the most outwardly morally corrupt. You'll definitely see more of conceited Byakuya!

 **EvoxKei** , thank you so much! So kind of you to say.

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	5. Hey, You Alright?

'Hey...' Shiro Kurosaki answered a knock at his door. He lived in a gated house with guards on standby. Before anyone could be able to knock on his door, he or she would have to bypass an intense security search unless the guards themselves were so familiar with this guest that they let him or her waltz right up to their master's residence. Consequently, Shiro never took any knocking at his door lightly. It must have been urgent, or a very important person.

Not to say that Rukia wasn't important.

It's just... Well, she had never visited him at this hour of the night.

'Hey.' the petite businesswoman greeted with her stoic Kuchiki mask on. 'Can I come in?'

'Yeah.' he chuckled awkwardly. 'Absolutely.' He gestured for her to enter, and she took the invitation. She tiptoed on her high heels (the ones that he likes) into his living room, where she found a comfortable-looking red sofa. She raised a brow. What a bold choice of colour for such a mysterious man. Without seeking his approval, she sat on the couch. Long legs crossed to expose the back of her thighs up a scandalous length. He grinned. She smiled back, knowing full well that he liked sweet girls.

'How's your evening?'

'Better now.' he took a seat beside her. He placed a hand on her knee and gave her a malicious squeeze. 'Much better now.'

She eyed his hand, but made no move to push him away. Though his lecherous advances made her uncomfortable, she knew that wedging herself into his life by manipulating his vices was the only way she would be able get information on Kaien's case, although it had been closed a couple of years ago. She followed the trials the best she could, but to her surprise, the privileges granted to an aristocratic only reached so far. There was nothing she could do about the legislative system's respect for privacy when dealing with cases involving minors.

Still, she never forgot about Kaien all these years. She wanted to know the truth about his passing because the Kaien she knew could never be a villain. Evidence must have been planted, secrets may have been protected, people must have thrown her deceased mentor under the bus to cover their asses.

 _Something_ must have manipulated the image of the situation.

Kaien would never be a villain, not in her eyes.

Her only shot at finding the truth out was to investigate from within.

Shiro Kurosaki was the older of Ichigo Kurosaki; that much she knew. Surely, the siblings were close to an extent. Perhaps Ichigo had shared something with Shiro that no one else was supposed to know. Rukia even considered that if Shiro felt that she was serious about their relationship, he would introduce her to his family.

Which he was supposed to do.

Fate was truly on her side for her to (literally) bump into Ichigo that very same day.

As expected, the student was heavily guarded around her. It appeared that he didn't quite take to strangers. _Smart boy_ , she thought in passing. Nevertheless, like his brother, he had a weakness for women and Rukia had every intention to exploit that. It was sad, but the attraction she felt towards him that day was in large part due to the fact that he looked so much like Kaien; the structured jaw, the gentle but passionate eyes, and the stern setting of his lips.

But she was not to be fooled.

Unlike Kaien, Ichigo was a monster. And she was going to prove it.

Well, at least that had been her intention in the beginning. From her brief conversation with him earlier in the day, he seemed to be struck by another one of life's endless strategies. Again, it may have been because of his strong resemblance to a man who was important to her, but the forlorn expression he snapped to when he answered his sister's phone called tugged at Rukia's heart strings.

So all that vindication she accumulated all these years; they struggled to turn into hate after seeing Ichigo so sad.

Did she care about him in that moment?

 _It's just because he looks like Kaien-dono,_ she reminded herself. _It's just because he looks like Kaien-donol. He's nothing like Kaien-dono. He's not Kaien-dono._

 **Kaien-dono is gone.**

She swallowed hard.

'Hey...' Shiro snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her to sit on top of his lap. 'Is something wrong?'

'No.' she whispered. 'Why do you ask?'

'You look sad.'

She pulled away from him. 'I don't get sad.'

'Oh, really?' he cupped her face and that gold-plated gaze of his bore into her calculated eyes like two imploding stars. 'Then why are you here?'

 _To extract information from you._

'I...' she stalled. 'I just... I was wondering if you were alright.'

He raised his eyebrows. 'Why do you ask?'

'I was just wondering.'

'Just wondering?'

'Call it a woman's intuition.'

'Hmm... I don't believe in such a thing.' he let go of her face and began unbuttoning the top of her blouse. 'But if you must ask, my little sister actually got sent to the hospital.'

Rukia grabbed his wrists to prevent him from undressing her. 'Oh.' _That's why Ichigo was so upset._ 'I see. Is she doing alright?'

'No. Duh. Why would she be in the hospital if she was alright?'

'How is she, then?'

'Not so good. Might have to be confined for a while. Hey.' he shook free of her grasp. 'How long are you going to deny me some much needed love?'

She clicked her tongue. 'Love? What a simple-minded man you are, to equate sex to love.'

* * *

Ichigo felt sick.

It wasn't just the perpetual burning sensation of his raw skin against the unforgiving fabric of his school uniform; that he accounted for on his own when he tried to literally scrub all remnants of Orihime Inoue off of himself. No, this hollowing of the stomach that made him feel like he was sinking into his own personal whirlpool of quicksand - an unwanted property that had been terrorizing him the moment his boss (his _fucking boss_ , really?) took his virginity.

That was a window in time when Ichigo truly believed that his soul was detached from his body. The experience was just too strange. He couldn't make sense of it. There were so many conflicting feelings about it running rampant in his sore skull that he was seriously tempted to jam a knife up there and split his head open himself just to find out what it is that he truly felt about the whole situation.

 _'Kurosaki-kun...' her breath is hot against his pelvis as she pulls his pants down. 'Kurosaki-kun, I need you.'_

 _She expected him to perform; his impression of an inanimate rag doll was no longer satisfying her._

 _Yet he still refused to touch her._

 _With the scarce courage he could muster, he propped himself up on his elbows to look at her. She met his melting ambers (that were begging her to not do this) with a cruel gray. It was evident that she was not to be swayed._

 _She really wanted him to touch her._

Ichigo thought she was joking.

Ok, maybe he didn't _really_ think that her undressing herself and then him was all part of this facade. But clinging onto the hope that it would all just stop and she'd yell _ha, got you!_ was what kept him sane in the moment.

He liked Orihime. She had always been good to him.

But there was no goodness to be found in the twisted transaction using his body as currency. Not just his body; his first time, a memory that she painted black and blue so that it was bruised, _painful_ at the back of his mind. Even now, as he tried to listen to the most boring lecture about derivatives in mathematics, he found himself unable to get lost in the emptiness of zero thought.

His safe space, where no one could hurt him.

It was gone.

 _'Nnh.' he bit his tongue - he could taste the blood._

 _Orihime had just taken him in her mouth. It was like her silent fuck you to him when she whined for his attention and he refused to give it. Well, if she was going to take action against his feigned ignorance, then he was going to have to step it up. Defensively, he reached down to grab her by the shoulders and began a light push. She forced her weight down against his iron grip, making it clear that she wasn't to go down without a fight._

 _ **Stop!**_

 _That single word could have saved him, but it never left his throat._

 _He didn't want to do this with this woman, but the image of an unconscious Yuzu sprawled out helplessly on a hospital bed rang much too clearly in his mind. His outrage and disgust at the audacity of this too-forward woman who assumed that he was going to lay down and take her shit because she paid for him, well... Those feelings were powerful, but not as powerful as the anticipated guilt he felt over potentially fucking his sister over._

 _Orihime was Yuzu's only chance._

 _Ichigo let go of her shoulders._

In his heart, he truly wanted nothing to do with the older woman riding him without care for his own emotional well being. Yet, his body responded in ways that he assumed was just natural (?) for a young, hormonal male.

Attractive, naked woman on top of him. Check. Audible cries of pleasure. Check. Said woman telling him over and over just how _good_ he was. Check, check, _check_!

Taking a step back to objectively assess the situation, it really was no wonder why he responded the way that he did. But he'd be lying if he said that he wanted her that night, or that he felt an emotional connection to her. Now, though Ichigo was up until only recently a virgin, his friendship with Mizuiro taught him a lot about casual, sexual relationships. Sex didn't have to be with someone you loved - hell, he could fuck someone and forget their name the next day (at least Mizuiro could). Having said that, Ichigo still somewhat romanticized his first time in his head.

He wanted love and heat and beautiful emotions entangling in broken whispers between awkwardly locking limbs.

Just like how the novels he read made lovemaking out to be.

But there was no love when she bled.

 _His gut somersaulted when she took him inside of her. He stared at their interwoven flesh through hooded lips, which opened wide when he saw the web of red that stained his length._

 _Was this her first time? That hadn't even occurred to him._

 _Then he realized that this was reality. The blood, the loss of innocence; those were all real consequences._

 _There could be more consequences._

 _'A condom.' he blurted. 'I need a condom.'_

 _'No...' she hissed with glossy lust on her lips. 'No. I like you this way, Kurosaki-kun.'_

 _ **Like what way?** he almost asked her._

 _Sweaty, vulnerable, and frightened? Worried sick that he was going to get her pregnant and she'd expect even more of him? Shocked that his personhood had just been stripped from him?_

 _He didn't feel like a person, not anymore._

'Hey, Ichigo-'

'Whoa!' Ichigo jumped at the voice that disrupted his brooding. His head snapped to the direction of the inquiry, so that daydreaming chestnut eyes could settle angrily on a chipper Keigo Asano. Had it been anyone else - like Mizuiro or Chad - Ichigo would not have been half as annoyed as he was at the moment. There was just something about Keigo that ticked him off, but that same idiosyncratic eccentricity was sort of endearing. Perhaps that was why they were still friends? 'What the hell? What do you want?'

'Well...' Keigo scratched his neck. Good question. _I was worried about you?_ Nah, that would creep tough-guy Ichigo out. 'You were just spacing out, and math class ended, like, ten minutes ago, so...'

'We were wondering if you were still alive.' Mizuiro happily interjected.

'O-Oh.' Ichigo quelled his irritation. 'I didn't even realize that class was over.'

'Uh, yeah!' Mizuiro tilted his head quizzically. 'That's why we were wondering why you were still zoned out.'

'I wasn't zoning out.'

'If you say so.' the rich kid shrugged his shoulders. He knew better than to probe that which Ichigo did not want to reveal. The orange-haired senior was terrible at sharing his emotions, and even worse when people tried to reach into his heart. Though his friends loved him very much, they knew that there was no way Ichigo would actually say anything to them if something was genuinely bothering him.

After shaking his friends off, Ichigo walked out of the school with a heavy weight on his shoulders. As he sauntered through the maze-like corridors of Karakura High, a euphoric but superficial sensation of belonging graced his lonely being for just a second. He'd never outwardly admit it, but he liked going to school for the single reason that the environment made him feel like a normal, teenage boy.

Not some dime-a-dozen whore.

Ichigo shook his head.

He had to push those thoughts away.

He stepped out into the gloom of Karakura Town.

It was raining.

He hadn't brought an umbrella with him. He didn't anticipate such shitty weather, though he supposed that the showers would dissipate fairly quickly. Maybe in the next thirty minutes? Spring was always like this; peppered with bitterness yet beautifully floral, sweet on the surface - only on the surface.

The rain hit his face. It was cold, but failed to cause him to shiver. After all, he had spent much of his adolescence trying to ignore the chill of despair. He learned the hard way that no good would come out of showing his emotions. The best way, the _only_ way to go about life with confidence is to pretend that nothing could shake him. Even if he was screaming inside, he would remain silent. Why burden anyone with the dysfunction of his heart?

'Are you alright?' another voice interrupted yet another deep contemplation.

Ichigo pulled himself out of his self-induced trance to meet the concerned yet abrasive Tatsuki Arisawa. Her piercingly anxious face sent him reeling with suspicion. Why had she just asked what was wrong with him? Was he that obvious? No, couldn't possibly be.

It's because she was friends with Orihime.

She must've known what happened.

'Of course I'm alright.' he snapped. 'Are _you_ alright?'

'Huh?!' her jaw dropped. She seemed taken aback, offended that he met her genuinely worried inquiry with an aggressive rebound. Not that she was a stranger to Ichigo's rebuffs. In fact, she had almost come to expect it. But the way he had done it this time, how his eyes hardened and scrutinized her, and the way that his body tensed like he expected her to hurt him - _what the fuck_? She was his friend, _had_ been his friend for a long time now. She didn't deserve this kind of rejection from him! 'Ichigo, I was just wondering if you were OK. You were sorta spacing out in class.'

'Well, it's a boring class.'

'Yeah, but... You care about school, right? It's not like you to try anything less than your best.'

She was giving him anxiety.

Had she been watching him all throughout class? Why would she do that? Why today, out of all days? And he was sure that there were many other times when he dozed off during lectures; he was only human, after all. So why had she chosen to approach him now, out of all the times when she could have done so?

 _She knows._

'You really shouldn't be scolding me.' he coldly replied. 'Like I'd listen to you anyway.'

Tatsuki scoffed, shook her head, and speedily head on her own way home. Ichigo breathed a sigh of relief. That entire exchange was emotionally and physically taxing. He wasn't down to play games with anyone. If Tatsuki knew, she should just come out and say it. What did she want to do? Laugh at him? Tease him? Call him out on hurting Orihime, because Tatsuki was always so fucking obsessed with that girl.

Like damn, Orihime was her own person. She could fend for herself.

Ichigo liked protecting people, just didn't like patronizing them.

He shut his eyes in contemplation.

With a heavy sigh, he scratched the back of his vibrantly orange head. He didn't know why he was being such a dick. It wasn't Tatsuki's fault that last night rubbed him the wrong way. He was being such a crybaby about the whole thing. He lost his virginity, so what? He lost it to a really hot chick who gave him money on the side. He should be happy. So many other guys would be jumping for joy.

Joy was the last thing he felt.

When he opened his eyes again, a familiar figure made his insides jump.

'Hey.' Rukia greeted him, arms folded over her chest, and her tiny frame teetering on ridiculously high stilettos with her back leaning against a new car (not the black van). 'How are you, fool?'

'Fool?' he snarled. 'Who are you calling a fool?!'

'You.' she shrugged.

He so wanted to rage out at her. He wanted to really let her have it this time for he had had enough of her condescension. Where exactly did she get off prancing around town like she owned the damn place (but he wouldn't be surprised if she actually did) and slipping insults at him like she probably slipped dollar bills under the table to get whatever she wanted? She was a brat, she was spoiled, she was rotten.

He wanted to give her a piece of his mind.

So he was incredibly sheepish when he wound up in the passenger seat of her car after she offered to give him a ride.

'Where to?'

'Work.' he answered through gritted teeth. 'Take me to work.'

'Please?'

'Huh?'

'"Take me to work, please." That sounds nicer, don't you think?'

'What the-'

'Or, "take me out to work, please, Rukia-sama!" would be even better, right?'

He banged his head on the window.

This woman was unbelievable.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **RukiYuki, NieveDrop, blissbeat, shirayukideathberry, anja, IchiRuki 4vr, jobananasan, Ghost iv, CC, Evoxkei,** and the **Guest** reviewer!

 **NieveDrop,** LMAO what a coincidence!

 **blissbeat,** Orihime took Ichigo's virginity!

 **shirayukideathberry,** lol honestly, I felt ill writing it so I kept the details to a minimum. However, as you'll see in this story, the details of that night will be relived in more graphic detail. Although it sort of discomforts me to write it, I feel like it's necessary to underline Ichigo's developing mental state. As for your other questions, you'll just have to wait and see!

 **anja** , thank you so much for your kind words! Will definitely keep your request in mind!

 **IchiRuki 4vr,** hmm but _are_ they innocent? You'll have to find out!

 **jobananasan,** they might both be adults, but they are most definitely not on even playing fields! I still believe that Orihime is extorting Ichigo's poverty and naivety, given that she knows that he's having a hard time financially. In my opinion, I think that Ichigo's been manipulated and there was no way that that encounter with Orihime could have been consensual. On the other hand, the question of consent is certainly something I want to explore. Reading your opinion gave me another prism to which I can write Ichigo's thoughts, so I'm very thankful that you've voiced your opinion about it. As for your other questions, you'll have to wait and see!

 **Evoxkei,** you'll have to wait for the backstory! I also never wrote that Rukia wanted to be intimate with Ichigo per se. There is attraction on Ichigo's end, but Rukia's feelings are in the dark. I purposely left out details when I wrote that scene because Ichigo will be recalling lost moments of that night later on as part of his mental progression.

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	6. Let's Not Talk Too Much

'You're awfully quiet.'

'Mm.' Ichigo hummed a response. His chin was resting on his palm as he looked out the window to distract himself from Rukia's sweet-smelling fragrance. Being next to this man was like trying not to pick out the most sugary candies at a sweets shop while on a diet. He wanted, very badly, to get to know her on a level that bypassed the time-consuming process of feeling a person out. He didn't need to feel her out. He wanted to move right into _feeling her_.

'How was school, Ichigo?'

'The same as always.'

She nodded slowly. 'I see.'

This situation was dreadfully awkward. She hadn't exactly thought this through. For some reason (although she was supposed to hate this man somewhat) she wanted to see if he was feeling better since yesterday. Maybe it was an instinctive, empathetic reaction from one human being to another, but ever since he walked out of her office without her knowing, her heart had been heavy with concern for him. And now, as he sat by her side in within the confined space of her car, she still felt the need to get closer to him still. He was maintaining a distance from her that she wanted to narrow. She realized, with a little fear, that she wanted to help this man.

The man who had ripped her heart out.

She gave the steering wheel a painful squeeze. Despite being a prominent member of the Kuchiki clan for years now, potent shards of her emotional spirit remained. Although the expectations her brother had of her sometimes caused her a great deal of stress, she was sort of thankful that she could walk through life as a robot. It was easier that way. She could be logical, intelligent, calculating. Emotions compelled her to do things that didn't make sense.

Like reach out to Ichigo.

Her heart, like a sponge, saturated with and seeped out the remnants of all the unsaid pain that radiated from this boy's body. Though he was wordless, she could clearly see the dark bags under his eyes and the slight twitch of his fingers that signalled to her a coiling, deep-seated anxiety within him that he was trying to desperately to combat. She believes that in this moment, he's trying just to not give in to the uncontrollable flurry of emotions running rampant within. He may think that he's fooling everyone with that calm facade of his, but Rukia knew enough about despair that to allow her to see through a different lens.

A lens that understood him, perhaps?

She wanted to understand him, to help him. If she couldn't help her sister, or her deceased mentor, she had to help those among the living.

She had to help this man.

'So...' she cleared her throat. 'I know I asked about school, but what about you?'

'Huh?'

'How are _you_?'

'Never better.' his voice dripped with sarcasm. It wasn't lost on her; she laughed, even, at how his defiance took form in such a childish way. He probably assumed that she was older than him, so she couldn't really help it that he was treating her like she was an adult trying to pry into his life. She supposed she was trying to do such a thing, but it was comedic that he was treating her with a unique resistance that was characteristic of a guilty child.

'You don't fool me.'

'I'm not trying to.' he crossed his legs. He leaned against the door and looked out the window. Now she knew he was pulling away from her even further. In a panic, she let one hand go of the wheel and reached out to him, but he avoided her touch and she only ended up grazing his elbow. Shocked, her eyes flew to him for just a fleeting moment. He sensed his error and defensively blurted an apology. 'S-Sorry. You just tried to touch me all of a sudden, and-'

She laughed heartily. Her brows knit in confusion, but Rukia had learned from years of powering through an emotionally taxing life that some matters were best laughed off. Her carefree reaction soothed Ichigo's panic. 'I thought we were passed that stage! We kissed, after all!'

He rubbed his face with both hands to try and hide his reddening cheeks. 'Yeah... I guess... I guess we did.'

'Hmm.' she puckered her lips defiantly. 'You make it sound like that was a mistake.'

'It wasn't a mistake.' he snapped. Briefly, he thought he offended her - and that in itself was the mistake. But having his first kiss with a woman that he was genuinely interested in, a woman that he _chose_ ; well, that wasn't a mistake. He was still fond of that memory. He was still, he realized with a little contempt, fond of her. Even though he was slightly on edge coming down from the adrenaline high of last night, he oddly found Rukia's presence comforting. Like he was safe in this little moving box next to this short, haughty girl.

'Well, you make it sound like it was one!'

'It wasn't.' he insisted. 'I really enjoyed, u-umm-' he stuttered from embarrassment. 'I mean, i-it was... you know, it was nice.'

Rukia bit her lip to prevent a harsh chuckle. He was acting very much like how she envisioned he would; an easily flustered school boy who trusted nobody with his feelings. She wondered if his protectiveness over his heart was a result of what happened with Kaien. Did he feel guilty? Did that significant event in his lifetime prompt a general distrust of people?

Or perhaps he already suspected that her initial intentions were not as pure as she wanted him to perceive them to be?

Nah.

He kissed her, after all.

'You took me by surprise.' she explained. 'When I asked if you wanted to kiss me, I was just teasing you.'

His heart sank. 'So you didn't want to kiss me?'

'I wasn't opposed to the idea.' _Anything to get you to trust me at the time,_ she thought to herself. 'But when you started to kiss me, I felt bad.'

'Bad?'

'Bad.'

'Why... Why would you feel bad about that?'

'Because I wanted you to like me. That's why I let you kiss me.'

His scowl deepened as he wracked his brains in an effort to understand what she was saying. Truthfully, he couldn't quite wrap his head around the implications of what she was saying. Damn this woman for being so fucking cryptic all the time. 'Why would you feel bad because of that? I don't get your reasoning.'

'It's not like I kissed you because I just wanted the feel of your tongue in my mouth.' she dropped nonchalantly. He scoffed at her lewd honesty, but decided that he was no better in his vulgarity. His pants were tightening right below the waist and he suddenly cursed himself for favouring tight-fitting clothes. Could she tell? Did she know that she had this effect on him? Was she doing this on purpose? 'I wanted you to like me. I used your... _eagerness_ -' she stifled a laugh and he clicked his tongue. '-to engage with you on an intimate level so that you'd like me.'

'Why do you care if I like you?'

A dilemma crashed right into her.

For her own personal relief, she wanted to be somewhat honest with this man who was obviously hurting and had no one to go to (or so she assumed). She didn't want her manipulation to add onto the hardships he was experiencing. Therefore, her original plan of seducing him to pry into a heart that would inevitably open up to her if she were to romantically involve herself with him, was going to have to be trashed. Besides, he seemed to be the type of person to pull away once he caught a whiff of bullshit. She couldn't risk him shying away from her.

And, though she'd never admit it even to herself, she was worried about him.

Yesterday, she caught a glimpse of real human suffering that mimicked what she remembered of herself when she first learned of Kaien's murder. Witnessing Ichigo's features transition from shock, to worry, to anger, until finally settling on a detachedness that was obviously a learned defence mechanism whenever life threw him another curve ball. That was the face of a man who suffered many heartaches. Seeing that painful humanity in him hammered it into Rukia's brain that he was human. No matter what he'd done in the past, he was still human.

Even if he possibly killed Kaien, she was still human.

She grit her teeth. Why on Earth did she find it in her to feel some empathy for Ichigo? She should hate him. Fuck extracting information from him. She should just want to take a knife to his throat.

But there was not a drop of hate in her heart for him.

Not even in the beginning. If she did, then she wouldn't have allowed him to kiss her.

 _He just looks like Kaien-dono,_ she assured herself. _All this emotion towards him... I'm just reminded of Kaien-dono._

'Rukia.'

'Eh?' she snapped out of her thoughts.

'Why do you care if I like you?' he pressed, and there was hope in his eyes. Her gut twisted sickeningly; he liked her already, she could tell. If she really wanted to, she could complete her seduction today. She could find out the truth, just like she wanted to.

That's what all this was about, right?

'No reason.' she breathed. 'I guess I liked you when I saw you, so I wanted you to feel the same for me.'

She tried telling herself that she just lied.

She wasn't quite so sure that she did.

His cheeks tinged a bashful pink. He looked out the window in an attempt to hide a smirk creeping along his lips. His heart jolted happily at her words, but he wasn't sure that he wanted to let her know that. He couldn't even really figure himself out. He was pretty sure that he wasn't in love with this complete stranger, but he certainly enjoyed her presence and was proud that he managed to score with her. Having said that, the intimacy wasn't something he felt like seeking out. As of now, he was perfectly content basking in her company.

'I like you.' he whispered.

'I know.' she smiled. 'I can see that.'

 _Which is why I need to go about this more delicately._

'So...' she cleared her throat. 'Has your problem been resolved?'

He visibly tensed. 'What are you talking about?'

'Yesterday, you just left my office without saying a word. You appeared to be distressed after receiving that phone call from your sister.'

'Oh.'

Ichigo swallowed.

It wasn't so much the memory of Yuzu laying on the hospital bed that sent his gut twisting into tightly coiled knots that oozed slimy, bitter, distaste - although, the fact that his sister was confined wasn't helping his emotional stability either. Nor was it the fact that Karin was probably worried sick every day without a parental figure she was willing to lean on. She had always been fiercely independent, often to the detriment of her own wellbeing.

No, neither of those things could be blamed for how much he wanted to break his own reflection in the mirror.

It was sweat-slicked skin and hot, raspy breaths. Long, fiery hair and selfish but caring, lovesick, grey eyes framed by thick lashes that would have been beautiful had they not been hiding a dirty lust behind them.

That's what bothered Ichigo the most; he sensed no genuine love in her kisses and caresses. To her, he was an idea of a man that she projected onto him. He was a blank canvas for her fantasies. She didn't really know him - how could she? She didn't even respect him enough to simply ask if he wanted to have sex with her. However, he supposedly he couldn't really blame her. She didn't have much respect for herself either if she had to resort to financial coercion rather than just be honest about her feelings. Was she that insecure?

And was he that pathetic that he went along with it?

He gasped involuntarily from the weight of his thoughts.

'Ichigo?' Rukia glanced at him. 'Are you alright?'

'Y-Yeah... Sorry.'

'Why are you sorry?'

'For just... zoning out on you like that.'

'It's fine. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to.' her voice was wonderfully calm. 'If my questions make you uncomfortable, just let me know. I'll back off now because you seem really agitated. But if you need to talk or whatever... I'm here. We'll talk.'

Once again, she put him at ease.

Why did that come so naturally to her?

'Rukia-'

'Oh! We're here.' she pulled up in front of the ABC bakery.

Ichigo saw Orihime from a distance.

A pang of pain hit his chest and he suddenly felt very sick. His visage paled and his hands trembled. His boss was ringing in some bread for a customer, so she was distracted and didn't pay attention to the vehicle right outside her shop. Ichigo found comfort in the idea that he was currently invisible to her. He wished it could stay that way. How could he face her again after last night? He felt strange about the entire encounter. He had finally lost his virginity; the right of passage to be a full-blown man. Why didn't he feel any sort of joy from it? Sure, he felt like a different person - but only in the sense that he didn't feel like a person anymore. And why not? A ridiculously good-looking woman wanted him, and he felt absolutely no elation from it. Was it because he didn't feel any love from her?

Did he want love? Was sex without love sickening to him?

Why was he being so weird about this?

He wasn't a man. Orihime deserved a man. She was so beautiful and generous and great to him. On top of that, she wanted to be his lover. He was, arguably, the luckiest man in the world. And yet he felt so alone, more alone than he'd felt in three years. How was that even possible?

He couldn't face Orihime, not today.

'You know...' he tried his best to hide the shakiness of his voice, but Rukia still noticed the vulnerability in him. 'I forgot that it's my day-off.' he lied. 'Do you mind taking me somewhere else?'

'Um...' Rukia arched a brow. 'Sure. Where to?'

* * *

'Taken care of?' Shiro was incredulous. 'By who? What the fuck?'

'I'm sorry, Kurosaki-san.' Nemu Kurotsuchi, the head nurse of the station, spoke in monotone. 'But I am unable to provide you with any confidential information.'

'Fucking hell. Could you at least tell me who came to visit?'

'Just your younger sister Karin, and your younger brother-'

'My brother?!' Shiro could almost laugh out loud. That weasel! Ichigo must have paid off Yuzu's bills. That idiot was working himself half to death between his job and school, and yet he still chose to fund their sibling's hospital bills? Although Shiro found his brother's selflessness commendable, he also found it to be stupid. Then again, stupidity was chronic in Ichigo's case. This revelation made Shiro respect Ichigo even more, but also detest him.

Couldn't Ichigo trust him to pull through just this once?

Shiro would have gladly paid for the bills had Ichigo just waited on his arrival. It was tough being a businessman; he couldn't just pull himself out of this round-the-clock commitment. But he would have come eventually. Why couldn't Ichigo trust that?

The angel investor sighed. Now, Ichigo was sure to be struggling with his own personal expenses. Knowing that knucklehead, there was no way he'd accept any help from his older brother. The dumbass would just power through with his stubborn head, rationalizing his poor choices and insisting that he brave through his self-manufactured life difficulties on his own like some tragic hero in a comic book.

Ichigo could be so stupid sometimes.

Shiro's cellphone went off, and he rudely turned his back on Nemu. He answered the phone as he hovered in front of the glass separating himself from a sleeping Yuzu. 'Babe?' he spoke in a fake, syrupy tone. 'What's up?'

'You were right.' Rangiku remained professional in her speech, which meant that she was still at the law firm she was working for. Her corporate companions were probably thinking that this was just a follow-up with a client. Which was true... sort of. He just paid her with his skills in bed. 'Shiba's case is under consideration for reopening. It was already deemed a closed case, so someone powerful is looking into it... That's what I expected. It turns out that I'm right. There's a big fish who wants a piece of this case. For what reason, I have no idea.'

'Big fish, huh? Who is it?'

'My contact wouldn't give me a name... I'm sorry. I'll keep looking into it for you.'

Shiro hung up. The bitch could yell at him later. Right now, he was seething. He didn't need a name.

He knew just who it was.

* * *

'This is fine.' Ichigo pointed to the corner of an intersection that seemed to be home to only office buildings. This confused Rukia, since he instructed her to take him home. This didn't look like a home at all. She did, however, know that there were a few apartment buildings a couple of blocks away. Did he not trust her enough to show him where he lived?

To Ichigo, he just didn't think that his place was worthy of being shown to this nice (albeit infuriating) woman.

Just the thought of returning to his bed after last night's encounter sent shivers up and down his spine. Besides, that dingy place of his was a cesspool for his dark thoughts and despair. He wouldn't want to bring Rukia into it, especially since she was a source of positive energy ever since he first met her a couple of days ago. He found a purity in her that he couldn't describe. He wanted to keep it that way. He didn't think that he could ever forgive himself if he tainted that spotless soul of hers.

'Are you sure?' she tucks her hair behind her ears. 'I can drive you to where your apartment is, you know.'

'You could. But I don't want you to. This is fine.'

'I see.' she pulled up in the corner and unlocked her car doors. They remained silent, unmoving, side by side. She hated to admit it, but she didn't want him to leave. She was worried about him and wanted to make sure that he was alright. She could sense something was off with him, but she knew that it wasn't her place to probe too far into it. On the other hand, Ichigo simply didn't want to return home. He feared that the familiarity of it would haunt him, that he would be sucked into a depression that he could sense was already creeping up on him. He thought that he had gotten better control over his mental health.

But genetics was more powerful than he thought.

He knew the risks he was in, which is why he chose to move away from his sisters in the first place.

He didn't want to drag Rukia into it either.

Still, he needed... he needed to let her know something. He felt as though he would burst into a million pieces if he didn't get it off his chest.

'Rukia, you...'

'Hmm?'

'It feels easier with you.'

'Easier? What feels easier?'

'I don't know.' he reached for her hand gently. She allowed him to give her a squeeze. Her sapphire gaze flew to him, where it was met with warm ambers crinkling at the corners. She inhaled sharply - she didn't realize how handsome he was.

And how so unlike Kaien he looked in that moment.

He looked like Ichigo.

'I don't know.' he repeated, his expression softening even more. 'But it just feels easier. After this car ride with you, my heart feels lighter.'

Her own heartbeat quickened dangerously. She wondered if he could hear it echoing, bouncing off of the walls of her vehicle. 'I'm glad to be of assistance.' she replied, instinctively putting her Kuchiki mask on to prevent this stranger (who she's supposed to hate with all of her being) from warming her any further.

He noted that she stiffened at his forwardness and retracted his touch. He knew it was time to leave.

But just one more thing.

'Rukia...'

'What is it, Ichigo?'

'You're a beautiful woman. If you don't stop seeing me, I... I think I'd really fall for you.'

He left, and she was alone in her thoughts.

She must have stayed rooted to that spot for half an hour, contemplating what was becoming of her relationship with the very person she was supposed to investigate. She thought of Kaien, and what he would have wanted her to do in this situation.

Would he forgive her?

He had to forgive her. She was only human.

She couldn't control her feelings.

Her phone rang. She was thankful for reality disrupting her haze.

Her brother-in-law was calling her.

* * *

Shiro liked lounging in his living room every evening with a nice bottle of red wine as Beethoven's finest pieces played in the background.

Tonight, however, was a special occasion. So rather than his usual routine, he skipped the fancy shmancy wine altogether. Instead, bottles of assorted vodkas were laid out in his coffee table. He held a single shot glass, which he replenished with whichever flavour he fancied at any point in time that evening. Though, he swore that they all tasted the same. It was only the scent that varied. Also, rather than Beethoven, he opted for a more contemporary composer; Einaudi. Einaudi was more lighthearted, a better option for a celebration as opposed to the gothically romantic Beethoven.

'You prick!' Rukia Kuchiki stormed into his living room unannounced, interrupting his relaxation.

He was, however, expecting her.

'How dare you put me in this situation!' she hissed at him, tanzanite eyes glossing with tears she was fighting back. 'That's low, even for you! Were you getting impatient, hmm?! Is this how you're going to force me into marrying you?!'

'Shh.' he raised a finger to his lips and smirked. Rather than answer her, he let the shot glass drop to the floor and pulled her into a crushing kiss. She struggled against him and refused to open her mouth. He didn't care. He picked her up, light as a feather, and threw her onto the sofa. ' _Shh_.' he reminded her when she gasped loudly, muffling her parted lips with one hand as the other took hold of her wrists and pinned them above her head.

Her wide eyes flashed with fear.

But only for a second.

She kicked at him with all her might, and eventually hit his stomach. He cursed and let her go, clutching his gut as he glared at her without serious murderous intent. Nevertheless, she treated this situation with all the alarm of a rabbit eyed by a hungry fox. She grabbed one of his vodka glasses, broke it on the table, and aimed the sharp edges at him.

'Rukia-'

'How dare you touch me like that.' she growled. 'That is not acceptable! I'll see to it that our engagement is called off immediately-'

'Oh, I wouldn't do that. Not after your brother just told you what's at stake should we marry, hmm?'

'You want us to get married?' she was shocked. 'Why? Why are you rushing into this? What are you playing at?'

'I just want to be close to you, babe.' he reached for her, but she wagged her weapon in front of his face.

'Don't come closer! Answer me!'

'I already told you...' he fearlessly grabbed the weapon from her and flung it onto the carpet. Before she could react, he maneuvered himself on top of her, this time making sure to pin most of his weight on her legs to immobilize her. 'I want to be close to you.'

'Get off me!' she threw punches at his shoulders, but he grabbed her wrists in his hands.

'I want to be able to watch you. To make sure you don't do anything stupid.'

'What are you talking about?!'

He leaned in to whisper into her ear. 'Leave my brother alone. Or I swear, I will end you. I will make you suffer. I'll make you my wife, and I'll force you to have my children. Would you like that, Rukia? Would you like to be mine? Would you like to be the woman of the brother of the man who killed your beloved Kaien?'

'Get off me.' she remained defiant despite the bubbling terror within. 'Get off me, now!'

'See, Ichigo's more fragile than he looks. He's lonely. He's emotionally unstable. Now, a pretty girl like you.' he tightened his grip on her painfully. She refused to give him the pleasure of hearing her suffer. She bit her lip to prevent any sound from escaping her. 'A pretty stranger like you is just what it takes to seduce a poor, isolated Ichigo. So I'm going to keep a watch on you, Rukia. I'm onto you. You think you can play my brother? You're wrong. If you hurt him, I'll punish you.' his grip turns deadly. She draws blood by her teeth. 'I'll make you regret going after my family.'

'You knew.' she spoke with a clenched jaw. 'You knew this whole time.'

'Of course I did. You don't know who you're dealing with here, babe.'

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **shirayukideathberry, RukiYuki, blissbeat, jobananasan, Cc** , **IchiRuki 4vr** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **shirayukideathberry** , Ichigo doesn't like asking anybody for help, and he doesn't trust Shiro fully. That will be explained later! I agree with your thoughts about sexual assault involving men as victims, which are some points that I want to explore in this story. Rukia and Orihime are definitely meant to contrast each other, not just in their characters, but in the way they make Ichigo feel. I'll be comparing and contrasting them quite a bit.

 **blissbeat,** the direction of this story will be very different!

 **jobananasan,** yes, Rukia knows that Kaien is related to the Kurosakis. However, she doesn't really care about that seeing as she believes that Ichigo killed her mentor. And still seeing Ichigo in person and how much he resembles Kaien was a shock to her. She's also trying to justify why she feels empathy towards a man she's supposed to hate. I'll be revealing Rukia's age later! You really nailed it with your commentary on power. That is exactly what I wanted to show. Rukia will meet Orihime!

 **IchiRuki 4vr,** Rukia never slept with Shiro! Don't worry, I never got the impression that you hated my writing.

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	7. I Can Be Your Bitch

Leaving Rukia was like hitting himself over the head with the world's most lethal sledgehammer.

The second Ichigo stepped out of her car, he felt the weight of her absence press down on his shoulders. Her lavender perfume away from his senses, he somehow realized that he was going home to a dingy apartment with no people and no colour. Being trapped inside that strange woman's vehicle was like taking a breather from time. She was comforting; talking to her, listening to her, looking at her - she put him at ease. It all felt so easy with her. She had no expectations of him, and yet she always managed to remain respectful of him (except for the occasional insult).

It helped immensely to know that Rukia was not at all intertwined in the different channels of his relationships. He assumed that she didn't know about his past with his now-deceased cousin Kaien, nor did she know that he was taking tips under the table from his beautiful but morally questionable employer Orihime. Ichigo considered, for just a moment, that even if Rukia knew all those things she may not actually care.

Rukia seemed to take him as he was. She was non-judgemental and honest; two traits that he almost believed were extinct in humanity. On top of that, she didn't inject herself into his problems. She didn't have a messiah complex, nor did she think to make his internal struggles about her. Once she sensed that he didn't want to reveal his thoughts to her just yet, she nodded it off and told him that she would be around if he was ever ready.

He wasn't ready.

But he wanted to be ready.

Would sharing his life's taboos with her bring them closer together in spirit? He wanted to get to know her, but she was hyperbolically mysterious to him. She appeared and disappeared as she wished without leaving him so much as a cellphone number to contact her at. Well, he supposed that he did know where she worked. But that punk receptionist (Renji, was it?) would probably give him shit if he showed up without an invite.

 _I want to see her again,_ he thought excitedly.

Ichigo has had crushes before; on pretty girls in class, on foreign actresses, on idyllic cprincesses in novels. They made his heart beat quicken for a short period of time and render him an awkward mess if ever confronted by any of them.

Rukia wasn't like that.

She made him feel a warmth that coiled, twisted, then burst into hot, hot heat that coursed through his veins and prompted his skin to hum for her.

He imagined that should he ever be granted the opportunity, he'd make love to her (not fuck her, _never_ just _fuck_ her) with all the gentleness she extended to him in her kindness. He'd kiss her softly, unlike the first time they kissed. He wouldn't tell her all those nasty, dirty things again either. No, this time, if he was going to tell her anything, he would whisper into her ear just how she made him feel. She had to know. She had to realize just how wonderfully alive she made him feel.

Would he tell her that he loved her?

He wanted to fall her. Oh, how he wanted to fall for her. He'd fall in love and she would make it so easy too. She wouldn't rush him into anything. She'd allow him to take the lead without awareness for the fact that to him, she would always have the lead. He wanted what she wanted. He was at her feet, at her mercy. She could decide what would become of him so long as he was allowed to be with her and only her.

He wanted to be with her.

He wanted to be hers.

He wanted love.

Ichigo caught sight of his apartment building and immediately snapped out of his daydream. The idea of laying down on the same bed where he lost his virginity just yesterday hit him like a sharp punch to the gut. He didn't feel like kickstarting those memories again - in fact, it had already started. Despite being as far away from Orihime as he could get, he could still feel her beneath his fingers; hot, soft, sticky - textures, smells, and tastes that he just wanted to forget. He hated the chain of events that led up to that situation, but what he despised even more than his bad luck was his body's eventual positive reaction to the stimulation.

Then again, sex was pleasure. So it was normal to feel all those things right?

How disgustingly primitive.

Ichigo shook his head to clear himself of these dark thoughts. Now he knew that heading back home was a terrible idea. There was no way he was mentally prepared to return to a scene that he hadn't quite come to terms with. If he went back home, he'd only end up damaging himself further.

Besides, Yuzu was still at the hospital. Surely, she'd want him company.

And it wasn't like he was working today anyway.

* * *

Rukia was shaken. After her nasty encounter with her soon-to-be ex-fiancé, she was both emotionally and physically shaken. Though she'd never openly admit it, Shiro's capacity to force himself on her seriously offended her, thus rendering him absolutely bloodthirsty for him.

How dare he manhandle her like that! How dare he, because he thinks he's _all that_ or perhaps because he feels some inherent authority over her because of who-knows-what. _Fuck_. It was infuriating.

The worst part was that he _did_ have some control over her now.

Byakuya called Rukia a while ago over the phone to congratulate her on a wedding date that she never actually planned for. She stuttered for a bit until he told her that Shiro had actually broken the news to him about this imaginary ceremony. Once that was said, it was easy for the clever, street-born woman to deduce that Shiro was brewing a larger, more sinister scheme behind the scenes - and this phone call from her brother was just a warning shot.

Since getting engaged to Shiro, Rukia knew that their relationship wasn't truly based on romance. From the very beginning, something felt off. She went along with it anyway because truthfully, she sought him out in order to get closer to Ichigo. At first, she only wanted to befriend him. It was he who took their friendship a step further and she didn't want to reject him for fear of him pushing her away. Additionally, she knew that she would have a better chance of getting to know Ichigo on a more intimate level if she were more closely tied to his brother.

Still, it was strange.

Rukia didn't think that there was anything wrong with her appearance. Growing up in the aristocratic society wherein people could quite literally pay to emulate physical perfection, there were certainly some characteristics of hers that she noticed were not as prominent (?) as those around her. For example, she knew for a fact that her breasts were small. S'alright. She'd live. Oh, and her height - she was painstakingly short compared to the general population, let alone the lengthy, model-types that floated on their sky-high heels. Well, Rukia could wear those heels too - and she didn't need to be tall to stand proud.

And she was very proud. Not just of her surname (which she deemed was a blessing she really didn't deserve), but of her accomplishments. To Rukia, her work was her life. So long as her professional portfolio sparkled, then the rest of her would mirror this glamour. If she felt good about her work, then she felt good about herself and that was all that mattered. She worked like a horse and she wouldn't have it any other way.

Except Shiro wasn't interested in women like her. Based on the background check she did on him, his love life was mapped by a colourful constellation of tenderfoot girls (they could hardly be considered women). Most of his girlfriends lasted a little over a week with him, and he held no qualms about flaunting public displays of affection with two different women on the same day.

It was a wonder why he was ever interested in jaded, bitchy (his words) Rukia.

Now it all made sense.

All this time, he probably knew that she was just after Ichigo. Retaining her as arm-candy was his way of keeping her close enough by him to be able to monitor her. Since she was getting closer to his younger brother, he enacted this stupid plan to get her to back off.

Strong holding her into a marriage that she didn't want.

Shiro knew that Rukia loved her brother. She would never want to disappoint Byakuya, not in a million years. So far Shiro to say that he was going to invest an undisclosed summation of millions into catapulting Kuchiki Corporations into the North American market, effectively promoting it into multi-continental status, after he and Rukia tie the knot - well, that was just despicable. Rukia could read the fine print. If she wasn't going to marry Shiro, then the deal was off. How could she do that to her brother? How could she sabotage a sexy deal?

She absolutely hated Shiro.

But what she hated more than him was the fact that throughout their relationship, she had actually held feelings for him at some point in the beginning. It was a fleeting period of pure connection, but it was a connection nonetheless. She found herself genuinely caring for her wellbeing, genuinely responding excitedly when he kissed her or told her that he was fond of her. Although that died down quite a while ago, the emotional experience still allowed her to take into consideration that he was a human being and that she could care for him in the basic way that humans care for one another.

She trusted that he cared for her too.

He obviously didn't.

She wasn't too hung up on it. Just a little sting, an insignificant nip at her heart.

She'd get over it.

Rukia sat up on her bed and buried her face in her hands. There was an ache in her shoulders that she was aware was somewhat psychological. She realized with great guilt that she had no right to feel bad about Shiro using her, for she used him as well for her end goal of getting close to Ichigo. Yet now that she was close to the melancholy teen, she found her resolve to avenge her deceased mentor waning.

'Kaien-dono.' Rukia winced. His grip on her was steel-strong, but his emerald irises were pitiful, pleading. It was difficult to find him threatening, even as he was physically hurting her. In her heart, Rukia knew that he didn't intend to scare her. And so she wasn't afraid. She could never be afraid of him, not ever. 'What do you mean?'

 _'My other self.' he repeated, and she swore that green glistened despairingly._

 _'What do you mean, Kaien-dono?'_

 _'There's another me. A me that looks like me, but isn't me. A me that does things, says things, **is** things that are not representative of me.'_

 _'Kaien-dono, why-'_

 _'I want you to know.' he let go of her wrist and cupped her face so that she had no choice but to really look at him. 'So that when the time comes, you can do what's right. If ever you have to do it - I want you to do it. I want you to be able to do it. That's why I'm telling you. If one day I should disappear, you know who did it. He who is not me, but is so much like me.'_

 _When Kaien's murder was announced, Rukia nearly lost herself. She remembered the sky falling and the land shaking and the air splitting so that she could not even get a breath of oxygen even if she gaped her mouth open like a thirsty fish. She was at school when she learned about it - she was only fifteen at the time. The principal's secretary interrupted a class that she was in. She was pulled out and put on the phone with her brother-in-law._

 _'Nii-sama?' she spoke into the receiver. 'Did I do something wrong? Why-'_

 _'No.' he whispered with a gentleness that shocked her. 'You have not done anything wrong. Rukia... There is something I must tell you.'_

Foul play was involved, said the media.

It was no accident.

Kaien did not fall from his shared apartment with his wife on the twentieth floor - he was pushed. When the police entered the apartment in response to an emergency call, some furniture in the living room was peppered with blood. From the balcony where Kaien was initially thought to have leapt to his doom was his legal partner, Miyako, cradled in the arms of a man eerily similar in appearance to her then-late husband. Ichigo stared wide-eyed, empty at the brick walls of the building as officers taped the scene of the crime and paramedics attended to an injured Miyako.

When questioned by investigators, Ichigo's demeanour was reportedly "absent." Like he wasn't there, or he didn't want to be there. He was oddly calm, not even showing a glimpse of vulnerability. He didn't cry, choke, or even look at the officers in the eyes. He was just... there. Unmoving, non-feeling, stone-cold.

Then he was accused of murder.

Rukia recalled how violently her blood boiled when a face was put on Kaien's murderer. She hated his stoic expression, his lack of visible empathy or remorse. Back then, she mistook his lack of emotional display as proof of a lack of humanity and therefore a determinant of the likelihood that he killed another person.

But today, she wasn't quite so sure about that.

Ichigo wasn't an outwardly emotional person, but she found it hard not to pick up on subtle cues that indicated that he was experiencing some turmoil deep within. He was quick to snap; an aggressive smokescreen to conceal his developing attachment to her (which she was starting to feel very guilty about).

And when he kissed her.

Both the passion and tenderness in his touch was certainly not that of an insensitive, unfeeling man. He was fiery and explosive, but careful and vigilant of how she responded to him. It was the first time she had been kissed in such a way. Shiro was her first kiss, and he possessed all the passion of a robot programmed to emulate porn star antics. Though he said and did the right things, she never actually felt that Shiro meant anything he did. Shiro treated women like afterthoughts; something to indulge when he was bored. And he was always, _always_ bored.

Now, Shiro wasn't a murderer.

How could Ichigo be a murderer, if he had enough humanity in him for both him and his brother?

 _'There's another me. A me that looks like me, but isn't me. A me that does things, says things, **is** things that are not representative of me.'_

Amber flashed briefly, beautifully in her mind's eye.

How sure was she that Kaien's warning was about Ichigo? Why hadn't she considered Shiro? Because the police didn't consider Shiro, and that Ichigo was present at the scene of the crime? It only made sense that Kaien was referring to Ichigo when he warned her about who may be responsible for his death.

 _'If one day I should disappear, you know who did it. He who is not me, but is so much like me.'_

So much like him? Now she really wondered if Kaien's warning truly was pointing to Ichigo as his killer.

'He's not you, Kaien-dono.' Rukia whispered to herself. 'He's not even remotely like you.'

* * *

'Onii-chan!' Yuzu beamed when her favourite brother entered her hospital suite. 'You're here!'

'Hey.' Ichigo's greeting came out more tense than he would have liked it to be. It was in large part due to the fact that he just caught sight of Shiro seated next to Yuzu, a hard-to-trust grin plastered on his face. Ichigo didn't hate his older brother, but he was wary of Shiro's intentions.

Ichigo was also sure that Shiro inherited their late mother's personality disorder, but he'd keep that hypothesis to himself for now.

'King.' Shiro called Ichigo by his loathed childhood nickname. 'Haven't seen you in a while. How've you been?'

'Great.' Ichigo responded through gritted teeth. 'Just peachy.'

'Peachy, huh? Seen any fine asses late?'

Ichigo stiffened at that question.

'Nii-san!' Karin punched Shiro lightly on the shoulder. 'Don't tease Ichi-nii like that. You know he's hopeless with the ladies.'

'You guys!' Yuzu interjected. 'Don't tease Onii-chan like that! After he came all this way to visit me... Ah! Onii-chan, don't you have work?!'

'U-Uh, yeah-' Ichigo caught his breath again. 'I just took some time off. It's no big deal. It'll be fine.'

'Well, I'm glad you're here, Onii-chan!' Yuzu was overjoyed.

Ichigo bit his tongue and sat next to Shiro. The younger of the men tried his best to ignore the other, but Shiro was relentless in trying to communicate. Shiro would specifically target Ichigo in the conversations by saying things like _What do you think, Ichigo?_ or _So, Ichigo_... then proceed to say something useless. Ichigo, not wanting to stress his sickly sister out as she was recovering, would be forced to answer to his older brother in a courteous manner. Shiro understood the situation he put Ichigo in, and he seemed not the least bit caring. After all, this was Shiro's revenge for Ichigo not trusting him to pay for the hospital bills.

The complicated dynamic between the two brothers aside, it was actually quite nice (almost therapeutic) for Ichigo to spend some time with his family, minus Isshin. Karin, if possible, had developed an even tougher shell. Not a shell that shut people out, but a shell that protected her heart. Karin was always good at remaining cautious of others while maintaining a healthy enough distance to get to know them. Yuzu, despite her condition, was as cheerful as ever. Ichigo couldn't be happier to see his sisters doing so well, considering that they only had each other. Shiro lived in his own place and Ichigo moved out of the main Kurosaki household three years ago.

Ichigo hadn't felt like he had a family in so long.

This afternoon was a good reminder to him that he still had one.

Time flew by and Ichigo forgot that he had ever lost them.

'Excuse me.' Riruka Dokugamine, a nurse on duty for that day, poked her head into the room after knocking. 'But there's another visitor about to come in.'

'Eh?' Yuzu tilted her head quizzically. 'Someone else is coming to visit? Who-'

Orihime Inoue stepped into the room.

Ichigo felt the hair on his arms stand up like they were being pulled by a magnet. His eyes widened and his mouth was dry. He swore that he was weightless; he couldn't feel connected to his body. He felt like he was retreating into a safe space that didn't exist, a dark corner in his mind where this woman couldn't reach him.

But the reality was that she could get to him, no matter where he was. She helped him immensely. She offered a helping hand when no one else would or could. He was indebted to her and she knew it. Despite backing up further and further into his mind, she effortlessly stepped forward towards him with a deceivingly innocent smile on her lips. A few seconds passed and a sting at his chest reminded him to breathe. When he did, his inhale was sharp enough to catch the attention of the vigilant Shiro.

'The fuck?' Shiro chuckled, eyes flying to his paralyzed brother. 'The hell is wrong with you, Ichigo? Do you know this babe?'

'Huh?' Ichigo snapped back to the present world. 'Y-Yeah.'

Karin raised her brows but gave a slow, approving nod. Who knew that her socially challenged Ichi-nii could be good with girls? Especially someone as pretty as this one!

' _Well_?' Shiro pressed. 'Aren't you going to introduce this lovely lady to your family?'

Orihime grinned at that.

Ichigo thought he was about to throw his insides up.

'Yeah, so...' the nervous teen stalled. 'Everyone, this is Inoue. I... She's my-'

'Kurosaki-kun and I are dating.'

 **. . .**

'What's wrong?' Rangiku drew lazy circles on her lover's chest with a long finger. 'You look like you're thinking about something...'

'That's 'cause I am.' Shiro gently pushed her hand away to turn to his side, away from her. She tried snuggling up against his back, but he stiffened at her touch. Her arms wrapped around him, but he pried her limbs off of him as well.

'Shiro-kun?'

'Not now.' he muttered under his breath.

Hurt, but respectful of her partner, the criminal defence lawyer gave him the space he so obviously needed.

'Are you... Are you alright?'

'Yes!' he hissed. 'Just shut up for a minute!'

Rangiku did as she was told, but not without enacting some semblance of vengeance. Without another word, she stood up, dressed herself, and headed straight for the door. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she hoped that Shiro would chase after her and apologize for his rudeness. Of course, he never did. Though she wasn't surprised, his blasé treatment of her hurt her further. Despite the internal turmoil she was experiencing, she slammed the door shut behind her and prayed that her evident offense at his actions would ignite just a tinge of sympathy from him.

Rather than feel moved by Rangiku's display, Shiro was relieved when she finally left his place.

Now he could think.

Fuck.

So Ichigo had a girlfriend.

 _Fuck._

Which meant that Shiro's earlier hypothesis of Rukia seducing Ichigo couldn't be more wrong.

 _Fuck!_

Shiro's manhandling of the Kuchiki heiress was completely uncalled for now that he knew that she was innocent of his suspicions. The poor girl was probably terrified of him, and he didn't blame her at all. Having said that, at the time, he truly believed that he was acting based on his little brother's interests. Even if he had feelings for Rukia, Shiro was ready to shove all of that out the window if it meant protecting Ichigo. In his eagerness to come to his brother's aid, Shiro realized that he may have severely damaged his relationship with fiancé.

Now what?

How could he explain himself to Rukia?

Then again, who was the mysterious "big fish" digging dirt on Ichigo's past with Kaien?

'Damn it!' Shiro cursed aloud. There was too much crap in his brain. He needed to deal with it all one step at a time.

First thing's first; he needed to fix his relationship with Rukia.

 **. . .**

'Kurosaki-kun...!'

Ichigo tried to not pay attention to the woman riding his dick.

After visiting Yuzu, Orihime offered Ichigo a ride back to his place. Once at their destination, she insisted that she accompany him inside. He already knew what she wanted, so once he shut the door behind them, he made the conscious decision to just get to it. No small talk. No preamble. No pretending like this wasn't a transaction.

Throughout the entire car ride, Orihime complained about how costly the hospital bills were.

Even though he detested what she expected him to do for her in return, he still felt gratitude towards her. He knew that really was in debt to her, and he better do a good job of paying it because if it wasn't for her, who knew what would have become of Yuzu?

Besides, according to the doctors, Yuzu would be discharged soon - within the next week.

In a week, this would all be over.

He wouldn't have to do this anymore.

'Kurosaki-kun! Kurosaki-kun!'

He feels like vomiting again, but decides to fight it. That wouldn't be sexy, and he didn't want to offend her by showcasing his clear distaste of her in bed. He couldn't understand why he was so revolted by the ordeal. He tried to rationalize it, but found that he should be thankful that such a beautiful, kind woman was offering herself to him. It was a privilege, really.

Really?

He ponders if it's because he has no control in this situation.

Control is power, isn't it?

He needs some control.

He shuts his eyelids.

 _'Ichigo...' Rukia rakes her nails down his chest and tightens around him. She peers at him through half-lid blues, and it is his breath (not bile) that hitches in his throat._

He can control his fantasies.

At the very least, he can find comfort in that.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **NieveDrop, gin, yesmin, RukiYuki, shirayukideathberry, jobananasan, Peachberrylove, Ghost iv, Anon, IchiRuki 4vr,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **RukiYuki,** he developed some feelings for her, but not to the extent that he would actually want to be in a serious, monogamous relationship with her.

 **shirayukideathberry** , really glad to hear that you're enjoying it so far!

 **jobananasan** , Rukia has a lot growing up to do as well. She, along with Ichigo, will change. Your hypothesis is wrong! Although Rukia and Orihime will be introduced to each other in the near future. You're right in that Kaien wouldn't want Rukia to go after Ichigo, but that realization I think has already hit Rukia.

 **Peachberrylove,** and thank you for reading! What happened between Kaien and Ichigo will be revealed later. Shiro is mainly using Rukia, but he's developed some feelings for her.

 **Guest,** I do not ship IH. I feel that the dynamic between Ichigo and Orihime can be useful plot devices in some of my stories.

 **Ghost iv,** the reason for that will be revealed later.

 **IchiRuki 4vr,** I hope this chapter cleared up what Shiro told Byakuya about the marriage!

 **Guest, Marry Me, Shinigami!** will be completed one day. As of now, it's on hiatus.

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	8. Attraction

'Karin-chan?' Tatsuki Arisawa was pleasantly surprised to see one of Ichigo's younger sisters waiting outside the open gates of Karakura High. The school day just ended and the students were busy making their way off of school grounds. It seemed as though Karin was waiting to see her brother, but Tatsuki winced as she realized that Ichigo hadn't even attended classes today. 'Are you looking for Ichigo?'

'Yeah.'

'Well... He didn't come to school today, so I don't think you'd find him here.'

'Oh.' Karin didn't at all falter at that piece of information. If anything, she had sort of expected that Ichigo wouldn't come into school today. There was something off about him last night, and she was able to foresee that he was going to retreat into himself once again - a horrible habit of his whenever he felt like he was backed into a corner, or just utterly powerless.

That woman Ichigo was with last night... What was her name? Orihime?

She was beautiful. And nice. As far as potential girlfriends go, Karin would have never thought that her brother would be attracted to someone like that. Not necessarily because that type of woman was out of his league (because Karin thought that Ichigo was a great guy who deserved a fantastic girl to be with, just one that was patient enough to look past his spiky shell) but because there was a serious lack of chemistry between the two.

If anything, Orihime's presence appeared to make Ichigo uncomfortable.

There was a general aura of discomfort around him when that woman sat by his side. Orihime wasn't a particularly affectionate person in public, but even without any physical forwardness, Ichigo seemed to tilt his body away from her at times. Or when Orihime left the suite to go to the bathroom, Ichigo's shoulders would relax and his features would unknot their tension. Karin thought that this was a strange observation; If Ichigo truly cared for this woman in the romantic sense, why did it almost feel like he was repulsed by her?

Karin didn't probe last night. It wasn't the right time. There were too many people around, and Ichigo wouldn't have been honest with her anyway. Even if she managed to catch him alone today, he still probably wouldn't tell her the truth - but in their isolation, Karin would be able to decipher the slightest off-putting change in his mannerisms.

At the very least, Karin would be able to figure out if she should be worried about her estranged older brother.

'Sorry to disappoint you... What did you need from him? Has he been treating you and Yuzu-chan well?'

'Yeah.' the young girl nodded. 'He always treats us well.'

Tatsuki smiled. 'Then are you just here because you wanna spend some time with him?'

'Mm... Yeah. Sure.'

* * *

For the life of him, Ichigo couldn't figure out why Orihime insisted that they fuck bareback. Maybe it was because she could feel more of him? Did she perhaps like the taboo, the danger, of unprotected premarital sex? Whatever the reason, Ichigo had had enough of it. He'd always voice his concerns to her, but she'd counter with every excuse in the book. Either she had forgotten to bring a condom, or she was embarrassed to go to the store to go buy some, or she was scared to consult a doctor for pills...

Enough was enough.

Ichigo was fucking scared.

He didn't want to get his boss pregnant. His life would effectively end. Despite being a high-prided man, he was grounded enough to acknowledge that he didn't have the means to support a child in his life. More importantly, he didn't want to be tied down to Orihime for the rest of his life. This casual arrangement they had going on was tolerable because he could see an end to it; when Yuzu got better, he would no longer lay in bed with Orihime. He would just have to grit his teeth and get on with it in the meantime.

'The fuck?' the orange-haired student grumbled to himself when he tried to make sense of the colourful selection of condoms on the shelf. There were so many different brands, sizes, and... textures (?) to choose from that he was overwhelmed just looking at it all. Whenever a wandering customer - who quite frankly didn't give a shit as to why he was looking at condoms - passed by, he would instinctively stiffen and pretend like he was more interested in the ceiling. He felt like he was being judged and it made him seriously uncomfortable.

He just wanted to get the fuck out of there.

Finally gathering enough courage, he nabbed what he thought were the most inconspicuous packet of condoms and beelined for the cashier. Throughout the transaction, warm, brown eyes were downcast and the faintest pink tinged his cheeks. Though he was aware that he was making a bigger deal of this than it needed to be, he couldn't shake off the feeling that the checkout person was staring at him with judgemental eyes. For some inexplicable reason, Ichigo felt that absolutely everyone knew about his night-time shenanigans with Orihime Inoue - and it was fucking with him.

'Would you like your receipt?'

'No.' Ichigo shoved his box of condoms into one of the store's plastic bags hastily. 'It's alright. Thanks, though.'

 _That was fucking embarrassing,_ he thought contemptuously to himself.

Just as he turned on his heel to leave, a sharp pang of pain at the pit of his stomach stopped him in his tracks. He shut his eyelids and cursed silently to himself. He hadn't had anything to eat all day. He was trying to suppress his hunger all day, but now that it was late in the afternoon, he couldn't put off fulfilling his needs for much longer.

Orihime had invited him for breakfast this morning.

He declined the invitation.

Then she texted him about lunch.

Declined.

He didn't want to feel like he was outwardly rejecting her because again, it was thanks to Orihime's generosity that Yuzu's hospital bills had been taken care of. Ichigo couldn't thank his employer enough. He felt indebted to her, which was why he was allowing their sexual relationship to continue.

But sitting down and sharing a meal with that crazy bitch?

Nah. He'd rather starve.

So he did.

Damn it.

Really, he could have eaten by himself in secrecy. But he didn't want to feel like he was going behind Orihime's back. To think that she had gone through so much for him financially just for him to ghost her when all she really wanted was his company in return... He wasn't that big of a scumbag that he would deny her what she had rightfully paid for anyways. He had an obligation to repay his debt.

After all, she was his saviour.

Right?

Ichigo rubbed his temples. Now he had a headache. _Perfect._ Precisely what he needed. Just another fucking problem to add to his list of endless problems. He even skipped school today to take a break from the claustrophobic atmosphere of his classroom, the people in it, the expectations placed on him by the faculty, and the endless number of fights that popped up on any normal day.

How naive of him to think he could enjoy some peace in solitude.

'Well, don't you look like you're having a delightful day?' came a sarcastic taunt from behind him, breaking his thoughts.

Ichigo jumped at the sound of that familiar voice.

He swivelled around and came face to face with an impeccably dressed Rukia Kuchiki. She was carrying a paper bag that smelled sweetly of freshly cooked shiratama dumplings. As usual, she was clad head-to-knee (never head-to-toe) in a crisp, black suit that seemed all the more midnight-deep against the gothically alluring luminosity of her pale skin. She seemed to almost stand too brightly against a dimming world, but Ichigo was aware enough of himself to know that it was because whenever he was around her, he was utterly consumed by her presence.

'Hmm...' she hummed when he didn't respond. 'Did you not want to see me again?'

'No!' he shook his head vigorously. 'It's not that. I just... Uh, I-' he stammered and she failed to stifle a giggle. That humiliated him further. If he was nervous before, his brain was now scrambling to gather coherence. 'I-'

'Ichigo.' she laughed. 'What's wrong with you?'

He was making her anxious.

She had spotted him at the cashier from the corner of her eye just moments ago. Initially, she was going to ditch her dumplings and run to her car, speeding away and never to be seen by him again. He had a seductively comfortable atmosphere around him that was both so like, and unlike, Kaien. She liked being around Ichigo and it was tugging at her heart.

She felt guilty for trying to get close to him for the wrong reasons.

She felt guilty that she had built him up to be a villain in her head, when he was honestly one of the kindest people she had ever come across.

She felt guilty for developing amorous feelings for a man she should hate.

She liked being around Ichigo - that was why she _didn't_ want to approach him earlier. She was becoming too attached to him; even to the point of a wavering heart in the course of her vindication for her now-deceased mentor. She didn't know what exactly it was, but deep in her heart, she felt strongly that Ichigo was not this evil person she made him out to be in her head. Actually, he was kind, brash but gentle, caustic but passionate, and oh, so sincere-

He made her heart tighten pleasantly and butterflies flutter wildly in her gut.

She knew that if they were to socially engage with each other again, those same feelings would become stronger.

That frightened her.

But Rukia was a woman who wanted to live without leaving any regrets. Unfortunately, it was a harsh truth for to accept that she would severely regret it later on if she didn't take the opportunity to be with Ichigo again. She found in him an electric companionship that seemed to alleviate some of the vindication and grief that she thought would forever fester inside of her. She didn't think that it would be wise to deprive herself of this adrenaline-lined connection; she might never find it again.

Still, she thought it was wise to proceed with caution.

She so badly wanted to ask him; did he do it? Or didn't he? What really happened? If he did kill Kaien, why did he do it? Was there a good reason-

 _No._

Rukia bit her tongue.

There could be no good reason for Kaien's murder. What was she thinking? Why was she even considering the idea? Was she seriously going to forget about Kaien's unjust passing because she was afraid of letting Ichigo go? Because she was afraid of being lonely?

A rush of mixed guilt and self-loathing washed over her.

'Ichigo.' she said again, trying to maintain her cool despite the flurry of emotions running through her. Thank goodness she had somewhat mastered the Kuchiki mask. At the very least, she could pretend to be unbothered. 'Why aren't you saying anything?'

'I'm just... I don't know, it's just great to see you.' he finally replied, a handsome grin playing on his lips. His hunger long forgotten, he now wanted nothing more than to stay rooted to the floor, standing in the way of this haughty woman. Perhaps his day wasn't so bad after all.

She shrugged her shoulders. 'I suppose it was a pleasant surprise to see you as well.'

'Why are you here?'

'Late lunch.' she raised the paper bag up to his face.

'Shouldn't a rich girl like you be eating out all the time?'

'This _is_ eating out.' she frowned. 'I'm not cooking for myself, am I? I'm not in the kitchen.'

'You know what I mean. Like, _out_. The nice kind of out. Sitting down in a nice restaurant.'

 _With nice guys._

He tried to shake the image of Rukia sharing a meal with a dapper gentleman off of his brain.

 _What am I thinking? There's no way I could be that guy..._

'Well, that does sound _nice_.' she teased, successfully earning a disapproving growl from him. 'But that also sounds like a lot of work. I get enough of that at the office. I need to go buy my food and get back as quickly as possible. Besides, I love the shiratama dumplings they sell here!'

He raised his brows in fond fascination of her. He didn't think that she'd be the type to indulge in such simple things. He never thought that she was arrogant, but she did come across as spoiled. It made her all the charming to him that she was humbly appreciative of something as mundane as local Japanese sweets. He thought that she was the type to only eat that imported stuff.

'What!?' she blushed defensively under his gentle gaze. 'Is a businesswoman not allowed to eat her dumplings in peace?!'

Shifting sapphire eyes and uneven footing caught his attention. Rukia appeared nervous. Anxious. _Scared_. Like a mischievous puppy who had been told to sit, but wanted to stand. He didn't fully understand why she was acting so strangely. Was she that embarrassed to be caught red-handed with her dumplings? He couldn't really figure her out. He hadn't really thought of her as a moody person (the opposite, really), but it was nice to see different facets of her personality... even this defensive, fiery version of her usually seductively collective self.

'What about you?!' she pressed, wanting to shift the attention away from herself. 'Why are you here?!'

 _The condoms._

Ichigo stiffened.

'Come on.' she reached out, catching sight of the plastic bag he was holding. 'Let's see.'

'Hey-'

'Come on, hand it over! What are you hiding-'

Ichigo moved quickly. He thought that in order for the bag to be out of her reach, the best place they could wind up being was behind her. So his arms wrapped behind her waist, pulling her close in a strategic effort to control her movements.

She squeaked at the unexpected embrace and one hand flew up to palm his chest to prevent herself from completely sticking to him. Another shot of adrenaline coursed through her veins. Blue eyes glossed and deepened with the satisfaction of physical intimacy with a man who she shared an unexplained connection with. She felt the blood rush to her face, but she didn't (in the heat of the moment) think to hide her face from him. Instead, she looked up, where she was met with mysteriously panicked (?) but heatedly smouldering ambers.

Ichigo, on the other hand, was both victorious and excited. He had successfully moved the condoms away from Rukia's grasp and now she would never know about them - but the narrowed gap between them with his hands padding her body's warmth sent his heart into a fierce gallop.

Then there was that generous humanity gracing her features.

He had never seen her like this. Her icy mask had toppled off, revealing an ambiguous sentimentality that he couldn't believe was meant for him.

No, really. He couldn't believe it.

He was confused as hell.

'Sorry.' he winced when he saw her expression. 'Did I hurt you?'

'No...' her answer was barely a whisper. She should have looked away, but she couldn't get herself to. She wanted, for some inexplicable reason, to stay this way for just a while longer - staring into his eyes, her body dangerously pressed up against his, and his clueless gaze relieving her of any social responsibility to _not_ enjoy her time with this charming man who she really shouldn't be charmed by.

'Rukia.' he loved the soothing way by which her name rolled off his tongue. 'Are you alright?'

She nodded.

A hand left her back to cup the side of her face.

His body felt like it was moving of its own accord. His heart longed for her, but his brain had completely shut off. He wasn't thinking. He certainly wasn't consciously going through the motions of making a move on this woman - who he _still_ didn't know all too well - in the middle of the convenience store. The pleasurable buzz dancing under his skin when she was around him was enough to puppeteer his limbs. He wanted to touch her, and not in the empty, lusty way he felt Orihime wanted to touch him. It was Rukia's warmth, not only her physical heat, but the beautiful embers dancing in her eyes that he wanted to believe so badly reflected passionate fires in her heart, that attracted him to her.

He felt so many wonderful emotions for her - surely, she returned even just a fraction of that for him?

He refused to believe that she felt nothing for him. Because if she really was void of any attachment for him, he was going to be heartbroken. And he didn't know if he could handle that right now. He didn't even know if there was much left of his stone-sealed heart to break off.

 _Why do I cling onto a complete stranger?_ he asked himself as he leaned into her.

It was awkward, nonsensical attraction that he was acting upon; a phenomena that she was permitting to bear fruit despite her better judgement screaming at her to tear herself away from this dangerous man.

Her eyelids shut and her lips parted.

His own honey browns narrowed, her image blurring as her scent, her warmth, her softness intensified his senses.

 _Rukia... Who are you?_

'Ichi-nii?'

As if struck by lightning, Ichigo pulled away from Rukia and turned around to face a wide-eyed Karin.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **FlynnChan, Touka Kirishima, guli-tzazui, Peachberrylove, IchiRuki 4vr, NieveDrop, RukiYuki, Kidzin** , and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **Touka Kirishima** , Rukia and Ichigo are actually the same age; eighteen.

 **Peachberrylove,** no!

 **Kidzin** , Isshin is in prison! He can't do much from there.

 **guli-tzazui,** Ichigo and Rukia are the same age. Ichigo has always looked, in my opinion, mature for his age at fifteen so I described him as a man.

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	9. Honesty Versus Mercy

**WARNING:** There is an IH M-rated scene intertwined with an IR M-rated scene at the end of this chapter.

* * *

'K-Karin!' Ichigo stuttered, totally panicked to have his little sister walk in on him embracing Rukia. He pulled away sharply from the raven-haired businesswoman to show some respect in front of Karin, but the damage had already been done; Karin had seen him being affectionate with a woman who was not Orihime - if he was going to wriggle out of this one, he would have a tough time doing so. 'What are you doing here?' he asked casually, hoping that some light conversation would gloss over his almost insignificant scandal.

'I was looking for you, actually.' the young girl replied to her brother, her gaze then flying to meet Rukia Kuchiki, who had already composed herself into perfect iciness. Her soft features settled peacefully still, as polished as her impeccable suit and shiny, pointed, stiletto heels. Rukia should have been the image of arrogance, but a humility beneath those strikingly sapphire eyes made Karin's brow quirk in interest. The middle Kurosaki child might have come looking for her brother, but instead she found his little secret.

'This is Rukia.' Ichigo gestured to the petite lady by his side. He noticed Karin staring at her, so he might as well take charge of the introduction before Rukia said something stuck up (though she didn't mean to, she could often come across as spoiled). It probably looked incredibly suspicious and inappropriate for him to be next to a woman of this caliber, so he decided to explain himself before Karin could jump into any conclusions. 'We met recently.'

 _Well, not too recently,_ Karin thought snarkily, _Since you were about to make out in the middle of a convenience store._

Karin shot her brother an arrogant look that boasted that no, she didn't believe him one bit, and that she'd stay around until he came clean. A long silence ensued, longer than what should have been comfortable. Rukia stood motionless, panicking inside, trying to conjure any excuse. She was usually a fast thinker, but it was hard to weasel her way out of almost kissing the brother of her fiancé... Now she was so thankful that she didn't get to meet the Kurosaki sisters earlier on. This whole situation could have been a billion times worse.

Not to say that it wasn't bad enough as is.

'So...' Karin pressed, unaffected by the thick air surrounding them. 'Did you guys meet off a dating site, or...?'

'The hell?! _No_!' Ichigo growled. He turned to check in on how Rukia reacted to Karin's implication, and was surprised to see that she was grinning and her eyes were twinkling. A delicate hand came up to cover her mouth when she began laughing softly. The sight of her relaxed and airy encouraged his tense shoulders to unwind as well.

Rukia was breathtaking without her mask of ice.

'She's laughing.' Karin observed, a smile of her own playing on her lips. 'So I guess I'm not far off. Am I right, Rukia-chan?'

 _Rukia-chan._

Normally, Rukia would have been offended to be referred to so informally. That learned, immediate reaction was a result of being looked down upon for years in the corporate world due to her sex and adopted status within the Kuchiki clan. Rukia's adolescence, especially after Kaien's passing, consisted of an uphill battle to earn respect; what should have been a basic human right was denied to her, but she was an ambitious soul. Unfortunately, all that fighting hardened her. It was difficult for her to open up to people, or to even see people as people. Every human interaction was a test of wit and strength.

It was a nice change to be able to let her guard down for a while.

Why was it so easy around Ichigo?

'We met in person.' Rukia clarified, a fondness (which was not lost on Karin) illuminating her already brilliantly blue eyes. 'We were strangers, but I was attracted to him from the very beginning.'

 _What am I doing?_ Rukia thought to herself without much care. _She's Shiro's sister. He might show her a picture of me, or talk about me, mention my name..._

Except cautious, by-the-book, calculating Rukia no longer gave a shit. For once, she was so over the manipulation and the sneaking around. She wanted to have a normal conversation with another human being about a person she cared about-

She stifled a gasp.

Her gaze met Ichigo's, ambers smouldering with excitement and shock at what she had implied earlier on about how she felt about him as a man. Did she care about this man? Did she look at him as a man, and not as a mark or a boy that was easily manipulated?

Rukia expected an evil villain.

Why is it that she instead found a benevolent hero?

Rukia had done her research on him before their meeting. She knew that he chose to move away from the main Kurosaki household because he didn't want to burden his family with the reminder that he tore them apart, at least from his perspective. Rukia was also aware that he was supporting himself while sending money to his sisters. He was barely making ends meet with his part-time job. Although his employer offered him a pretty generous salary considering the hours he put in, it was still only just enough for him to survive.

But Rukia refused to believe that Ichigo was committing to such a stressful life from the goodness of his own heart. She thought that perhaps he was trying to start anew after Kaien's case closed. It couldn't have possibly been because he was a genuinely caring man...

Rukia was wrong.

She was glad that she was wrong.

'Well, Ichi-nii?' Karin pressed. 'Aren't you gonna say that you liked her too?'

'I didn't think I'd need to say it.' he mumbled, trying not to scream in happiness.

'Anyway...' Rukia tore away from his hot stare and tucked a lock of hair behind an ear. 'I'm actually just on my lunch break. I should get going. It was nice to meet you, Karin-chan.' she winced a little as it was the first time in a long time for her using that honorific. 'I'll be on my way now. See you later, Ichigo.'

With that, Rukia waved the siblings goodbye. She glided out of the store gracefully on her heels effortlessly, like she was walking on water, leaving a trail of sweet-smelling lavender behind her. Long after she was gone, Ichigo was still staring at the path by which she left, somehow hoping that she'd pop back in and he'd be able to enjoy her for longer.

'Ichi-nii.' Karin broke into his daydream. 'What was that? Who is that woman'

He scratched the back of his head anxiously, avoiding his sister's stare. How was he going to explain himself? No matter what angle he approached this from, he still looked like the bad guy. And he _did_ feel like a bad guy. He felt guilty about not telling Rukia about Orihime, but he kept trying to convince himself that Orihime wasn't real. That this was just a temporary arrangement until Yuzu was all better. It wouldn't have to be real if no one knew about it, but this was just wishful thinking on his part.

Besides, he didn't actually think that anything could become of him and Rukia. She was too pure, too good for him.

If she knew about Kaien, she'd probably accept him anyway.

And that in itself was too much of a blessing for him, a forgiveness that he didn't deserve.

But he'd be lying if he said he didn't fantasize about falling in love with her.

'Ichi-nii?'

'Relax, Karin. At the end of the day, I'm still seeing Inoue.'

'But you're not even interested in Orihime-chan.'

'You're right, I... W-Wait, what?!'

'You're not even interested in Orihime-chan.' Karin repeated, stoic in the face of her brother's distress.

'T-That's... You can't really make assumptions like that, Karin.'

'It's not an assumption. It's an observation. Ichi-nii, you were kinda on edge when Orihime-chan came to visit Yuzu. I didn't wanna say it in front of the others, which is why I wanted to see you today... But you don't seem happy in your relationship with her. Then I saw you with Rukia-chan and now I see where all your love went.'

'Karin-'

'I already know, Ichi-nii. I saw you two just now. You like Rukia-chan.'

'Just slow down-'

'You need to get out of your relationship with Orihime-chan if you want to be happy with Rukia-chan.'

'It's not that easy, Karin.' he sighed. 'Besides, shouldn't you be angry with me?'

'Huh?'

'I... I'm not being faithful to Orihime. Shouldn't that make you hate me just a little?'

'Ichi-nii, you're just a normal, teenage guy.' Karin rolled her eyes. 'I expect that from boys your age.'

* * *

'Kurosaki-kun!' Orihime beamed when Ichigo entered the ABC Bakery.

'Hey, Inoue.' he cleared his throat, condoms on hand in a plastic bag. 'Sorry I'm late.'

'No worries.' she reassured him in a sweet, singsong voice, but its seductively cheerful quality was lost on him. He forced himself to give her a small smile, but otherwise tense in her presence. She waltzed over to him to plant a kiss on his cheek. He knew what was expected of him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into a deep kiss. Lithe arms snaked around his neck, bringing him closer to her. So close that it was sickening.

But Ichigo had found respite in his mind's eye.

He imagined that it wasn't Orihime who he was locking lips with. He was desperately recalling Rukia's warmth, softness to retain what was left of his willpower. He needed strength to be able to see this through to the end. The only way he could do that was to pretend to live out his fantasy of being affectionate with that mysterious, petite woman with the haughty sapphire eyes.

'Kurosaki-kun...' she whispered when they pulled apart from each other. 'I'm going to close the shop early today.'

'Oh... I thought that my shift was from five to eight? I'm supposed to start now.'

'I know, but I'm just too excited to see you.'

His stomach flipped. 'Excited?'

'Yeah!'

'Why... Why is that?'

'Well, I've just been thinking that you must be getting bored with...' she blushed a mad shade of red. 'With how we make love.'

His visage paled. Dread coursed through his veins, nearly paralyzing his heart, but there was no way he could show weakness now. If he did it, she'd just take the opportunity to capitalize on his uncertainty and force his hand into something far worse than what she had planned. 'I'm not. I think how we do things is fine.'

'You don't have to lie to me, Kurosaki-kun. I can see that you're not really into it.'

 _That was nothing to do with how we do things,_ he thought.

'Besides, I've wanted to experiment too!' she continued. 'So let's close the shop and get right to it...'

* * *

Rukia was unable to focus on her work.

She was practically useless in her office. Whenever someone was on the line for her, she spaced out even though she was being told very important information. Of course, she was taking notes as the conversation progressed, but her head was just not in the game. She found herself staring into nothingness, thinking about nothing, but feeling an electrifying mix of guilt and budding affection for a man _she should hate_.

Why was this happening to her?

Kuchiki corporation officially let its employees go by five o clock, although Rukia was known to stay until the wee hours of the night. As soon as the clock ticked to mark the end of the work day and she knew that her assistants were on their way out, she rushed to her private bathroom and took a long shower. She lost track of time in there, only deciding to leave when her skin was humming unpleasantly with the strain of being under hot water for far too long. When she dressed herself in her cotton robe, she looked at herself in the mirror to see not a woman, but a young girl who was in over her head.

Did she really think that she could avenge Kaien? Did she really think that she could hate another living, breathing human being so much that the possibility of falling in love with him was null? Did she think that she wouldn't feel things-

She shuddered.

She left the bathroom to get back to her desk. Her clothes were on the couch, so she wouldn't have been able to put a fresh suit back on right after the shower anyway. At any rate, she planned to just get changed and head home for another sleepless night of thinking about that orange-haired, hot-headed fool who always managed to strip her resolve. She was supposed to get to the bottom of Kaien's murder, but she couldn't help but want to move on from it rather than dwell on it whenever she was around Ichigo.

She sighed to herself.

She began to undo the sash of her robe, but the ringing of her phone cut her off. The tone was unique to signal that it was Renji from the concierge who was trying to communicate with her. Usually it was because she had a guest, one guest in particular; her older brother, Byakuya. She cursed under her breath. Of course he'd want to visit her when her hair was flat and wet and her suit for tomorrow (which she was just about to change into) hadn't been properly ironed yet. Whatever. There was no use in stalling. Nimble as a rabbit, she hopped to her desk and answered the call. 'Who is it, Renji?'

'Delivery guy.'

She pouted in confusion. 'Delivery? I didn't-'

'He's from the ABC Bakery?'

Rukia stiffened.

Then smiled subconsciously.

'O-Oh!' she feigned recollection. 'T-That's right. Send him right up.'

'I already did. He went straight for the elevator, I couldn't stop-'

Just then, the elevator doors leading to Rukia's office parted to reveal a disheveled Ichigo. Rukia dropped the call and her smile widened. She rushed over to his side, allowing herself to be magnetized to him in the privacy of her own space. He looked tired and agitated, but she thought that it may have been because he just had a long day of work. 'Ichigo, why-'

He didn't even let her speak. He cupped her face and did what he had failed to do earlier; he kissed her deeply, roughly, passionately. The crush of his lips against hers was almost painful, but she didn't mind and neither did he. His heart was beating thunderously against his chest - he thought that she might be able to hear it. Her hands glide up his abdomen to palm his chest, and he moves from her face to intertwine his fingers in her hair.

' _Ichigo_...' she murmurs between kisses. The sound of his name escape her throat in shaky pleasure jolts something needy within him, but he doesn't believe that she's aware that she has this effect on him. He grudgingly pulls away from her so that they can look into each other's eyes, and he's blown away by the fact that he's perfectly reflected in glassy blue surfaces. Ambers fall down her neck, to her collarbone, to where a peek of cleavage invites him to undress her. She knows what he's looking at and doesn't want to stop him. She whines for him, but he doesn't do anything yet. He's contemplating his next move.

He wants to be gentle with her.

 _'K-Kurosaki...kun...!' Orihime screamed in intervals as he fucked her. Her hands were tied behind her back, as were her orders to him. He knew it was because she wanted to feel utterly powerless beneath him (it was a turn on for her) but he couldn't quite get over how demeaning this was for the both of them. He felt like he was forcing her into submission, and he didn't like that feeling one bit. He expressed his discomfort earlier on, but she said that he wasn't being a man about this._

 _Oh, and that he owed her._

 _She reminded him of that too._

'Why are you here?' Rukia inquires, her fingers curling at the fabric of his clothes as if begging him not to leave. She was unable to shake thoughts of him away throughout the day and now that he was finally back within her grasp in the flesh, she didn't want him to turn his back on her just yet. Shiro had warned her about getting too close to Ichigo, but she didn't care about the consequences right now. Her feelings for Ichigo were unexplained, but powerful, and she would just have to ask for both Shiro and Kaien's forgiveness.

'I wanted to see you.' he answered, a thumb brushing over her lower lip. Without the height-boost of her heels or her intimidating suit, Rukia was even more beautiful than he had ever seen her before. She was looking up at him with such openness, such warmth, that all the anxiety rushing through him on his way here was silenced.

He had just hit a woman and he liked it.

How could he ever look at himself again?

 _'Harder.' Orihime commanded as he fondled her breasts. He obeyed, squeezing down on her mounds with just a little more pressure. She was evidently dissatisfied. She spoke again in a harsher tone, 'Harder, Kurosaki-kun, **harder**.'_

 _'I don't want to hurt you.'_

 _'I want you to hurt me.' she whispered in rattled moans. 'Hit me. Kurosaki-kun, hit me, hit me, please hit me-'_

'I was thinking about you.' Rukia's whisper is angelic and smooth. She reached up to take Ichigo's face in her hands. She stroked his face and brought him down so that she could kiss him again, softer, sweeter, almost chaste. 'Do you think about me?'

'All the time.' he replied honestly, hands diving down to undo her sash.

His palm stings.

 _Orihime is satisfied._

 _She pushes him on his back and slithers to between his legs to take him in her mouth. His thighs jerk, and a hand takes a chunk of her hair to hold her in place. He forces her lower, lower until he feels his length dip down her neck, and lower still. She gags, moans, she's enjoying this treatment because it allows her to believe that he wants her enough to sacrifice his personhood._

 _Oddly enough, he's beginning to enjoy it._

'No.' Rukia protests, grabbing him by the wrists to halt his movements. She wriggles away from him and when he looks at her again, he's sad to see that she seems unsure of herself.

Ichigo stops, dropping the sash. He's confused, but he doesn't question her. If anything, he expected her to tell him to stop. Perhaps it was a gut feeling. There was something about this woman that made him want to work for her, something about her that let him know that she wasn't going to be easy or all-too-willing.

Maybe it was because she was too good for him.

Maybe she knew that just as well as he did.

'Rukia?'

'Not yet.' she says, tugging at his shirt. 'Can I see you? Can I feel you?'

He doesn't give her a proper answer, but proceeds to take his shirt off.

 _When they finish, Ichigo scans Orihime's body head-to-toe. He's horrified to see all the bruises, the bite marks, the red, swollen flesh where he's gripped her too hard. He apologizes incessantly, but Orihime laughs his concern off. She gives him a sickeningly languid kiss, and he wishes that he could sink into the ground._

 _Although he's horrified of what he's done to her, he can't deny that he feels avenged - and that in itself makes it hard for him to look at himself in the mirror again._

Somehow, he winds up laying down on the couch with Rukia on top of him, settled between his legs. Her robe is still on, but the cloth on the shoulders have slacked. He's pulled them down to reveal smooth shoulders and bare breasts. His mouth waters, but she doesn't give him a chance to touch her. She undoes his belt, unzips his pants and his erection is in her hands. Her fingers are shaking around him, and he comments lovingly on her beautiful appearance to encourage her confidence. She blushes, and it almost ends him then and there.

 _Is this even real?_ he wonders.

She takes him in her mouth and he lets out a long sigh. She can't take more than a few inches of him in before his tip starts hitting the back of her throat. He wants to reassure that he doesn't need her to take so much of him in, but she does so anyway. He feels his length dip down her throat, and he hisses triumphantly that he's able to wash away the memory of Orihime with a new memory of Rukia.

This was his intention coming here. It was logical for him to be doing this. Orihime made him feel dirty and disgusting, while Rukia relieved him of pain. It only made sense that after such a nasty experience with Orihime that he seek comfort in the caring Rukia. Perhaps Rukia could give him the strength he needed to carry on with his sick arrangement with Orihime for just a while longer.

He's using Rukia to alleviate his suffering, but he doesn't have it in him to be strong enough to overcome temptation. She deserves better, but he needs her, and he can't find it in him to give her up just yet.

 _Ichi-nii, you're just a normal, teenage guy. I expect that from boys your age._

Ichigo's tired of trying to be holier-than-thou all the time. He's no better than the average scumbag. He was already using Rukia by being intimate with her while not disclosing the fact that he was sleeping with Orihime. If he had made it this far into his lie, he might as well see it through to the end.

He was supposed to tell her the truth at some point, but he didn't think that he could handle baring himself like that. He's revolting. He can't imagine anyone accepting him fro all his loose screws.

Not only was he a murderer, but he was now a liar and a violent man.

He hates himself.

He's numb.

He just wants to feel good again, and he feels best when he's with Rukia.

So for now, he just wants to find relief in her.

But by lying to her?

'Rukia...' he groans in approval, but his hands find their way to her shoulders to lightly push her off. 'Rukia, wait.'

She release him from her mouth and sits up, completely red in the face and breathing hard. He can't find it in himself to look at her properly. He turns his head to the side and pulls his pants back on, clearing his throat awkwardly as he does so.

'Ichigo?' she breathes. 'What's wrong?'

'I'm sorry.' he stands up and rubs his face. His back is turned to her and it hurts her, but he can't tell. All he can think about is not wanting to lie to her or lead her on or make her believe that he's an honourable man because he really is not. If she was going to be with him, she had a right to know that he was absolutely horrible. 'I have to tell you something, Rukia.'

She steels herself. 'What is it?'

He hates himself.

He faces her. 'Listen to me.'

She should hate him too.

'Rukia, I want you to know that I like _you_. I don't like _her,_ she's, she's-'

'O-Oh, no, _no_ -'

'She's nothing like you. She doesn't make me feel things that you make me feel, you're special-'

'Stop talking, _stop_ -'

'Things with her will _end_ and when they do, _I want you_ -'

'Ichigo, _stop talking_!'

He obeys.

A few tears escape her, but she quickly wipes them away.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **RukiYuki, jobananasan, shirayukideathberry, blissbeat, NieveDrop, Kidzin, IchiRuki 4vr,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **jobananasan** , no worries, I'm just so happy that you bothered checking in on my stories! I've also taken your suggestion into consideration, so from now on, there will be warnings at the beginning of the chapter about any mature IchiHime scenes.

 **shirayukideathberry,** Ichigo will not be like Rukia in **Am I Doing This Right?**! They are two separate transformations, different underlying themes, and will lead to different outcomes.

 **NieveDrop,** you'll absolutely see more of that dynamic! I want to try something different with their relationship in this story.

 **Kidzin,** he is, and I don't think he fully realizes that yet.

Thank you so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	10. The Second Truth

Rukia wiped her tears away, but not before Ichigo saw them roll down her cheeks. His chest hollowed and a numbness coiled violently in the pit of his stomach before exploding in a million different directions throughout his body. He felt like he was floating in the middle of a dark void with gravity pulling him in a million different directions. He was stuck, paralyzed by something far worse than his impotence; his capacity to inflict pain, the fact that he chose (for his own peace of mind) to confront her with a painful truth.

Somehow, he thought that was the right thing to do.

What was he expecting? That she laugh it off and they resume their stupid, irresponsible exploration of each other's bodies? Did he really think that she wouldn't be utterly disgusted by what she's learned, when he himself could hardly look at his own reflection in the mirror anymore?

 _Yes._

Yes, he had expected her to totally accept his vague confession and move on, _forward_ with him because he wanted to be with her. Rukia was fun to be around, and he assumed that she didn't know anything about him. Therefore, he didn't feel like she was constantly judging him, examining him under a moral microscope. She was fun to be around, which was why he wanted to be around her all the time. He found in her a woman that Orihime could never become; strong, understanding, and devoid of any manipulation. With Rukia, he felt liberated from the burdensome chains of his history. Yet now, he had burdened _her_ with one of those chains.

Deep inside, he knew exactly what he was doing when he chose to tell her the truth. Yes, he had placed unrealistic expectations on her with just a glimmer of hope that these dreams would bear fruit. But he _knew_ what he was doing. He knew that he had opened up the opportunity for her to hate him.

Now, as she glared at him with burning anger, he felt a euphoric sense of relief.

He hated himself for his naivety. Why would anyone, especially a stranger with no obligation to forgive him like Rukia, ever accept him for what he is? Surely this attractive illusion glossed over by her pretty eyes or silky hair was ugly, horrifying underneath the embellishment of their unexplainable chemistry. Rukia was still a human being, and she therefore had the ability to crush him if she wanted to. Why would she ever love him? Him, an insignificant teenage boy who always got into fights and who had a knack for standing out in all the worst possible ways.

 _I'm fucking disgusting._

In the end (is this the end?) he was oddly comforted by Rukia joining the ranks of the rest of society; hating him, ostracizing him, wanting him as far away from the communal whole as possible. She, like the rest, could be predictable and thus not special because his special people always ended up being torn away from him in the most gruesome ways.

 _'Hey...' Kaien approached an expressionless Ichigo, who was only nine years of age. 'Hey, little man...' Kaien wrapped his arms around Ichigo's trembling form and lifted him up. The young boy refused to acknowledge the presence of the older man despite all the physical interaction. Ichigo's mind was wandering elsewhere, to a week ago when he was trapped beneath the lifeless body of his mother who had obviously died while protecting him from something._

 _Everyone said Masaki was crazy._

 _Yeah, she was insane. But she was an excellent mother, a loving wife, and an all-around beautiful person inside and out. She was the centre of the Kurosaki universe, and without that centre, gravity ceased to exist. Asteroids blasted off in a million different directions. Planets spontaneously combusted. Stars were dying and soon, there would be no light._

 _'I killed her.' Ichigo squeaked._

 _'No, you didn't.'_

 _'I did. If I was more careful back then-'_

 _'Listen, little man.' Kaien maneuvered the tiny boy so that the pair could look at each other eye-to-eye, just like real, grown men. 'You are blameless. You didn't do anything wrong.'_

 _'But-'_

 _'No. You don't have time to blame yourself anymore. You don't have time to not have hope, you have to stand up and take that centre of your family back, Ichigo. You need to be strong for your sisters, for your father - for yourself. Be sad. Take your time. But eventually, you need to find a way to be happy and live your life. Live a life that your mom wanted for you, so that when you see her again, there won't be any tears. You need to be strong.'_

 _'B-But...' he sobbed. 'It's hard. I'm sad. I miss her. I...'_

 _'I know, little man.' Kaien embraced his nephew. 'It's not easy being a big man, is it?'_

Ichigo never got to be a big man.

He's just a boy, and he knows it. He's not strong enough to confront his problems head on like a mature adult, but he's more than willing to land a punch on the next guy who makes a snide remark about him. Ichigo is quick to resort to violence because in a way, it's all he's ever really known. His childhood was embroidered with happy memories, but as he grew older, he was thrust into a reality splattered in bloody disappointment.

He doesn't want to be a big man in a world like that, but he's too much of a pussy to end it all.

Because deep down, _really deep down_ , he wants to believe that it's all going to get better and it never does. So rather than wait for the next shit storm to smack him over the head, he takes it upon himself to anger the winds. He pushes people away. When they get a little too close, when he starts feeling things that could lead to a meaningful connection (that threatens, heaven forbid, to make him happy) he pushes that person away. Then he's back alone, in his tiny apartment that is too cold in the winter, into the predictability of solitude that he's fucked himself into the delusion that it's actually comforting.

When he's alone, no one can hurt him.

Except he hurts every day. He hurts when he thinks about Masaki, he hurts when he thinks about Kaien, he hurts when Orihime tries to be sexy with him and he has no choice but to reciprocate because if he's to be of any use to his sisters, he's going to work for that dirty money.

Why not ask Shiro for help?

Sounds so logical. Sounds like something he _should_ do, but he'll be damned if he gives that poor excuse for a human being another window to showcase his complete lack of compassion for others.

Ask Shiro for help?

The last time Ichigo did that was three years ago.

Big mistake.

 _'What... What are you doing?!'_

 _'Ichigo!' Miyako cried with Shiro's arm coiled around her neck. Her face was black and blue all over, and her limbs were nearing paper-thin proportions. It was a ghastly sight; a young, strong man jostling an older woman who was already weak from abuse. Not just the physical kind, either. Miyako's eyes were ashy with hopelessness. She no longer had the will to fight off her assailant, but she did have a spark left in her that called out to the only saviour she knew._

 _Her nephew, Ichigo._

 _'Ichigo!' she choked out. 'Ichigo, please-'_

 _'Shiro!' Ichigo yanked the woman out of his brother's arms and seized his sibling by the collar of his shirt. 'I said, what are you doing?!'_

 _'Getting rid of your problems!' Shiro hissed back, the golden flecks of his gaze flashing dangerously. 'This bitch is no good for you!'_

 _At those words, Miyako whimpered in the background. Though Ichigo couldn't see her from behind him, he knew that she was crushed by the accusation that she was a burden on his shoulders. This fuelled the anger he held towards his brother even more, because although Shiro claimed he wanted to help, his actions were only aggravating an already delicate situation._

 _'Fuck you, Shiro.' he spat out and felt an overwhelming high of defiance._

 _That was the first time that Ichigo stood up to his brother._

 _His well-meaning, but morally questionable brother._

 _Shiro was caught off-gaurd. It was obvious that Ichigo's resistance hurt him, but Shiro was never one to admit to pain. Instead, his brows furrowed and his mouth contorted into a menacing snarl. Ichigo half expected him to take a bite out of him, but what was more biting were Shiro's next words._

 _'Fine. Fuck you, too. But mark my words, you dumb shit; one of these days, either you or Kaien will end up dead.'_

In hindsight, maybe Ichigo should've listened.

Except he couldn't, for the life of him, agree with his brother's methods. Perhaps Ichigo shouldn't have meddled in Kaien and Miyako's relationship, but back then, he strongly felt that it was the right thing to do. Miyako needed another man in her life, one that was a pillar of support rather than a dark force encroaching on her vitality. When given the offer to be that man, Ichigo didn't refuse. After his mother's passing, he took an oath to protect as many people as he could; protecting Miyako fell under that umbrella of "all he could."

But maybe, if Ichigo hadn't involved himself...

 _'Oyaji!' Ichigo lost his shit. His father was being blasé about a familial situation that should have induced more interest in him. Instead, Isshin was as cool as a cucumber of his dismissal of Kaien and Miyako's marriage. 'Kaien's always been there for us! How can you just sit back and let this happen-'_

 _'Look.' Isshin glared at his son. 'I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's their problem, and you shouldn't have stuck your head in where it doesn't belong in the first place! Stay out of their lives, Ichigo. Stop seeing Miyako, stop-'_

 _'When O-fukuro died, they were their for us! They stepped in for me, for Karin, for Yuzu, while **you** were busy sticking your head in the dirty, crying about your wife and forgetting that you had children to care for!'_

 _'Ichigo, shut up!' the older man growled and banged his fist on the kitchen counter. 'Just shut up! We're not having this conversation! I'm not going to butt in where I don't belong, and neither should you! Now never, ever bring Kaien or Miyako-chan up ever again! They have their lives, and we have ours! I'm staying clear of trouble, son, and so should you!'_

'I'm sorry.' Ichigo apologized, not just to Rukia, but to all the ghosts of those he had wronged. 'I didn't want to hurt you.'

'Oh, fuck you.' Rukia hissed back, bringing her knees up to her chest. Her arms wrapped protectively around her lower limbs and she glared up at the orange-haired high school student with a deadly resentment.

Her heart had just been broken, but she wasn't about to admit that. For the first time since Kaien left this world, her heart had been ripped out of her and crushed into ash. The physical pain of having loved and lost was too much for her to remain composed, even if she was the heiress to the Kuchiki empire. There were some troubles that simply could not be masked by ice.

'Rukia-'

'Stop.' she raised a hand as she felt the unmistakable sting of tears at the back of her eyeballs. 'Just stop, OK?'

'Please just listen!' he was exasperated. 'Listen to me, Rukia. Just give me a chance to explain!'

He didn't know why he was being this way.

He wanted to push her away. So now, when she was obviously distancing herself from him like he wanted, why was he so frightened of losing her? He tested her. He wanted to see if she could handle the unpredictable nature of life, and he wanted to hit her with the full force of betrayal because if she could survive that, if she could accept that, then she could accept him because he was one big bundle of disappointment. If she could handle pain, then she could handle him. And he wanted her to handle him, because he hoped that she would be the one person who wouldn't leave him.

Now he sees the ridiculousness of it all.

If someone was being pushed away, why wouldn't they leave? If he was going to hurt her, why _wouldn't_ she exercise her right to bid him farewell?

If he liked her as much as he thought he did, why would he knowingly hurt her?

Because it was only fair.

He would end up hurting her either way because _he fucking sucked_. That was the truth of the matter. He was messed up in the head, he made horrible decisions that put him in this impossible situation of being his boss' whore and his sisters' provider, and this monstrous package of issues made for a problematic person.

If Rukia wanted to pursue a long-term relationship with him, she would be privy to these difficult situations. He didn't believe that she deserved that. Heck, she deserved a much better man than he could ever become but he could feel in his heart's eye that she felt something for him just as he felt for her.

So why not give this a chance?

Give what a chance? He assumed that she was being open with him, that he knew all there was to know about her. She had a respectable job, was used to a life of grandeur but had no qualms enjoying the simpler things, and she had a nasty temper. On the other hand, what exactly did she know about him? That he was still in school, sure - but did she know about Orihime? About his struggling financial situation?

About Kaien?

The invisible grip of regret couldn't let him go and lead a normal life, or have a decent relationship with a woman he found himself genuinely falling for.

Every person had a story. It just so happened that Ichigo's sucked. Horrifying, even.

But she deserved to know. Even if it hurt her now, it would hurt her more in the long run if he kept quiet about everything while this random relationship turned into something more serious.

Ichigo had many skeletons in his closet. Which was fine. He couldn't sleep at night, anyway. He didn't mean a little rattling of bones in the middle of the pitch black night.

But Rukia shouldn't have to be kept in the dark. She was light; the only door yet to be slammed in his face. He was aware that it was nothing short of crazy to view her as some sort of idealized Venus, but she was so _different_ and comfortable to be around that he never wanted to let her go. For once, he felt like he was not necessarily needed; he was just wanted.

Rukia could stand on her own, and she most certainly could fight her own battles. She didn't need to beg him to be around her, he wanted to do so of his own volition. It seemed to him that she was the only person in his life who didn't have any real expectations of him, and thus everything they did was inconsequential. Nothing they did with each other seemed to bother her, and it certainly didn't bother him. Their time together was a conglomeration of arousing lip locking, annoying banter, and prolonged gazes. Rukia was a generous pocket of time in his otherwise tumultuous life. It was so easy with her. No hurt or fear or consequences...

Until he started developing real feelings for her, which didn't take long - what took long was his acceptance of that fact.

Her image blossomed randomly the night of the same day that they met, and kissed. He still remembers the beginnings of desire burning in his loins, and how her fragrance was so clearly imprinted on his senses that it almost seemed like she was right there with him in the shower when he tended to his needs. He felt a tinge of guilt for thinking about her that way, and the ensuing embarrassment when he saw her again.

But then there was more to her than their first raunchy kiss, and he found himself actually liking her company. His one-dimensional attraction to her evolved into a more magnetizing pull, that he was drawn to her smile and her laughter, until he came to a point where he had actually memorized things she's said, replaying them over and over in his head until he physically ached from her absence.

His hardened rule of not letting people within a certain radius of him faltered.

He wanted to be closer to her.

He wanted to fall in love with her, and for her to fall for him. How would he start doing that? Even if he wasn't so sure that he loved her right now, he would start treating her with love.

With love came respect.

He needed, out of respect, to be honest with her. He needed to lay himself out now for exactly who he was without fear because genuine lovers _do not fear each other_ no matter how ugly they can become. They love each other unconditionally, and it's not that they see past the disgusting bits and pieces of one another, but they accept the imperfect picture with open arms.

At least that's what Ichigo liked to think. Perhaps because this belief meant that if Rukia was angry with him, the onus was on her; she should be more accepting, she should be more understanding of him and if she wasn't, then she wasn't a good enough candidate to be pursued anyway.

But he knows that's bullshit.

He's the one who isn't good enough, and he needs to be good enough. Despite Rukia's rage, he still strongly believes that honesty is the first in becoming that better man; one that Rukia can be proud to hold onto and rely on. He's lost her trust, but he'll do anything to regain it. He loves her, even if she could never love him back. So even if she ends up chucking him away in the end, he wants to make her happy, and he knows that when they're together, she is happy.

Even if he doesn't end up with her in the end, he wants to just be happy with her for a little while longer. Even if it hurts to know that he'll never be good enough, it's enough for him to know that for the duration that they'll be together, she'll be happy.

If she allows it, he'll be the best lover he can.

He knows that women want anyway; perfect man - handsome face, longing in his gaze, and complete submission.

Baring the truth for her feels right.

It is submission.

'Fine!' Rukia laughed without humour. 'Since you're here anyway, explain yourself!'

'I kissed you before I did anything with her.' Ichigo knelt down and looked up at her with pitiful eyes. He lowered himself so that she is physically on a higher level than him, so that this implication of dominance calms her just a bit. 'The night of the day we met, I thought about you. I wanted to see you again. But then... This girl that I know, she comes into my apartment and she, she... We just talk.'

'Move this story along!' she barked, her hands clenching into fists. Angry tears pooled at her reddening rims, but they refused to fall. 'Hurry the fuck up before I change my mind, Ichigo.'

'Remember when I was here? When I delivered the pastries for your meeting? Remember that call I got from my sister?'

'What of it?!'

'I just... I needed help, and the girl helped me out, and...'

 _I fucked her as a thanks for paying Yuzu's bills._

'Ichigo, what?!'

'The girl was there for me.' Ichigo bit out, his heart beating thunderously. He knew he was being vague, but he still couldn't find it in him to admit to what he had done. Rukia deserved the truth, but he was a shitty person. He was so embarrassed by what he'd done that he couldn't even acknowledge it. 'The girl helped me get through the situation, one thing led to another, and we just... I slept with her.'

'What, so I'm supposed to be cool with it because it was a one-time thing?!'

'It wasn't a one time thing.' his voice was barely a hum. 'I was with her again, the next day. And the next, and today-'

'Stop!' she meant to roar, but it came out as a squeak. Her tears fell, and her chest was rising and falling heavily. She was breathing through her nose, and her mouth tried to seal itself except her bottom lip was quivering with emotion. 'Ichigo, just... You're so cruel, why are you telling me this? Why not just stop seeing me?'

'Because I want you.' he felt his own heart tighten at seeing her so upset. It felt so wrong to see Rukia cry. It made him want to reach out and hold her, but he knew that his affection was the last thing she wanted right now. 'I don't like that girl, Rukia. I like you, and I know you hate me, but I want to do right by you. I want to be with you. I want you to like me-'

'I already did.' she tried to be venomous, but she sounded more hurt than anything. 'I like you, don't you get it?! That's why I kissed you today, why I haven't kicked you out yet. I wanted you to say something that would make sense, but you just sound like a prick right now. You're just like-'

 _Your brother._

She bit her tongue.

Ichigo let that go. 'Rukia, I'm a stupid bastard, OK? I hurt you. I'm sorry. I want to make it up to you. Tell me what to do, I'll do anything.'

'Tell me the truth.' she demanded. 'Tell me why you keep seeing me.'

'Because I like you.'

'And are you going to keep seeing her?'

'No.' he smiled tensely. Yuzu was going to be discharged tomorrow and Ichigo had no intention of returning to the ABC Bakery. He wasn't going to have to deal with Orihime ever again. 'No, that's done. It's over. I-'

'Why did it take so long to be over?'

'I was trying to be nice.'

'You're a bastard, that's what you are.' she grit her teeth. ''So, what else?' she chuckled bitterly. 'What else should I know about you?'

Now is his chance to lay it all at her feet.

Complete submission.

The truth, nothing but the truth.

Ugly, visceral truth.

'I killed somebody.' he whispered. 'He was my cousin; the best and worst man I've ever known. Just not worse than me.'

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story! **NieveDrop** thought up a large part of the plot, so most of the storyline is credited to her!

This story is actually more difficult for me to write than I thought it was going to be. I'm struggling to wrestle with this perspective. I keep writing and erasing. It takes me hours to finish a fraction of a chapter for this story because I keep wondering if I'm getting into Ichigo's head properly.

Thank you to **shirayukideathberry, blissbeat, Peachberrylove, RukiYuki, IchiRuki 4vr, FlynnChan, Kidzin, NieveDrop, jobananasan,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **shirayukideathberry** , the IH scenes will stop at some point! I hope that the exploration of Ichigo's feelings in this chapter clears some of your questions up. No worries, I don't think you were being aggressive at all!

 **blissbeat** , I think part of it is that he feels dirty after sex with Orihime, and showering no longer takes this metaphorical grime off of him. He wants to feel like a person again, and Rukia makes him feel like a real person.

 **Peachberry** , I hope the partial reveal on what went on between Ichigo and Kaien was not disappointing for you!

 **Dichotomy** , your observation doesn't affect how I view my writing in this story.

 **IchiRuki 4vr,** Rukia's feelings will be explored later!

 **NieveDrop** , no, it doesn't, although I think that they are different insofar as Shiro plays women for fun whereas Ichigo does so to self-medicate feelings of inadequacy and because he believes that maintaining his relationship with Orihime is better for the welfare of his sisters. Rukia does not know about Rangiku. Rukia is in a bad situation right now, but she'll get out of it soon!

 **jobananasan** , I hope that this chapter clears up some of your questions as to why Ichigo shoulders his problems alone. I know that Ichigo is using Rukia, but he himself is being used by people around him. That's certainly not an excuse for how he's handling his relationship with Rukia, but what I really want to highlight in this story is that he is, in so many respects, still a child. He's struggling to be a man even though the men in his family have been horrible examples. LMAO I died with your Listerine comment! Karin will be a very important character in this story. She's definitely going to be a mature enough teenager.

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	11. The Third Truth

Rukia's breath hitched in her throat.

Ichigo had just confessed to killing Kaien, and she didn't expect it to knock the wind right out of her. For three years, she had envisioned this very moment. She thought that it would happen within the confines of an interrogation room, with her confronting an orange-haired punk with nothing but ice behind deceivingly smouldering chestnut browns. She thought that it would take hours - no, maybe even days - to get this confession. She thought that she'd have to methodically pry it out of him. If seduction didn't work, perhaps coercion or _violence_.

There was no stone she wasn't willing to turn over in the name of avenging her late mentor.

She had dreamt of this moment for so long. She fantasized about how thick the air would be, how relieved she'd feel, how glorious it would be to bask in the justice of truth, flames blazing in the background and trumpets sounding up in the heavens. She'd feel at ease, and Kaien's rumbling ghost would smile down at her as Ichigo stood behind steel bars.

But this wasn't at all like that. Her picture perfect dream couldn't have been more wrong.

She felt broken.

Utterly broken.

She was torn between the love she felt for her mentor, and the obligation to avenge him that was consequential of that very admiration, versus the blossoming buds of affection she felt for this teenage heartbreaker who was obviously more work than what most people would be comfortable with. How is it that such a troubled, innocent-eyed Ichigo turned out to be the murderer of his cousin? Rukia couldn't fathom it.

'Why?' she asked, her voice shaky with emotion. 'Why did you do it?'

'I thought I was doing the right thing.' Ichigo answered, his gaze never once leaving her tearful, liquid sapphires.

Rukia swallowed hard. It was difficult to imagine this man hurting - let alone killing - anybody. He was kind, awkwardly honest, and the heart he wore on his sleeve was swollen with years of untold pain. It was obvious that the story of Kaien's murder could not be told without great guilt on Ichigo's part, and that in itself was enough for Rukia to question why she wanted to back him up into a corner in the first place.

Kaien's murderer wasn't a cruel, ruthless bastard.

He was just a teenage boy on the verge of crumbling into nothingness.

Rukia's heart ached for him.

It shouldn't, but it did.

And then she was furious.

She was pissed as hell that she didn't understand what the fuck was going on. Oh, and she thought she was one step ahead of the game all this time. She thought she had everything figured out. Well, why wouldn't she? She had used every ounce of intelligence in her, mobilized every resource available, to try and piece together what had happened.

It all seemed so straight-forward; Her beloved mentor was murdered in cold blood by his cousin, and Isshin took the fall.

Is that not what happened?

What happened?

'What do you mean?' she pressed while bursts of anger ricocheted within her. 'How could you have been doing the right thing? How do you think that killing is at all justifiable?'

 _He was a good man,_ she wanted to add.

Good thing she held her tongue.

'I loved Kaien.' Ichigo whispered. 'He was more of a father to me than my actual father. Whenever I needed him, he was always there for me. He was so kind to me, my family... But it was another story altogether with his wife.'

Rukia's hands clenched into fists.

Her heart sunk.

'She showed up one time, when I was fifteen.' he continued. 'Good thing the old man took Yuzu and Karin to their friend's sleepover that night, so no one else was home besides Shiro and I. Shiro's my older brother, by the way. Miyako's face was all beat up. She was bleeding from her mouth and... Well, she was in bad shape. She said that Kaien beat her.'

 _He wouldn't do such a thing_ , she snapped to herself defensively.

But she listened anyway.

Something about Ichigo made her want to listen.

'Shiro and I told our dad about it. I mean, we had to explain why Miyako was staying over at one of clinic rooms and why she was bandaged up. He told us to send her home in the morning and forget about that night.'

'And... Did you?'

'Shiro did. I didn't. I kept in touch with Miyako, and she'd run to me whenever Kaien was being violent.'

'Wait!' Rukia interjected. 'Why didn't your father want to help her?'

Ichigo's lips fell into a tight line. Smouldering ambers gazed up at her, studying her, gauging how much he could tell. But then he realized that he had only a few minutes ago hurt her by withholding the truth, so he bit the bullet and decided that he was going to get through this difficult conversation with total transparency. 'Well... There's something else you should know about me.'

'What is it?'

'Are you ready?'

She tilted her head playfully despite the situation before reaching out to stroke the side of his face. _Fuck_ , his skin felt so invitingly warm against her palm. He subconsciously leaned into it, a pair of scorching hazels never leaving her.

As if burned by him, she pulled back sharply.

 _Damn it, Kuchiki Rukia... What was that?! What are you doing?!_

'I'm ready, Ichigo.' she managed.

'Oyaji's side of the family, the Shibas... We have this thing...' he tapped his temple. 'Up in here. It's a problem. When we got older, we burn a fuse or something. We snap. We hit, we're violent.' he tore his reddening eyes away from her and glued them to the expensive red carpeting of her office floor. 'It's a mental disease.'

'Ichigo...'

'No one is safe. Kaien was good.' he looked up to stare right at her to show his sincerity. 'He was the best. If it can happen to him, most definitely it will happen to me. Who knows, maybe it's already started. I get into fights a lot. I have a short temper. Maybe that's why I didn't back down when Kaien started coming to our house, demanding to see me, pushing me up against the wall and really getting into my face. I was a big guy for my age, so I got into it with him right back. One thing led to another, and Miyako wedged herself between us to stop us from beating each other to death. In the heat of the moment, she declared that she had fallen in love with me.'

Rukia tried not to jolt in her seat.

She flinched.

 _Any woman would fall in love with you_ , she thought half-miserably.

'Kaien stormed out of the house. Oyaji was scared, so he took Karin and Yuzu to a nearby hotel to hide. When we were left alone at the house, Shiro attacked Miyako, thinking that he could scare her away from us but all he really ended up doing was pushing her to rely on me even more. I offered to accompany Miyako back to their place to pick up her things, and Kaien was waiting for us there.'

'And then...?'

'He attacked us with a knife.'

Rukia's hand flew up to cover the shocked _O_ of her mouth. Tears prickled her eyes for two very heavy reasons; 1) her perfect mentor was apparently less than perfect behind closed doors and 2) Ichigo's life thus far had been an uphill struggle to survive amidst the irresponsible adults around him - and Rukia wished that it didn't have to be that way.

But it happened.

He was hurt.

He was probably hurting all over.

If she tried to touch his heart, she'd be cut from all its broken, jagged edges.

'I evaded the attack.' Ichigo's voice lowered to an alarming, almost silent, level. 'I pushed Miyako out of the way, and Kaien fell through the window. He died the second he hit the ground.'

Rukia was speechless.

Liquid sapphires heavy with emotion burned into the young man's eyes.

He carried on.

'If I hadn't moved out of the way, he would still be alive today. Maybe it would've been me on that bloody concrete instead of him - and so often, I think that that would have been better than having to live with this guilt. But if I left, who would take care of my sisters? Miyako's statement implicated me as the primary aggressor, and so Oyaji took the fall for me. My sisters have no one to rely on. Shiro has his own life, and I wouldn't trust him to be good to anyone. Not that I'm any better.' he chuckled humourlessly. 'But I'm fucking trying. I may not be the best person, but I'm trying. That's why I slept with that other woman; so that she'd be able to pay for Yuzu's hospital bills. It was just a transaction, Rukia. I don't feel anything for her, not like I do for you.'

The Kuchiki heiress inhaled sharply. She tried to bottle in her emotions, but a few tears seeped through the corners of her eyes. She didn't even bother wiping them away this time. All she could focus on was the vulnerable man in front of him, the tortured soul, the pitiful but handsomely seductive ambers of his drawing her closer and closer like a moth to a flame.

She knew she would burn should she get any closer.

'It's selfish of me to do this.' he swallowed. 'You're the most beautiful, kind, and interesting person I've ever met. I'm not worthy of you, but I ask of you even as I kneel before you with all my shit on the table; Will you give me a chance?'

Her heart skipped a beat.

'Ichi-'

'I think about you.' he confessed. His fingers moved to slide along the smooth skin of her folded shins, and he kissed her ankles. 'I think that you must have all these other men that are so much better than me. I know that I probably can't take you out to expensive restaurants, and I know for sure that my past is too fucked up to pass a background check... But you make me feel things.' he slid up onto the sofa with her and cupped her face. 'I feel connected with you. I think I...'

'Please...'

'I'm falling in love with you.'

She sobbed.

He wiped her tears away with his thumbs.

'I'll do it right.' he whispered. 'I'll work hard. I'll make you happy. And we won't have to be together forever. I know that one day, my mental health will take a serious dip... And I want you to leave me. Before I turn into something that'll hurt you, leave me.'

'Don't... Don't talk like that!'

 _I already can't leave you!_

'Rukia...'

'Don't.' she grudgingly tore herself away from him. 'Please leave. I can't think right now. This is a lot, I...' she looked up at him and immediately regretted it.

That ridiculously handsome face of his was going to give her a heart attack.

'I need to think.' she said honestly, and he got to his feet. 'I'm sorry, Ichigo. This is a lot. I can't process this right now, I-'

'I understand.' he interrupted as his expression darkened. 'I get it. I'm sorry for dropping this on you. I...'

She covered her face with her hands so she wouldn't have to look at him.

'I wish you the best, Rukia.'

And with that, he turned on his heel and left.

As the elevator doors slid shut between them, the weight of his absence dropped over her like a shadow.

She was crying her heart out in torrents.

* * *

Rangiku was over it.

She was over Shiro.

She was over their stupid, casual relationship.

She was over being treated like his bitch, because although she was a _bad bitch_ , she was nobody's bitch!

Since that alabaster prick essentially kicked her out of his apartment a few days ago, she retreated into her cobra's basket to lick her wounds. But now, she was out and proud, hissing with her tongue to pick up any opportunity to spite her good-for-nothing fling. Initially, she thought that she could have a blast contacting his fiancé and they as women could band together to kick his sorry ass. But when she did some digging, she realized that the woman on Shiro's home screen was none other than the only woman of the Kuchiki clan; a private banking group that charged an arm an hour. If Rangiku played her cards right, she could do some serious damage.

So she did some digging on that aristocratic family and found out that Byakuya Kuchiki had been sticking his fingers in a very scandalous pie. The head of the Kuchiki empire was asking for Kaien Shiba's murder case to be reopened. Rangiku put two and two together to produce her magic four; Shiro wanted to know who was trying to reopen the case, and it was Byakuya - plus, Shiro was engaged to Byakuya's sister.

What was going on?

Well.

Shiro probably wanted to weasel his way into this scheme undetected.

Fuck him.

'Who is this?'

'Hey, Kuchiki-san!' Rangiku giggled into the phone receiver. 'You don't know who I am, but boy, do I have news for you!'

'I do not deal with fans.' Byakuya bit out icily. 'I am going to hang up now. Goodbye-'

'Wait! It's about Kaien Shiba's murder!'

She could practically feel Byakuya stiffen on the other end of the line. His silence was better than any verbal approval.

'That's more I like it.' she grinned. 'Now, how about you and I meet for a coffee?'

* * *

When Rukia got home, she took another shower. Not because she felt dirty in any way, but because the warm water soothed her heartache. As she stood shrouded in steam, she couldn't shake off Ichigo's sickeningly handsome face. How he looked at her like she was light itself, how his fingers were gentle but assertive on her, or how honest his tongue was with every ounce of pain in his words.

She didn't doubt his story of Kaien's apparent alter ego.

Why not? Why didn't she doubt Ichigo? Why did she seem to accept whatever he said? She tried to find any indication in his body language that he was making this all up, but for some reason, she didn't think he was the type of person to do that.

And the arrangement with that other woman...

Who was that disgusting cougar, preying on a helpless teenager to fulfill her carnal desires? Disgusting. Fucking disgusting.

Rukia made a mental note to herself to contact the hospital tomorrow.

She left the shower and dressed herself in a thick, white robe. She wanted to watch some television in the living room to distract her fuzzy brain, but as she waltzed around her own apartment, she was greeted by none other than Shiro Kurosaki sitting sheepishly on the couch.

'You!' she hissed defensively. 'What are you-'

'I'm sorry.' he said with surprising sincerity. 'For the way I treated you before. I assumed things about you that were wrong, and I just... I-'

'Drop the act.' she spit out venomously, crossing her arms over her chest. 'What are you doing here? Want to threaten me again? To stronghold me into being your doting wife for the rest of my hellish life? Well, fuck you. Fuck you-'

'No.' he stood up and walked over to her with flecks of desperation swimming around in arrogant gold. 'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have treated you that way. I freaked out.'

'Fuck you, Shiro.' she fumed. 'Get the fuck out of my apartment. I'm not scared of you. You might be able to force me to marry you, but I will only be your wife by title. I will never, ever, for a second in my life, treat you with love or dignity or respect.'

'I won't force you into anything.' he lowered his voice to a soothing octave. 'I only want your forgiveness.'

Caught off guard, she gasped. This humane behaviour was uncharacteristic of the nearly demonic Shiro Kurosaki.

Unbeknownst to her, it was because the eldest Kurosaki child was absolutely terrified of losing her. Even though she was just a mark in the beginning of their relationship, he had actually developed serious feelings for her.

Rukia Kuchiki was unlike any other woman. She was driven, bull-headed, but always meant well. From afar, one would assume that she was as cold as ice when in reality, she could melt the Antarctic with her heartwarming kindness. She exuded an inherent classiness that simply could not be bought with money. She never walked - only floated. Beautiful Rukia with her beautiful ways and her beautiful grace. If Shiro could have her to himself, if she could truly love him back, then he'd forgo other women.

Just not if it meant that Ichigo's wellbeing would be jeopardized.

If there's one person Shiro loved more than his vices, it was his younger brother, Ichigo. The only reason Shiro was so cruel to Rukia was because he thought that she was trying to dig up Ichigo's painful past. Now that he knew that he was overly suspicious of her (and acted on those suspicions), he was compelled to apologize to her. That is, if he wanted to repair their relationship.

'Rukia...' he began in his most soothing voice. 'Please. I'm sorry. I love you. I meant it when I told you that for the first time. I really, really love you, so please tell me how to fix this.'

She swallowed hard.

'Rukia, tell me how to make it up to you. How can I make you happy?'

Ichigo's perfectly chiseled image flashed in her mind. The brief recollection sent a shiver up and down her spine, and ignited an urgency to see that mysterious, wonderful man with a head of outrageously orange hair.

Why did she think of Ichigo when Shiro mentioned happiness?

She was supposed to hate him.

'Rukia, come on.'

'I...' she averted her gaze from him. 'I don't know. I-'

'Come on, babe.' his tone turned pleading. 'I'll do anything you want. I'll take you out to all your favourite places.'

'No, that's-'

'Do you wanna go on a vacation? Fuck, sweetheart, I'll take you on one right now! Anywhere you want baby, anywhere-'

'Shiro, no-'

'Then what do you want, babe? Tell me what you want. You can have it. Anything, anything at all!'

 _I want to see him again._

Rukia's visage paled at the realization.

'Baby, come on.' he pressed. 'Tell me what-'

 _I want to see him for real._

'I want to break up.' she choked. 'I want to call our engagement off.'

 _I want to see him, and only him._

Shiro pulled back as if she'd slapped him across the face. His features froze, then collapsed into lighthearted laughter. 'Nice one, baby! I totally thought you were being serious-'

 _Am I falling for him?_

'I'm sorry.' she motioned to the door and ushered him out of her suite. 'Please just go. I-'

'No!' Shiro whipped around and grabbed her by the shoulders, fury flashing dangerously in his eyes. 'What the fuck's going on?! Call our engagement off?! Call it off?! Are you crazy?! Who-'

'Please go!' she pushed him with as much force as she could muster, but he only fell back a few steps. He glared at her with hurt, more hurt than she thought was possible for him. He was about to scathe her with a biting remark about being a cheating whore, but the sheer emotion reflected in glazed blues told him all he needed to know; whoever she was seeing, she was utterly in love with.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **RukiYuki, Peachberrylove, jobananasan,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **Peachberrylove,** if there is no warning before the chapter begins, then there will be no IH scene! I hope this chapter clears up what went down with Kaien.

 **jobananasan,** LMAO I'm not that cruel! Rukia certainly hasn't forgotten that, which contributes to her guilt in this chapter. Karin will definitely be involved in the IR bits of this story!

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	12. Way Too Close

Ichigo was having a miserable day at school.

He could hardly keep his head up. Throughout his classes, his wrist was pressed up against his temple, moving in gentle circles in a useless effort to massage the pounding of his head away. He didn't catch so much as a wink of sleep. There were dark, blue bags under his eyes and his features were sunken in so that he looked all the more depressing.

His friends avoided him for they could see just how shitty of a mood he was in. Despite his solitude, even paying attention in class was impossible. The teachers' words just flew right over his head.

What was this hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach? Something akin to being punched by a street punk who wore brass on his knuckles.

What about the coiling tension surrounding his heart? Like an ignorant snake learning how to squeeze the life out of its prey for the first time, unaware of how painful it was making him.

What had he done?

He fucked up big time.

Just last night, he recounted the nasty tale of his past to a woman that he was genuinely interested in. Unsurprisingly, Rukia seemed like she wanted nothing to do with him after that. She was nice enough not to freak out. She simply told him to leave since the entire revelation was just too much for her to deal with. Truthfully, that went way better than he expected. He thought that he would receive proper admonishing for murdering his cousin and lying to her by pretending to be an innocent, normal teenage boy.

He hated being a boy. He wanted to be a man.

Rukia liked men, not boys.

Anyway. That was beside the point.

He sighed loudly. _Fuuuuuuckkk_. Why did it all have to turn out this way? And why was he so affected by the threat of never seeing Rukia again? He hardly knew her, but he was already so attached to her. She was unlike any other woman he'd ever known, and even the way she conducted herself last night after all that he laid at her feet was admirably composed. Everything she did was beautifully graceful. Even the cold tears that rolled down her cheeks glistened like they were made of glass. That calm energy around her gave off the illusion of fragility, though he knew her well enough to see past that. Rukia was strong - she didn't need anybody, least of all him.

But if she just gave him the chance to prove himself-

What? She'd magically fall in love with him?

He wants that woman to fall in love with him even though he knows fully well that he has nothing to offer. He's got no money, and pretty soon he was going to be out of a job because there's no way in hell he could stand being in the same room as Orihime after fucking her for a week straight. If he was being completely honest with himself, he'd rather knock himself over with a hammer than subject himself to that strange experience ever again.

He chuckled humourlessly to himself.

What a failure of a man he was.

'Something funny, Kurosaki?' Ochi-sensei snapped at her orange-haired student. The class fell eerily silent. Ichigo was always the silent type in class to avoid any additional trouble since his funny hair colour already attracted a mob of angry delinquents to the school grounds every week. It was unusual for Ichigo to be spacing out, let alone laughing to himself during class hours.

'Ah... Sorry.' he cleared his throat, embarrassed that he had been called out for getting caught up in his own world. 'I just remembered something, that's all.'

'Hmm... Reminiscing during class.' a vein pulsated furiously on the teacher's forehead. 'That's not very nice, is it, Kurosaki? Maybe you'd like to share with the class what exactly is so important in your mind the you tune me out? I'm trying to teach a class here, and you're a distraction to the other students!'

Mizuiro Kojima, one of Ichigo's close friends, winced. Ochi-sensei was really going all out on Ichigo. Poor guy. Ichigo didn't do well under pressure from authority, and he tended to rebel when faced with this kind of situation - which only made matters worse.

Surprisingly enough, Ichigo didn't seem at all angered by Ochi-sensei's scolding. Instead, the notoriously problematic teen shrugged his shoulders, muttered a soft apology, and folded his hands under his chin as he pretended to listen in on the lecture.

From the corner of his eye, Mizuiro noticed a wary Keigo Asano (another one of Ichigo's friends) flashing the young playboy an anxious look. Both young boys understood their situation; Ichigo was stuck in a rut, and they had to get him out of it. Behind the two boys, Chad had caught on to the silent conversation taking place. The burly foreigner was also concerned for the wellbeing of Ichigo, who he noticed had a darker aura around him today. Although Chad was worried, he knew better than to directly ask Ichigo about it. Whenever Ichigo was confronted like that, he'd smile tensely and retreat into himself. If anyone was going to get a real answer out of Ichigo, they needed to proceed with caution.

What could have happened?

The three boys wondered...

Did Ichigo's mild depression have anything to do with that mysterious woman who hit him with her car a week ago?

It all went to shit from there. Well, sort of.

After being hit by that woman (what did she call herself again? Rukia...?) Ichigo would often drift off into daydreams from which he emerged with frighteningly unpredictable moods. Once his ambers glossed in grey, unfeeling, his friends didn't know whether to expect a distant Ichigo who would snap at the slightest provocation, or a pleasantly airy Ichigo whose temper calmed for the rest of the class.

So _weird_.

His friends didn't know whether to worry about or be happy for him.

In the end, despite their concerns, they chalked it up to Ichigo having relationship problems. Because really, from a third party looking, how could anyone really suspect the truth?

Nightmares aren't real.

* * *

Rangiku Matsumoto looked very much like the cat who swallowed the canary whole.

She was sitting across the table from the supposedly untouchable Byakuya Kuchiki, whose legs and arms were crossed defensively as he studied her with unreadable eyes. The blonde beauty herself had her elbows on the table, one hand supporting her dainty chin whilst the other had its fingers toying around the rim of the coffee cup she was drinking from.

The pair were at a dimly lit restaurant situated in the lobby of Byakuya's favourite hotel: The Hanakotoba. The hotel itself was quite old, but the management was able to retain its timeless beauty with the gold trimmings of the furniture and the shimmering beige of the walls playing against crimson carpeting. It was expensive, which meant that not a lot of people could afford to even step foot in it. Hence, the Kuchiki head felt that this meeting place was private enough not to cause a fuss, but public enough so that if this woman meant to do him wrong or harm, she would think twice to do so now.

Byakuya was the first to arrive. A Kuchiki is never late, after all. Sadly, Rangiku was notorious for being the three big Ls; lazy, loopy, and late. Always so late. Byakuya seriously considered showing up late for the first time in his life, but he decided against sacrificing his integrity for this nobody of a criminal defence lawyer.

When Rangiku finally arrived, she extended her hand out for a handshake. He accepted it and was surprised at how firmly she held his hand. Clearly she meant business - and he wasn't so sure that he liked that. Initially, he thought this was going to a straight-forward case of extortion via blackmail. He was willing to negotiate a given sum in exchange for this crazy woman keeping quiet about the closed murder case he was trying to reopen _quietly_.

But she made small talk.

She asked how his day was, how much she admired his business prowess, and how honoured she was to be sitting down with him for a coffee. He listened patiently, but every passing second that she wasn't talking about why she called him over intensified the urgency he felt pressing up against his gut. As much as he wanted to be hasty, he patiently conversed with her. He didn't want to highlight his impatience.

A waitress came over to drop off some menus, but Byakuya waved a dismissive hand.

'That will not be necessary.' he declared. 'I am perfectly satisfied with just a black coffee.'

'As usual, sir.' the waitress smiled. 'And for yourself, ma'am?'

'It's on you, right?' Rangiku shot a mischievous glance at her companion, who narrowed his eyes with deadly slowness. That didn't deter her whatsoever. With an overly excited giggle, she turned back to the waitress. 'A double-patty cheeseburger, please. Extra everything with a side of fries.'

'Is that all, ma'am?'

'That's all. I'm on a diet.'

The waitress scampered away and Byakuya was seething.

The entrepreneur didn't like taken advantage of, especially by the same person who was baiting him with very sensitive material. Not to say that Byakuya was sensitive about Kaien's murder whatsoever, no; but Rukia was still touchy about it, and though she thought that she was keeping herself under the radar, her efforts to find the truth pertaining to Kaien's death were not overlooked by Byakuya. The older Kuchiki watched his sister suffer in silence from afar, her obsession disconnecting her from everything and everyone who had nothing to do with her deceased mentor. It was like Rukia wanted to keep Kaien alive by allowing his spirit to consume her.

Having said that, giving Kaien life was hindering her from going about her own. Rukia didn't have friends and she had completely withdrawn from the rest of the Kuchiki clan. To Byakuya's knowledge, the only other person Rukia had opened up to in her life besides Kaien was her childhood friend, Renji. Yet, that friendship dissipated quickly after Kaien's death. Frightened by a depressed Rukia, Renji shut her out. He didn't know how to support her and he took offence to her unwillingness to lean on him.

Earlier this year, Renji applied for the concierge position at Kuchiki Corporation. Byakuya hired the redhead personally in the hopes that it would make Rukia happy, and that those two would be able to patch things up. Sadly, that never happened. If anything, Rukia only sank deeper into her sadness.

Byakuya's plan was simple; bury Kaien once and for all. Get to all the records before Rukia could and dispose of those documents once and for all.

But it surprised the noble just how airtight the case was. Perhaps it was Kaien was the head of all police forces in Karakura Town, but even the great Kuchiki tycoon couldn't convince the courts to hand over the supposedly closed case files.

Now finally, after years of pressing, a corrupt state employee agreed to release those documents for a price.

Though it seems as though Rangiku Matsumoto got to them first.

Was she a friend, or...

Nah. Foe, for sure.

'If you do not intend to eat, then talk.' Byakuya spoke tensely as he watched the lady in front of him pick her cheeseburger apart. 'I do not take pleasure in watching children play with their food.'

'I'm not a child.' she quirked an eyebrow and dropped her utensils with a rude clang. She sat back in her chair, folded her arms over her chest, and gave her prey a wry smirk. 'I'm a grown woman. Would you like me to prove that to you?'

He scoffed at her implied proposal. 'You misinterpret the kind of man I am, Matsumoto. Is that what you called me out here for? To get into my pants? I assure you, there will be none of that between us.'

'Don't worry, I'm not interested in that.' Rangiku tapped her chin with a perfectly manicured finger. 'It seems that _you_ misunderstand _my_ character as a woman.'

His gaze on her hardened, and she returned that look with a steely stare of her own. Miffed about being challenged, Byakuya tapped the fine china of his coffee cup with an impatient finger, ominous tingling ringing amidst the otherwise deathly silent café. As busy as it was, its patrons were of a certain calibre, and thus maintained a barely-there volume of chatter.

 _Unfortunately._

Had there been more noise around him, Byakuya could have distracted himself from this irritatingly condescending woman. It took all his self-control not to a) throw the cup at her or b) stand up and leave because _fuck this_. He didn't rise to the top of the corporate ladder to be blackmailed by an average jane. But if any good was to come out of this situation, Byakuya would have to play smart.

'Well then, Matsumoto...' he leaned in, his elbows propping up on the table. 'What is it that you want from me?'

She pursed her lips, but said nothing. She knows that silence kills him. Though her companion doesn't so much as flinch, she knows that there's a bundle of a million horrible feelings coiling inside of him, threatening to burst like an angry supernova that had been festering in darkness for far too long. That's the impression Rangiku got of this case when she first started digging into it; there were so many horrible surprises that it was hard to believe that this was a reality those involved have to carry on for the rest of their lives.

'Why are you so interested?' she eventually asked. 'About this case, I mean.'

'That is none of your concern.'

'I'm not concerned, I'm just asking. I only mentioned this case to you over the phone, and you immediately decided to meet up with me. I also know, from my buddies over at the courthouses, that you've been trying to get your hands on it for a long time now. I looked over it and there's no mention of any Kuchiki involvement... So why are you so interested?'

'Can I not simply be a curious man?'

She smiled at him coyly. 'You are _not_ a curious man.'

'How presumptuous of you.' he flipped a hand over so that his palm was facing upwards. 'The information, please, madame.'

Her eyes scanned him, but found no sign of him letting up. 'You're not going to tell me why you want this, are you?'

'No.'

'Well, then... Will you at least do me a favour?'

'If it is in my power to do so, and if your exclusive information compels me to assist you, then yes.'

'Your sister's fiancé... She can't marry him.'

A thin brow quirked, breaking his Kuchiki mask's perfect formation. 'Pardon me?'

'It's all in here.' she reached into her purse and retrieved a binder folder, wagging it in the air to taunt him. 'But you...' she opened it, tore a page out, and handed it to him. 'Only get this bit. I need to squeeze whatever help I can get out of you.'

He took the paper and read it intently. A hand came up to cover his mouth and his brows knit together in an anxious mix of shock and confusion. 'This is...'

'You see, Shiba-kun had a long family history of an unspecified mental illness. He failed to disclose this information during his employment and when the investigation dug it up during the case, the police did all they could to prevent it from being revealed to the public. It would just make their organization look worse than it already is. Careless hiring that could contribute to having unfit officers committing acts of violence... Well, that's not so nice.'

'And-'

'See, the defendant is actually Shiba-kun's cousin; Ichigo-kun. Your sister's fiancé is that man's brother.'

* * *

Class was dismissed for the day, and Ichigo brushed off Keigo's invitation to go bowling as he made his way out of the campus. The orange-haired youth had been thinking all day to himself whether or not he should show up at Rukia's office to beg her to start over, and that even if they couldn't be lovers, they could be friends. He tried telling himself that he didn't need her, that she was just a pleasant stranger who he fancied - but the inconvenient truth was that he was attached to her and didn't want to lose her.

Too late for that.

He was beyond help. He was totally crushed by what transpired between them last night. He thought that he had completely shut himself off from being hurt by people, but he was mistaken. Not that he blamed Rukia for his shitty mood. He blamed himself for being a shitty person. Maybe if he was less shitty, people would respond better to him.

He hates himself. Why couldn't he have been born a better person?

'Hey...' a familiar voice called to him as he passed the open school gates.

Ichigo whipped his head to the side. Warm ambers widened at the sight of Rukia leaning on the driver's door of her sleek, black car. Her arms were folded over her chest and she was wearing sunglasses, but it couldn't have been anyone else.

He opened his mouth to speak, but she raised a finger to her lips. He snapped his lips shut, not wanting to upset her. For _her,_ he'd do anything. He wondered if she knew just how much control she had over him. She opened the door, slipped into her seat, and motioned for him to do the same on the passenger side. As if in a trance, his feet led him just where she wanted him so that his ass was planted right beside her. Throughout all of this, he had not said one word. Even as her hands took hold of the wheels, and he was once again stuck in a moving vehicle with her without any real destination in mind, he felt the comfort of her presence.

'I owe you an apology.' she spoke eventually. 'I overreacted last night. I'm sorry that you showed me your heart and I turned away.'

He swallowed.

'But I'll always come back for you.' she continued. 'Now that I know you, I can't just leave you when you're hurting. Even so, there's no way I can probe into your life without stepping on your heart... I don't know what came after what you told me, and I don't want to force you into revealing anything you don't want me to know. But what _I_ want _you_ to know is that it wasn't your fault.' she pulled up in an alleyway and turned the engine off.

'Rukia-'

'You did what you thought was right.' she took off her sunglasses and her eyes met his for what felt like the first enchantment. 'I'm sorry that you got kicked for it. But what happened was an accident. No one blames you. I don't, I know your family doesn't either... Not even your cousin.' the last word was barely a whisper. 'So, please... Forgive yourself. Your cousin forgave you a long time ago, I'm sure of it.'

Shellshocked, Ichigo could do nothing but stare back at her with a hung jaw. Her words resonated pleasantly in his heart, but he couldn't form the words to thank her. Instead, his hand gravitated to her, his fingers grazing the side of her face until she leaned into his palm with a warm sigh and his heart tightened to the point where he thought he might just faint.

'Is that all you wanted to tell me?' he managed, choked with his feelings.

Rukia's rich blues glimmered with mysterious hues of violet.

Still, she said nothing as Ichigo leaned in and captured her lips in his.

* * *

'How do you feel?' Karin asked her younger sister, who seemed perfectly fine slaving over a stove to resume her usual household activities. 'You don't have to do that, you know. I'm not too bad at cooking. I don't want you to stress yourself out.'

'You worry too much about me!' Yuzu beamed. She was so full of life that one would never suspect that she had just been discharged from the hospital. 'I'm fine, Karin-chan. I actually felt way sicker stuck in that hospital bed! It's great to be home.'

'If you say so...'

'Wasn't it nice to see Onii-chan again?' Yuzu smiled softly to herself. The rims of her eyes watered, and Karin frowned. It was never easy seeing Yuzu sad.

'Yeah...'

'I wish he'd come home.'

'He will, when he's ready.'

The two girls weren't fond of the fact that they rarely got to see their brother, but made no complaints for the simple reason that Ichigo never failed them. Financially, he was alway providing for them since their father was in prison. If eider one of the sisters had problems that they couldn't quite work through, Ichigo made sure to make himself available to assist them even if he wasn't much help in the end anyway. Eventually, the twins decided that if they really wanted to support their brother, they would harden themselves to face life without needing to lean on him all the time.

However, as they grew without their brother, Karin noted that Yuzu's personality was developing an aggression that she hypothesized was defensive in origin. Perhaps Yuzu tried to be tougher like her brothers and sister. But it was obvious that being away from Ichigo was very hard on the youngest Kurosaki sibling that it was taking a toll on her wellbeing. She was stressed and lonely, and often took out these emotions on other people.

Karin was just happy that Yuzu never blew up on Ichigo. If that happened, then he would just be worried and Karin wouldn't just have one stressed idiot on her hand - she'd have two. And Karin herself was doing all she could just to breathe above the water.

Nothing was easy for those children.

'So...' Karin cleared her throat, trying to steer the topic on to a lighter note. 'What do you think of Ichi-nii's girlfriend?'

'Orihime-chan?' Yuzu's eyes lit up. 'She's so nice!'

'Yeah, she is. I don't think Ichi-nii's into her, though.'

'Eh? Why do you say that?'

'Didn't you see how weird he was around her?'

'You know how he is, Karin-chan. He was probably embarrassed.'

'Still, you'd think that a guy would be more enthusiastic about his girlfriend - especially if she looks like that.'

'Onii-chan's not like other guys.'

Just then, the doorbell rang, cutting off the girls' conversation. Yuzu wondered aloud who it could be, and Karin offered to get the door.

'O-Oh!' Karin forced a smile when she greeted the unexpected guest. 'It's nice to see you!'

'It's nice to see you too!' Orihime Inoue exclaimed happily.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **RukiYuki, FlynnChan, shirayukideathberry, Peachberrylove, jobananasan, hinataellis, NieveDrop** , **IchiRuki 4vr,** and **Jani**!

 **shirayukideathberry** , but Shiro's feelings could lead him to make decisions that will hurt Rukia later on, especially since his "love" for her is highly susceptible to blowing up depending on how she relates to Ichigo. I'm so glad that despite all the bits and pieces that turn you off, you remain interested in future chapters! Thank you so much for your support!

 **Peachberrylove** , I hope this chapter clears that discrepancy up!

 **jobananasan** , Isshin didn't want to deal with these harsh facts of his reality after his wife's death, so he chose to abandon Kaien instead of helping out. This contributes to Isshin's strained relationship with Ichigo. Miyako may not have really been in love with Ichigo, but I used that history with her to obstruct Ichigo's perspective on love. Kaien didn't want to get help because he didn't want any records of his mental illness - but he didn't count his ancestors' records, which came up in the investigation. Rangiku is prideful, though! So even if she knows that she's not the woman in Shiro's heart, she still hated being disrespected by him at the end. She won't be much of a problem to IchiRuki in this story, but she'll definitely be a problem to Shiro.

 **NieveDrop** , Orihime doesn't have the bills to hold over his had, but she still has their history - which may be more than enough material for her to keep drawing Ichigo in!

 **IchiRuki 4vr,** I really struggle with Shiro's character in this, but I'm glad you don't think he's a bad guy! I'm really trying not to paint him as a villain.

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	13. Be Yourself

Rukia's black van was pulled up into an alleyway. The doors were locked. The driver's seat as well as the passenger's seat was empty. No music was playing, no lights flickered, so the only sign of any life within the vehicle was the steam staining the windows.

Ichigo was on his fours at the back of the car, his shirt discarded on the floor so that his toned torso was exposed. Rukia's body lay beneath him and her hands roamed his muscular built freely. Their lips were locked in an unrelenting battle for dominance, which they both refused to give up.

'If you think I'll let you win...' Rukia whispered against her partner's lips when he released her for a brief gulp of air. 'You don't know me at all.'

Ichigo said nothing, but smirked at her challenge. He gave her another open-mouthed kiss, which she accepted with a fervent desire that matched his. Her hands snaked up his biceps and to his surprisingly bulky shoulders, and he shuddered as everywhere her cold skin caressed, his bronzed body lit up with fire. His groin was becoming unbearably hot and tense, and his current engagement wasn't helping alleviate any of that discomfort. He wanted nothing more than to press his pelvis against her and let her know how much he wanted her, but he feared that she would find his advances too forward.

Although they were supposed to be caught up in an erotic battle, Rukia had unknowingly won before it even started. The last thing Ichigo wanted was to drive her away, so he was going to go at a pace that she wanted. Plus, he didn't want to disappoint her by revealing that he was insecure, overexcited boy who couldn't wait to get it out of his pants.

After all, Rukia was an older, mature woman, right? Surely her expectations for a good lover were sky high.

'Mm... Oh, _oh_ -' she moaned when he sucked on her tongue in a particularly exhilarating manner.

The fingers she had gripping his shoulders kneaded his flesh almost painfully. She threw her head back and let out a long sigh, and Ichigo thought that the offering of her neck was irresistibly tempting. He grazed his teeth along the long bone strained against the skin of her neck, and she shivered into his touch. Her body was reacting in ways she never knew it could, but the foreign territory she was treading on wasn't at all unpleasant. No, it was _very_ pleasant and pleasurable, albeit a little uncomfortable and frightening.

This man; this man that she was supposed to hate but learned to almost love, this man who she had hunted down for years but now felt hunted by, this man who gazed at her with the eyes of a kicked puppy and reduced her bull-heart to a fluttering mess of hormones and chemicals... This man made her feel like every fibre of herself that had lost feeling come back to life.

She wanted him, _fuck_ , she wanted him. He was hot and sticky and the ripple of his taut muscles as his clean cologne filled the stuffy atmosphere of her car made her think dirty, _dirty_ thoughts. Thoughts that got her questioning her morality, thoughts that made her wetter between the legs, thoughts that had her holding onto him for dear life.

'Is this alright?' Ichigo asked softly as his hands cupped her waist.

Rukia rolled her eyes to hide the fact that his concern melted her. 'It's just my waist, Ichigo. It's not like you're grabbing my tits or something.'

'Hmm...' he hummed because he didn't know what to say. His eyes were scorching as they studied her fully-clothed chest. It felt a little unfair that he was topless and she was dressed for the office, but he didn't complain. Whatever she was comfortable with was fine by him. He just didn't ever want this moment to end.

She caught his traveling gaze and a spark of excitement warmed her. She bit her lip and spoke through half-lidded sapphires, 'Do you want to touch me somewhere else?'

His brows furrowed and his eyes widened disbelievingly. 'W-What?' he stammered. 'What are you-'

'It's fine.' she tried to remain cool despite her nerve-wracking anxiety bubbling in the pit of her stomach. 'You've seen them before, anyway.' she added with feigned nonchalance as she began undoing the buttons of her crisp, white blouse. Ichigo was frozen in place, eyes glued to what he felt was a once-in-a-lifetime show. Sure, he had seen her topless before, but he couldn't appreciate her beauty when he was walking in a daze he needed to imagine himself into to live with himself after succumbing to Orihime's disgusting fantasies (nightmares).

His gut churned sickeningly.

He shut his eyes.

'Is something wrong, Ichigo?'

'No.' he forced his eyelids open. 'Sorry. I just-' his breath caught in his throat when she pulled down a plain, white bra to uncover unexpectedly full breasts. They weren't big, but she wasn't flat. He mentally chastised himself for making that observation in the first place. This shouldn't be a surprise considering he's seen them before, but then again he wasn't paying much attention at the time. Plus, he didn't think he'd be so observant of her body if he didn't have Orihime to compare her to.

 _Fuck, why?_ he thought to himself fearfully. _Why do I keep thinking about Inoue?_

'Do you like what you see?' Rukia asked quietly, breaking into his thoughts.

'Yeah...' he responded without thinking. The inhibitive part of his brain shut down a long time ago, but right now, he might as well have been a zombie to his attraction to this woman. 'I do.'

'Then touch me.'

He choked on nothing. 'W-What? T-Touch you where?'

'Ichigo.' she laughed. 'Anywhere you want.'

At those words, his fingertips magnetically glided over her flat stomach. Her softness was surprising, so he trembled at the sensation. His mouth felt dry. His throat was closing up and he didn't know how to regain control over himself. She was doing things to him without even touching him.

'Ichigo?'

She was beginning to feel self-conscious.

'Sorry.' he swallowed. 'I just... I want to touch you, but I don't want to hurt you.'

'You won't hurt me.' she smiled sweetly, moved by his sincerity. She took hold of his wrists and guided his willing hands up to palm her breasts, which his fingers curled around gently. She moaned and he swore loudly.

He leaned in and gave her a deep kiss. When he came back up, he whispered, 'I don't want to do anything that'll hurt you. I would never, ever-'

'You won't.' she looked into his eyes with confidence and trust. 'If it hurts, I'll tell you.'

'Ok...' he leaned back down to kiss her, and kiss her some more, and kiss her until she was moving her head to the side to breathe. His lips glided down her neck and sucked on one of her mounds.

'Ah!' she squeaked and threw her head back.

'Haha...' he chuckled lightly before giving her a quick, chaste peck on the lips.

He lowered his hips so that he was grinding his interest against her thighs, which she squeezed together instinctively. His hands left her to unbuckle his belt and the rustle of metal and fabric made her hotter than she's ever been. She looked down just as he discarded his belt, in time to see him pull down his pants to below his hips. The tent of his boxers was intimidating, but she jutted her chin out. But when he pulled his underwear down as well so that his impressive erection stood proudly in full display, alarm bells went off in her head.

 **MISSION ABORT**

What was wrong with her? It's not like she hadn't seen his... It's not like she hasn't seen it before. For fuck's sake, she had it in her mouth just last night. But it was different now. She felt different towards him today than she did yesterday. The reveal of his past, his honesty, made her feel like she connected to him on a deeper level and thus, he wasn't just a body to her anymore. Every inch she saw of him was an extension of that beautiful soul shining through his chest. If possible (she didn't think it was, but her thundering heartbeat begged to differ) she was more attracted to him than she'd ever been. So now, he wasn't just a random man with schlong hanging between his legs. He was Ichigo, and he was hot and heavy for her, and she was more than happy to know that she had done that to him.

However.

She was starting to believe that this was going too far too fast.

'Like what you see?' he teased, but he already knew the answer. Ichigo was a prideful - often arrogant - man, and his body was no exception. Sure, he had loads of insecurities, but his physique was not one of them. He liked to show it off, which was why he opted for tight clothing.

Rukia turned to stone.

What was she going to do? She lost herself in the heat of the moment and now she wanted to backtrack. Would that upset him? She really didn't want to upset him, but she also didn't want to do something she'd regret later.

Her first time in the back of her van with a guy she really liked but only met a week ago and spent three years hating? Yeah, she'd regret that for sure.

But how to get out of this situation?

'I want to be on top!' she blurted.

That caught him off guard. He froze and gave her a skeptical look, but she stared at him with attempted nonchalance. He saw right through her though - he saw something in her akin to anxiety, and he immediately knew that he had done something wrong. So she didn't like it when her lover was on top? He could relate to that. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, so he definitely could switch positions if that was what she really wanted. But that didn't mean that he'd enjoy it.

'You wanna be on top?' he repeated slowly, buying his time. Rukia being on top meant that she'd be riding him, which meant that he'd be stuck at the bottom.

 _Again._

He hated being at the bottom.

Orihime always liked being on top.

'Yes.' Rukia cleared her throat, looking away as a faint blush graced her cheeks. Her sheepishness wasn't lost on him. In fact, he found it endearing. It melted his heart and turned him into putty in her hands.

When she looked so cute, how could he say no?

He really wanted to say no.

'Sure.' he conceded and flipped her over so that he was pinned beneath her. Although the position brought back sickening feelings of helplessness etched into his memories, he took it in stride because the very last thing he wanted was for _Rukia_ to be uncomfortable. As much as possible, he wanted to give her pleasure. Whether it be by conversation or by lovemaking, he wanted her to feel good.

Lovemaking? He hadn't thought about that term other than in literature class.

He supposed he was falling in love with her, if he wasn't in love already.

'A-Ah...' Rukia sighed when she sat on his hardness. He could feel the heat from under her skirt against him. Ichigo's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he let out a dark whimper. Despite her hesitancy to take this situation to the extreme, she delighted in that sexy sound he made that she hoped to hear again. She rocked herself against his length, and he almost bit his tongue.

'That feels nice.' he breathed and raised his hips as though he wanted to imprint himself on her.

The sudden movement brought Rukia's hesitancy back in full throttle.

'W-Wait! Please stop! S-Stop, Ichigo!' she struggled to speak for the first time that evening. He halted his actions and fought the sinking feeling in his gut. Had he done something wrong?

'Shit, Rukia-' he started. 'Did I hurt you? Does it hurt anywhere? Did I-'

'I'm fine!' she blushed madly. 'Just... Can we just get dressed please?'

'Rukia-'

'Get dressed!' she shouted and she was shaking. He noticed, but decided not to say anything. He knew that the only thing that could alleviate her nervousness was his compliance, so he made the decision to do whatever she wanted him to. If she wanted him to get dressed, he would gladly do so. If she wanted him to get the fuck out, he'd do so as well. 'Please get dressed!'

'Yeah.' he averted his eyes from her because he thought that his gaze was making her even more uncomfortable. He folded his legs up from under her and sat up, collecting his clothes from the carpeting of her car. She dove for her blouse and hurriedly buttoned it up. It was difficult to dress themselves in the tight space of the vehicle, but they managed in silence.

'I'll take you home.' she spoke as she slid into the driver's seat. 'Whenever you want to go. You don't have to go now. I'm not kicking you out, I'm just saying-'

'Hey.' Ichigo raised a hand to quiet her. 'It's alright. I get it.'

He crawled his way to the passenger seat without looking at her. He felt that if he made eye contact with her, she'd feel threatened. So he proceeded in the most non-threatening manner he knew best; patient, understanding, and non-confrontational. Besides, it honestly wasn't like he was upset with her. He understood where she was coming from and was actually glad that she trusted him enough to let him know that he was crossing a line.

Rukia keyed the car, but her trembling fingers rendered the success of that task next to impossible. Eventually, the engine started, but she gripped the wheel loosely. Her breathing was ragged and her vision was almost blurry. She swallowed the dryness of her cotton mouth and reached down to max out the air conditioning. The vehicle reeked of proof of what they'd done. She couldn't handle that right now.

'I'm sorry.' she tapped the steering wheel with her perfectly manicured nails. 'I wasn't ready. I couldn't do it, I'm sorry-'

'Rukia.' Ichigo's voice was firm this time. 'I said, it's fine.'

'You don't mean that. You're pissed, I don't blame you.'

' _Rukia_.' he turned to face her, but she was staring straight ahead. 'Rukia, look at me.'

She did as she was told. Strangely enough, locking eyes with him made her feel better. Ambers were devoid of any disappointment, but were instead warm with a welcoming understanding of her.

'It's fine.' he repeated. 'If it doesn't feel right to you, don't do it. I'm glad that you stopped me. I really like you, Rukia. And I'm so... I mean, you saw-' he turned red in the face. 'You saw how turned on I get around you, so... I just want you to feel like that too. But you're not gonna be that way if it feels wrong, so tell me. I don't care if we _do it_ or not, I just want you to feel good.'

'I feel good.' she insisted. With a sigh, she turned the engine of the car off. This wasn't going to be a quick conversation, she could already tell.

'It can feel good and still feel wrong. That's fine too.'

'Yeah...' she bit her lip. 'It's just... I didn't want my first time to be in here, you know?'

His jaw dropped.

Rukia smacked her forehead with a palm. Shiro was the same way when she mentioned that she was a virgin. Guys were so predictable. They always assumed that she had somehow lost it, as if they knew her well enough to make assumptions about her.

'W-Wait.' Ichigo raised his brows. 'Y-You're still...?'

'Yeah, you got a problem with that?' she snapped.

'No!' he shook his head vigorously. 'I just thought, you know, that... Well, you're a beautiful woman-'

'Thanks.'

'-and you're older, so I thought-'

'I'm eighteen.'

'Yeah, so-! W-Wait, what?!'

'I'm eighteen.' she stated matter-of-factly. 'Same age as you.'

' _Oh_.' he tried to feign composure. Rukia just laughed at his sad attempt at doing so. 'Wow. What a surprise... I mean, I thought you were in your twenties or something.'

'Are you saying I look old?'

'No! You're obviously a working woman, and you're always in a suit, so absolutely nothing about you screams "student."'

'Well, I'm _not_ a student. I dropped out of school when I was fifteen.'

'... Ah.' It was hard for Ichigo to pretend like this wasn't all shocking to him. He was flattered that she was confiding in him, but he didn't know how to react. Although perhaps, she didn't want him to react. Maybe she just wanted him to listen.

He could do that.

'I've worked in my brother's company for three years after I ditched school. I'm good at what I do, so there's no reason for me to go back and get an education. I've educated myself enough on my own.'

'Uh-huh.' he nodded. 'Sounds tough.'

'Not really.'

He chuckled. 'You're a tough girl yourself, so I guess you wouldn't find it difficult.'

'Whatever.' she shrugged to remain cool, but her ego bloated at his compliment. 'So there you go. I'm just as young as you, so I'm not as sexually... _adventurous_ as you may think.'

'But still, you're so _beautiful_. You must have a long list of guys grovelling at your feet. Weren't you ever in a relationship?'

'Stop gassing me up. I'm not... I'm not this crazy supermodel that you're propping me up to be.' she frowned to distract from a humiliating blush spreading across her cheeks like wildfire.

'Sure you are. You're so beautiful, Rukia. You're classy and sexy and your personality _glows_. I've never met anyone like you. I want you, _fuck_ , I want you so badly. But I'm not stupid. I know I'm probably not the only guy who feels this way about you...' he trailed off.

'I was engaged once.' she said quickly and steamrolled through Ichigo's shocked expression. 'But I don't think he liked me. Not like you do, anyway.'

'You were _engaged_?' he demanded incredulously. There was a large helping of jealousy in his voice, as well as a hint of anger.

'Yes. Is that a problem?'

'No.' he bit out because he had no other choice. 'But did you love him? Damn, I mean... Engaged? You must have loved him. Where is he now? Do you still talk? Are you guys friends?'

'Not at all, Ichigo. I'm happier without him.'

'You better be!' he said without thinking and she smiled at him. Her soft features melted him. He didn't know how she had this effect on him, but he wanted to do everything in his power to make sure that she reciprocated his feelings.

If he said so himself, she was getting there.

She was opening up to him and he knew that couldn't be easy.

'Anyway...' she restarted the engine. 'Tell me where you want to go. It's getting late. Don't you have work? I'll drive.'

'I actually quit my job.' he lied. 'Thanks for driving me though.'

'Tell me where you want to go then.'

He thought about it.

He had an idea.

Would his sisters want to meet Rukia? Sure, Karin met her briefly, but he wanted his little sister to really get to know the lady who had captured his heart. After all, if he was serious about her, then she'd have to meet his family eventually. So what if it was a little too soon? Time was relative anyway.

He didn't want to admit that Rukia made him excited. And proud. His arrogance was through the roof, knowing that he could be with such a wonderful woman.

Karin and Yuzu would love her too. He was sure of it.

'Ichigo?'

'Can you take me home?'

'Sure. The apartment, right?'

'No.' he grinned. 'To the house. I'll give you the directions.'

He was unaware, of course, that Orihime was in the very same house he wanted to bring Rukia to.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **RukiYuki, IchiRuki 4vr, FaeofLight, jobananasan, Windy50** , and the **Guest** reviewer!

 **Ichiruki 4vr** , the characters' reactions will be revealed next chapter! Isshin will be making more of an appearance in this story later on. Shiro and Ichigo may get in more trouble than they anticipate.

 **FaeofLight** , thank you so much for your kind words! Your support means so much to me. I'm so glad that you see the different dimensions to Shiro. He's a complicated character to right, but I feel that his motivations and actions in this story are important to write. Shiro doesn't attack unless provoked - and even then, he still has his principles. But push him far enough and he'll bite! Ichigo will be finding out that Rukia's ex-fiancé was Shiro later on. Thanks again for your support and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

 **jobananasan** , Orihime will be getting her turn soon, but I don't think it'll be in the way that you're thinking... DUN DUN DUN. Lmao just kidding, I don't think it'll be that surprising, but I'm hoping that it'll still be a shocker! I'm so excited for the reveal. As for Ichigo, just because he found one person that understands him, doesn't mean he can stop feeling about all the trauma he went through. He was assaulted recently, but he's also been through some very tough times with his family. Then he was thrust into a court case where his father ended up in prison, and suddenly he had to step up and be the man/breadwinner of the house. His wounds are so deep that just because Rukia is in his life, doesn't mean he can heal completely in a brief amount of time. She might be the stepping stone, but he still needs to address his problems. It's not easy to do that, especially with a predator like Orihime breathing down his back. Even if Ichigo gets to that stage where he sort of enjoys the sex, it might just be his way of dealing with it. Rukia mentioned enjoying having sex with Grimmjow's father in **Am I Doing This Right?** but no one said anything about that. I understand Ichigo is a man, but I think he deserves the same amount of sympathy and willingness from others to understand him. Rangiku is petty, but she won't be so bad! Byakuya and Shiro will be having a confrontation soon!

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	14. You Know Where I Live

_Come on... Pick up, child!_

Byakuya Kuchiki was pacing his bedroom back and forth with his cellphone pressed up against his ear. The blasted thing kept ringing and ringing, but never went to voicemail because of course his adopted sister would forget ( _again!_ ) to delete her voice messages and clear up some storage space. He was always on her back about that. One would think that the girl would learn.

The only consolation Byakuya had was that Rukia would be looking at a dozen missed calls from him. _That_ should teach her a lesson!

'Geez, calm down!' Rangiku Matsumoto sat obnoxiously on Byakuya's bed with her legs crossed. She leaned backwards on her palms and admired the marbled, grey aesthetic of his room. It was immaculately clean and generally colourless, devoid of any accents that could give away hidden aspects of Byakuya's personality. 'I can't believe you let me into your room... You're really freaked, huh? You're not even thinking straight.'

'I _always_ think straight.' he snapped before attempting to dial his sister again. 'I simply do not trust you to behave yourself in the waiting room.'

' _Excuse_ me?'

'Who knows what those poorly manicured fingers are going to swipe at when no one is looking.'

'Alright, first of all...' she raised a _perfectly_ manicured finger to show that she meant business and he better listen. 'I'm _perfect_. Second, not everyone can be a business tycoon like yourself, but I make good enough money that I don't need to claw at your wealth to sustain myself. Gosh, you're so full of it!'

'Listen.' Byakuya rubbed his face with a hand, while the other clung to his phone. 'You need to shut up. I need you to stay put while I deal with this-'

'Deal with what?' she challenged, standing up with her arms crossed. 'You know that you're overreacting, right? So I told you that Shiro is Kurosaki Ichigo's brother... What's the problem? I mean, yeah, it sucks for Kuchiki pedigree, but-'

'You also told me...' Byakuya began. 'That the Kurosaki lineage is plagued by an unspecified mental illness.'

'Yeah. So?'

' _So_...' he grit his teeth. 'My sister is essentially standing next to a ticking time bomb parading as her fiancé!'

'No, no.' the lawyer shook her head defensively. 'Shiro's not like that. He can be a bit of jerk sometimes, but he's not crazy-'

'Not _yet_.' he countered. 'He may just be hiding it really well, or he simply has not reached the brink of insanity... _yet_. One cannot trust those who have questionable breeding.'

'Questionable breeding?' Rangiku was losing her patience. 'Do you hear yourself right now? He's not a cow or a pig or some other farm animal that you _breed_. He's a human being. You don't know what he's gone through! When Kurosaki Isshin was sentenced to fourteen years in prison, Shiro picked up the pieces! He did what he could and actually made a name for himself! He's smart. He's persevered through times. He's so much more than this cookie cutter maniac you're making him out to be!'

'I suspected from the beginning that you were fucking him.' Byakuya sighed nonchalantly, shocking his guest. Rangiku's breath caught in her throat and she could do nothing but stare at the businessman, wide-eyed and disbelieving.

 _How did he know?_

'It was odd.' Byakuya continued, flinging his phone clumsily on top of his mahogany dresser. The wood was carved with intricately designed cherry blossom trees, and Rangiku winced at the lack of care Byakuya gave his things. The dresser looked like it cost a small fortune. She supposed, however, that the amount was probably just a drop in the bucket for the Kuchikis.

'What was odd?'

'That you had come to me with such valuable information, and only seeking the dissolution of my sister's engagement to Shiro. You thought you were being sly, but the fact of the matter is that you are a woman scorned. You like him, do you not?'

'Just because I like doesn't mean I want to stay with him.'

'But you want to see him suffer for not returning your feelings, and that in itself is proof of how fond you are of him... Which is why I cannot trust your perception of him. However, I must thank you for this missing piece of the puzzle you have shared with me. The murky waters of the past are making sense to me now.'

'What are you talking about?' she frowned. Byakuya eyed her wearily. He didn't think he should trust this woman, but she was the only connection he had to more valuable information that could finally uncover the truth behind Kaien's murder.

Byakuya wanted the truth for only one reason; to end Rukia's suffering.

Ever since Kaien died, she had completely withdrawn from everyone around her. She was always on guard, and the sweet, affectionate, little girl who once used to crawl into Byakuya and Hisana's bed in the middle of the night because she was afraid of monsters in her closet. The shy Rukia who used to gush to her older brother about her "dreamy" tutor Kaien Shiba was now gone. The adopted noble was now cold, calculating, and obsessed with a dead man. It was nearly inappropriate how stuck she was on her deceased mentor.

Byakuya suspected abuse.

The night of the last session Rukia had with Kaien, she refused dinner. She was cooped up in her room, which was locked. Byakuya had a master key, so he barged inside anyway. To his dismay, he found his sobbing sister buried beneath her blankets. He managed to convince her to come out of hiding, and what happened next was impossibly confusing.

The doctors said that there was no evidence of abuse of any kind. Sure, she had a few bruises on her arm - but she could have just gotten into a spat with a friend, or perhaps she had fallen (although there were no broken skin or fractured bones).

When questioned, Rukia herself failed to be of any help. In fact, she didn't recall the events of that day _at all_. Not even when her brother walked into her room and found her crying all alone.

 _'Do not lie to the nice doctor.' Byakuya scolded her gently. 'Tell him the truth.'_

 _'But I am.' Rukia whispered. 'I woke up and now I'm here.'_

 _'You don't remember going to school?' Dr. Kisuke Urahara pressed. 'Maybe you got into a fight? Don't be scared to tell us. We promise you won't get in trouble. The adults just want to know how you get these bruises.' he gestured to the dotted bruises on her forearm. 'They look like they hurt. We just want to get you better.'_

 _'I'm fine.' Rukia insisted, and there was nothing more that anyone could do._

If Kaien could have abused Rukia due to a mental illness, then Shiro could be just as violent.

Which meant that Rukia was in danger.

'Kuchiki-san.' Rangiku growled. 'I'm asking you what you're talking about.'

'Nothing.' Byakuya murmured before attempting to call Rukia once more.

 _Just pick up the phone and come home, where it's safe._

* * *

'Just take a left here.' Ichigo cooly directed Rukia, who was on the wheel of her vehicle. The pair were on their way to Ichigo's house because... Well. Just because. Quite frankly, Rukia was having second thoughts the entire ride there. The butterflies nipping at her guts were growing more restless as time went on, and her heartbeat was thundering so loudly in her eardrums that it was dizzying. She thought she was going to pass out any second now.

'Hey...' she murmured just loud enough for him to hear. 'Do you even know where we're going? I've been driving for a while now...'

'Pull up here.' Ichigo directed, dismissing her concerns. 'Yeah, that's it; the house with the green roof.'

Rather than park directly in front of the house, Rukia stepped on the brakes just a few paces away from the Kurosaki household. The place was only a few steps away, but in this position, no one inside the house would be able to see her car from inside. After all, Rukia still wanted to keep herself under the radar. She had no idea how his family would be like, and she didn't want to be traceable. Karin, Ichigo's sister who Rukia met briefly before, seemed to be particular about who her brother hung out with. The adopted aristocrat was sure that Karin would be extra attentive to all matters concerning her - she didn't want to give more information about herself than what was absolutely necessary at this point.

'Yo.' Ichigo poked her arm, interrupting her thoughts. He sensed that she was tense. Well, more like he could _see_ it; she was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. 'What's wrong? What are you thinking about?'

'Nothing.' she stated matter-of-factly in that defensive Kuchiki persona she put on when she was uncomfortable.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. He might not have known her for long enough (he'll be the first to admit that), but he was pretty sure that he had a good grasp on her personality by now. Every time she felt like she was being attacked, she became icy. He could tell that it was a learned mechanism that was honed from years of hardship that she had yet to fully open up abut, but he wanted her to know that there was nothing scary about him.

Or rather, he already told her all the scary stuff.

And she was totally fine with it! It was her who said that his past was his past. It was her who approached him, seemingly unaffected by his off-putting history. It was her who told him that he had to move forward because the only one blaming him for anything was himself.

No one made him feel like that; like it was OK, like he could move forward, like he didn't need to beat himself up anymore.

No one gave him strength.

 _No one_.

Except Rukia.

She was a tough cookie. He loved her for it. She had nothing to fear from here on out. For fuck's sake, she was just going to meet his sisters! She already met Karin in less than desirable circumstances and she did just fine! She had no reason to be nervous about all of this.

'Hey...' he reached over to curl a lock of hair over her ear. 'You'll be fine.'

'I won't be fine.' she snapped, shrugging him off. 'I... I'm not this person that you think I am.'

'Rukia.'

'You think I'm this perfect supermodel, and I'm really not. I feel like you put me on a pedestal and you don't see me the way others see me, or the way you should.'

'I see the _real_ you.' he insisted. His hand came up to cup her chin and move her head to the side so that she was forced to look at him. 'Don't you think the real you is wonderful?'

'Ichigo, you're a fool.' she averted her gaze. 'You're a stupid, _stupid_ -'

'You're crazy and mean.'

'Am I blushing?'

'And so graceful in everything that you do. You mean well, you _always_ mean well and that makes you a beautiful person.'

'You don't know that I mean well.' she huffed indignantly. He chuckled at her stubborn attitude. Of course, he didn't catch the implication of her words. Rukia was alluding to the fact that her intentions weren't exactly pure when she first made contact with Ichigo; a man she convinced herself to hate for the last three years, but also the same man who she was surely falling for. She kept telling herself that she'd woman up and be honest about the past, but she never felt like it was the right time.

Was this very moment the right moment?

When he was fawning over her before introducing her to his family?

Her stomach churned. Obviously, this wasn't the ideal situation to reveal her darkest secrets to him. But she should do it soon. Real soon. She and Ichigo were growing more and more serious by the second, faster than she ever thought was possible.

Rukia had a bad habit of putting up walls with people. Ichigo was the only man who had convinced her to break these walls down so quickly. For some reason, Rukia wanted to let him in. She wanted so badly for this all to work out, because this man made her feel so comfortable around him, and in her own skin. She didn't feel like she had to put on a mask, although she still resorted to the safety of her Kuchiki facade whenever she felt threatened. And yet, she didn't feel like she was in any danger around him. She almost felt safe. Like nothing bad could happen to her with Ichigo at her side, because he was so kind and good and sweet that he could attract no evil.

'By the way...' he interrupted her thoughts. 'Before I forget, would you mind giving me your number?'

'W-What?!' Rukia choked on nothing. Her cheeks tinted a darker shade of mad red with every thunderous bang her heart took against her ribcage. Even though she and Ichigo should have been way past the initial, giddy stages of dating, the fact that he wanted her number still flattered her tremendously.

Being a workaholic, Rukia never really had time to date. Getting involved with Shiro was more of a calculating, heartless move than anything else, so she never really embarked on an emotional rollercoaster in regards to that.

On the other hand, this time around, she was actually seriously interested in Ichigo. She was wildly attracted to most everything about him; the physical, the internal, and even his annoying impulsivity. But most of all, she loved the liberation. She could be unapologetically herself and he would accept her without question.

He was the only person to ever do that for her.

'Rukia.' he cleared his throat. He wasn't about to give up so easily, despite her ominous pause. 'Your number?'

'Ah...' she quietly swallowed a lump in her throat before digging into her purse for her phone. _Perfect_. The damn thing was nowhere to be found. 'Sorry... I think I left my phone at the office...'

'Then tell me what your number is.' he persisted, hoping she wasn't making this up to get rid of him. 'I'll shoot you a text with my name or something.'

She laughed. 'You just don't give up, do you?'

'Not even if you push me away.' he confirmed.

Rukia happily dictated her cellular number out loud, which Ichigo made sure to enter into his phone then and there.

'Come on, we're wasting time.' she smiled. 'Your sisters might be getting ready for bed soon.'

'Trust me, they don't sleep until late. Yuzu's always fixing up the house. I think she's got OCD. Karin, on the other hand, just likes to play video games... She's really smart, you know? She doesn't study a lot, but her grades are really good.'

'Karin-chan's the one I met, right?'

'Yeah.'

'She's... Is she going to be there right now?'

'Rukia.' he flashed her a warm smile. 'Don't worry. You'll be fine.'

'I'm just saying that it must have been weird for her to see her brother with some woman she's never met before...' glossy blues were downcast. 'I'd find it strange.'

'Hey...' he leaned over to her seat so that he could whisper into her ear. 'You'll be fine. You're an amazing woman. The only thing that they'll find strange is how I ever managed to get someone like you to give me a chance.'

'I never said I was giving you a chance.' Rukia huffed haughtily.

He chuckled briefly. 'Well, you don't have to say anything...'

As if she knew all the steps to a secret, choreographed dance, Rukia turned her head to face him so that he could press his open mouth on hers. Her eyelids shut, and his warm palms cupped her face. Wet tongues mingled once more, but neither of them could ever get past the electricity that shot up their spines whenever they did this. Ichigo decided that he was never going to get used to it - and he wasn't complaining.

Intimacy was always fun with Rukia. It was always exciting, awkward, and most of all, satisfying in more ways than one. Of course she turned him on - _duh_. But what he had with her was more than just sensual, instant gratification. Even when she wasn't around him, he thought about her. He would wonder how she was doing, who she was with, and if she was still wearing those sky-high heels that caused him to bite his lip with desire. When she was insecure, he was compelled to tell her just how beautiful and wonderful she was - because she really, truly was, and she should know that more than anyone else. But part of Rukia's charm was her lack of self-awareness.

And whenever she threw him a bone; a girlish glint in her eyes, or a particularly lovely intonation when she says his name - well, moments like those kept him smiling like a fool for hours on end.

He's in love.

He knows. She doesn't know yet. He'll tell her when he's ready.

'Come on.' he whispered against her lips. If he didn't break this off now, he'd never want to get out of her car. 'Let's go.'

She nodded.

They left her car, and Rukia nervously tiptoed behind Ichigo along the path leading to the Kurosaki household's entrance. He looked over his shoulder to see if she was doing alright (she wasn't). She was fidgeting and fixing her hair even though it was absolutely perfect. He extended a hand out, which she took. Immediately, her anxiety quelled.

People could be so cold, but Ichigo was always warm.

Hand in hand, they walked right up to the doorway. Ichigo rang the bell, although the pair could hear laughter emanating from the house.

'Sounds like they're having fun.' the orange-haired youth grinned to his crush. 'You're going to have a good time too. They're really nice.'

'Mhmm.'

A moment passed. Ichigo rang the doorbell again. The laughter continued, and he heard Yuzu say that she was going to get the door. _It must be Onii-chan!_ she says, _He knows you're here!_

His stomach sank.

Who knows he's here?

Why did he suddenly have a bad feeling about this?

'Kurosaki-kun's here?' Orihime's voice quipped with sickening sweetness.

Ichigo couldn't wait to be let in.

To Rukia's surprise, he swung the door open so hard that it banged up against the wall.

'Wait!' she called after him, but he was stomping his way into his home. She thought that was odd, but more importantly, she knew that he was upset and she didn't know why. They were kissing and smiling only a moment ago. What happened? Was something wrong? 'Ichigo, come on!' Rukia calls after him as she follows suit. She normally never enters someone else's home without kicking off her shoes, but her aristocratic training is forgotten. The impulsive teenage boy makes it to the living room, where he stops dead in his tracks and Rukia is relieved that he stopped running. 'Ichigo, geez... What's wrong? Why-'

'Kurosaki-kun, welcome home!'

Rukia is stunned.

A ridiculously beautiful woman with vibrant, voluminous goddess curls and bright eyes rushes over to Ichigo. Orihime leaves a trail of cinnamon dust behind her, and it wafts over the petite businesswoman's face when the taller lady wraps her arms around Ichigo's neck and gives him a hard kiss on the mouth. Rukia is unable to prevent an audible gasp from escaping her throat. Sure, she was surprised by this woman's forwardness... But even more so than that, Rukia was _upset_ that Ichigo didn't make a move to push Orihime away from him. He didn't kiss her back either, but his complacency cut Rukia deep.

'Kurosaki-kun!' Orihime repeated, her hands on Ichigo's shoulders as he stared at her with an open jaw. 'I haven't seen you in a while, so I checked to see if you were with Yuzu-chan and Karin-chan. But then even though you weren't, we had so much fun just hanging out!'

'Orihime-chan has really interesting recipes!' Yuzu piped up, her eyes twinkling with girlish delight. It was obvious that she actually had fun in Orihime's presence, and that she admired the older woman. Ichigo's stomach somersaulted. 'We were exchanging ideas for dinner tonight! Orihime-chan has a different take on traditional dishes... She modernizes it a bit, but you know that, don't you Onii-chan? I'm sure you've had your girlfriend's cooking, after all!'

 _Oh._

The back of Rukia's eyeballs burn with something akin to betrayal, but she knows that she shouldn't be so quick to blow up. It wasn't like she was Ichigo's girlfriend anyway. Still, if he was already seeing someone, then she didn't want to be that _person_. She'd have to talk to him about it later. Besides, maybe a reasonable explanation would crop up in that conversation. She just had to keep a cool head, quell her emotions, and just get through this awkward meeting.

Despite Rukia's best efforts to keep calm, there must have been a change in her aura, because Ichigo glanced at her over his shoulder and flashed her kind, soulful eyes.

And somehow, Rukia knew that she had to trust him.

So she didn't say anything.

'Hey, Rukia-chan.' Karin cleared her throat as she walked up to the noble. What a nasty situation. Her brother's girlfriends meeting for the first time... Karin always thought teenage boys were stupid, so she didn't find this predicament particularly peculiar. Although it went against her principles, Karin decided that she'd help her brother diffuse the situation before it got weird. 'Nice to see you again. I need to show you something outside, why don't we-'

'Hi!' Orihime waved a hand in Rukia's direction. 'I'm Inoue Orihime!'

'Kuchiki Rukia.' she returned, off-put by Karin's less-than-subtle efforts to remove her from the house.

'Rukia-chan.' Karin interjected. 'Come on. I need to show you-'

'What the _fuck_ are you doing here, Inoue?' Ichigo demanded. He was furious and his voice failed to hide it.

'Onii-chan, what's wrong?' Yuzu was worried. 'You're acting strange. You shouldn't talk to your girlfriend like that...'

'Inoue is _not_ my girlfriend.' he spoke through clenched teeth. He had tried so hard to keep up the facade that Orihime was his girlfriend when Yuzu was in the hospital because he didn't want to give his sisters reason to worry. Truthfully, if Rukia wast around, then he'd probably go along with all of this nonsense. Unfortunately, right now, he wasn't thinking straight. No, he was over it. He was angry and resentful and frustrated that he couldn't shake Orihime off of him.

'Well, I was your girlfriend when you were taking money from me.' the baker said off-handedly, not caring that the Kurosaki twins were in the room. The identical pair were paralyzed with shock. What did this woman just say? Money? Their brother was taking money from his girlfriend?

Everything fell into place in Rukia's mind. Ichigo mentioned to her before that there was a woman he had to entertain to secure funds for Yuzu's hospital bills. This... This must be the woman.

How horrible.

'Inoue.' he raised a hand. 'Don't.'

'What? It's true. Is that all it was then, Kurosaki-kun? You only loved me when you had an allowance?'

'Oh, please. You are fucking disgusting.' Rukia, against her better judgement, butted in. She was, however, careful to remain cryptic as to not wrongfully expose Ichigo. 'Do you hear yourself right now? You know what you did. How dare you imply that Ichigo was in the wrong-'

'You call him Ichigo?' Orihime raised her brows. 'Wow. You guys are that familiar with each other?' she tilted her head and scanned Rukia from head-to-toe. 'Nice clothes. You look rich. Do you give him money too? Hey, Kurosaki-kun.' she turned her attention to her former employee. 'Did you fuck her for money, too?'

Yuzu's face fell.

'You're disgusting!' Rukia pointed a finger accusingly at Orihime and wedged herself between the beautiful woman and Ichigo so that the "girlfriend" was forced to let go of Ichigo's shoulders. 'How dare you touch him! How dare you talk to anybody like this! Who do you think you are?! You-'

'Rukia.' Ichigo gently swept Rukia to the side. 'Please stay out of this!'

'Ichi-!'

'Rukia.' he repeated more sternly. 'Please leave. I need to do this alone.'

Crestfallen, Rukia shot him a disbelieving look as if to say _Are you serious?_ But one look at the determination on his face forced Rukia to set her pride and concern aside. True; this was Ichigo's business. It involved his family, and his own personal villain. He only met Rukia recently... Why should she be allowed to be a part of this? This was a problem that Ichigo had to deal with on his own. Rukia had to respect his wishes and trust that he'd be alright.

'Sure.' Rukia mumbled, making her way out the door. 'I'm sorry. Excuse me.'

'Rukia-chan-' Karin began, but Rukia had already left.

When the Kuchiki heiress made her way back to her car, her brain was cursed with tunnel vision. She was breathing hard and her heart raced dangerously so that each heavy thump reverberated painfully in her eardrums. She was floating on her stilettos effortlessly, but she felt as if the pavement was cracking beneath her. The adrenaline rush took away from her cautiousness, so she didn't sense anything wrong when she slid into the driver's seat of her car.

 _Please be OK, Ichigo._

That thought played in a loop in her head, but she fought the urge to turn right back and let Orihime have it. Ichigo wouldn't be happy with that. She had to trust him, she had to believe in him, she had to respect him.

She had to leave him alone. Just for now.

'Fuck.' she cursed when her shaking fingers reached into her breast pocket for her keys. 'Fuck, fuck-'

'Fucking drive.' a familiar voice barked as she felt the cold end of a gun press on her temple.

Rukia was speechless. Her eyes darted to her peripheral, where Shiro was, perched on the passenger's seat with murderous intent scrunching his sharp features painfully. How had she not seen him? Was she so into her emotions that she failed to notice?

'Shiro.' Rukia swallowed hard. 'What are you doing?'

'I told you.' he hissed. 'I told you that if you ever came for Ichigo, that I would come for you ten times over. You know, you almost convinced me, Rukia.' he chuckled humourlessly. 'I thought I was wrong for a second. Thought that maybe you really weren't after my brother, but way to prove me wrong, huh?'

'It's not what you t-think.' her voice was shaky. 'Please put t-that away. Listen t-to me. You're wrong.'

'Shut your fucking mouth.' he pressed the gun harder against her head and she whimpered. 'Fucking drive. _Now_.'

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **RukiYuki, Kidzin, IchiRuki 4vr, IRReader, FaeofLight,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **IchiRuki 4vr,** nor does it bode well for Rukia! Rukia will have another confrontation with Orihime, but she has to be confronted by Shiro first.

 **FaeofLight** , I'm so glad that you understand the psychology that I am attempting to underline in this story! There's some trauma exploration I want to do next chapter, and I hope to hear your thoughts on it! It's always so nice to read your reviews.

 **IRReader** , I promise that it will come in later chapters!

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	15. Sick People

'What?' Yuzu breathed. Her features are saturated with contempt, but she's trying to stay collected. She's a firm believer in remaining calm, and she can already tell that this is hard conversation for her brother, so she doesn't want to add onto the stress he's feeling. Besides, maybe she heard Orihime wrong. It's almost like Orihime said that Ichigo was fucking her for money.

That can't be right.

Can it?

'Well, Kurosaki-kun?' the beautiful baker places her hands on her hips. She flashes one of her signature bright smiles, but no one in the house is falling for her charm today. Ichigo stares at her with cold eyes, and the twins are anxiously waiting for the next move in this drama as their shock subsides.

The girls just heard that their brother faked a relationship for money.

Worse, they heard that he fucked for money.

That... That can't be right. This is Ichigo, after all. Maybe Shiro would have done it, but Ichigo was always noble and proud and on the right end of things. None of this could be true. Besides, Orihime was such a nice woman. Yuzu even thought that she was sort of like their late mother. There's no way a pleasant woman like that would offer money in exchange for fulfilling her lust. That's... No. That's not real.

'You got, like what, 500,000 yen off of me? Just so you know, that's a lot of money. Especially since the sex wasn't even that good.'

'Don't talk like that in front of my sisters.' he barks, earning a jolt from his former boss. 'Don't you ever talk like that in front of them again. They don't deserve to hear your depravity.'

'Onii-chan, what's Orihime-chan talking about?'

It was a risk to ask, but the sisters had to know.

What has their brother been up to?

'Don't worry about it, Yuzu.' he lowers his voice to a comforting octave. 'It's nothing you need to worry about. Just...'

'I paid for your hospital bills, Yuzu-chan.' Orihime declares off-handedly. 'Kurosaki-kun couldn't pay, so he let me do it... I thought he was in love with me, but he only wanted to use me-'

'Oh give it a rest, Inoue.' he snaps, stepping forward. 'Like you didn't know what you were doing.'

'What was I doing, Kurosaki-kun? Besides helping you and your family, only for you to take advantage of me.'

'Come on, Inoue! As if you wouldn't have done the same thing if you were in my position!'

'Onii-chan.' Yuzu interjects, harder this time. 'What's going on?'

'Nothing, Yuzu. Just... I'll explain another time, but Inoue and I need to have a private conversation-'

'No, let's have a public conversation!' the deceitfully sweet lady grins confidently. Ichigo's face fell and her ego grows. She knows she's hurting him, which might prompt him to get on his knees and beg for her forgiveness. And if it didn't , she'll be comforted by the fact that she's essentially ruined his life forever. After this revelation, neither of the twins would be able to look at their brother the same again. 'I don't have anything to hide. I didn't do anything wrong.'

'Yeah, and you don't think it's wrong to bring up this inappropriate topic in front of my family?' he presses, rage sparking within liquid ambers so that flecks of fire were intimidating to look at - not that Orihime was intimidated at all. Actually, she was pleased to see that she stimulated this reaction from him. It just goes to show that even though she wasn't riding him, she could still fuck with his head. He was still hers in many ways. She decided to appreciate that fact.

'Don't you think they have a right to know, Kurosaki-kun?'

'Why are you doing this, Orihime-chan?' Karin finally speaks up. 'Aren't you his girlfriend? Why are you making him uncomfortable? He obviously doesn't wanna talk about any of this, so why do you insist on making him upset?'

'We aren't dating, no.' Orihime purses her lips. 'It's more like... When he needs my money, he fucks me.'

' _Enough_ , Inoue.'

'Onii-chan, so it's true.' Yuzu's lower lip quivers. Tears are pooling in her eyes and it's getting harder to see the world clearly. Her head hurts - damn, why does her head hurt so much? She feels like her skull's being split in two. 'I thought... I thought maybe I heard it wrong, but-'

'I'm sorry, Yuzu.' he whispers, lowering his head. His eyes are dark and his expression is unreadable. The twins' hearts ache just looking at him, but they also don't know the words to say to make this all better. 'I didn't think I had a choice... You know that if I had the money, I wouldn't have shamed you all.'

'You didn't shame us!' Yuzu sobs. 'You... Thank you, Onii-chan. And I'm sorry that you felt like you had to do that to support me. I don't want you to do that for me. I'm sorry. I'm so, so-'

'Yuzu!' Karin opens her arms to catch her sister's collapsing form.

* * *

 _He has a gun,_ Rukia reminds herself.

She parked the car in the garage of her condominium, where Shiro warned her to act natural all the way up to her suite if she didn't want him to lodge a bullet in her skull. She took the threat seriously, but also contemplated that if she bumped into anyone and screamed for help, he wasn't stupid enough to shoot her then and then. He'd have to run and she'd be safe.

It sounded so logical in her head. So simple, so easy, so logical.

But as she stood in the elevator with her captor and three other people, she couldn't find it in herself to say anything. Shiro is standing right behind her, and she knows that he's hidden the gun inside his black suit jacket. It's there, it's there; it has bullets and can fire off and hit people and it's scary. The possibility of this madman going berserk was too plausible and real in her mind. She didn't want to be responsible for that. It was fine if it was just her, but she could never forgive herself for putting anyone else in harm's way.

'Good night.' a lady called after the pair when they stepped out of the elevator and onto Rukia's floor. The noble gave the stranger a small smile, while Shiro gently ushered her out the doors, which closed behind them shortly after.

They walk along the corridor. Every step is heavy. Her vision is blurring and she already feels like crying. They exchange no words, but she knows that he's plotting his attack in his head.

She keys the lock open.

They step inside.

'How dare you.' he growls as he pushed her up against the wall of her suite. He kicks the door shut behind him and presses his weight on her. 'How dare you, how dare you, how fucking dare you-' his breath is hot on her mouth and their noses are touching, but she refuses to let him see any fear in her eyes. 'That's my _brother_! How dare you go near him! You think I don't know what you're after?' he chuckles darkly, his hands flying up to wring her neck without much pressure - but the message is clear; she's at his mercy. 'You think I don't know about your vindictive bullshit? Oh, Rukia… Rukia, Rukia, you just couldn't let things go, huh?'

She swallows hard but forces herself to look at him in the eye.

She hasn't done anything wrong. She's innocent. She feels no guilt.

Sure, her intentions weren't pure in the beginning, but all that's changed now. Ichigo is… He's wonderful. He's kind and good, and she wants him to be happy. She would never, ever hurt him, not in a million years.

She can't.

' _Answer_ me, Rukia.' a hand leaves her neck to fist her hair and he tugs so harshly that she begins to see stars. He yanks her head back so that she's forced to look up at him. She thinks that there's no sight more intimidating than his furious, golden irises gleaming against his marble-smooth skin. He's cold and it hurts, but she's not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her in pain. ' _Rukia_.'

'What do you want me to say?' she managed in as stern a voice as she can muster (it's not stern at all). 'I already told you, you're misundersta-a-ah!' she cries out because the hand left on her neck suddenly squeezes.

'I saw you two kissing.' he reveals. 'I saw how he looks at you; all puppy eyes and lip-biting. So what'd you do, huh?' he leans in to whisper into her ear. He grazes his teeth along the cartilage and asks gruffly, 'Did you give him head?'

She can't control the spark of fire that sends her fist flying into his cheek. His head whips to the side and she takes the opportunity to kick him. He backs off and she tries to run, but even when he's not in tip-top shape, he's in _good_ shape. So despite the small disturbance, he grabs onto her arm and drags her towards the bathroom. She throws punches at his hand as she tries to shake him off but in reality, she knows that her efforts are futile. It's not resistance that will save her, but her willingness to appease him.

This could all go away. She could get on her knees and promise to never see Ichigo again. She could apologize for her "bad" behaviour and beg him not to hurt her because he's so big and strong and mean that he can anything he wants to her, right? Because he's on top. Because he's powerful. She knows what he wants to hear, but it makes her sick to even entertain the idea of stroking his bloated ego.

'Fuck you, Shiro! Let me go! Stop! Just _stop_ , you're misunderstanding this whole thing!'

He begins to drag her into her own bathroom. She's puzzled as to why he's chosen to bring her here, but doesn't have the courage to ask him. Adrenaline pumps through her veins. She might be seeing red, but then again, all the colours around her seem to be a thousand times more vibrant than she remembered them to be. The orange of the tiles, the white of her bathtub, the grey of the metal railings and curtains; they're tauntingly bright. And right in the middle of this blinding array of color was the alabaster Shiro, twisting her arm and snarling at her like she he intended to have her for dinner.

'Tell me, bitch. _Tell me_.' he baits her. 'Tell me what I'm misunderstanding 'cause from where I'm standing, it looks like you've been riding Ichigo's dick to satisfy some sick curiosity about my dead cousin! You think I don't know, babe?' he pulls her closer. She struggles against him, but it's useless. 'What've you been digging for, huh? Think I don't know that you've been trying to reopen that case? What do you want? To send my brother to prison? You like riding convicted felons, huh? You got some fucked up fetishes, Rukia.'

'Fuck you, Shiro!' she's losing her temper. Even though she's faced with this monster, she can no longer hold in her anger. If he was going to insult her, demean her, then she wasn't going to play nice either. Although, she isn't exactly thinking this through. Thoughts of getting back at this hateful man, of hurting him like he's hurting her, are too tempting to push away. 'If anyone's the freak between us, it's you! You're the womanizer, the nymphomaniac, the _evil_ -'

'Bitch, really? I'm the evil one? _You're_ the one digging for the devil!'

'I don't need to dig for him, he's right here in front of me!'

He scoffs.

He grins.

With his free hand, he unveils the gun hidden in his garments and presses it up under her chin.

'No more games.' he warns, and an involuntary whimper escapes her. 'Alright, sweetheart? You have five minutes to explain yourself before I blow your pretty, princess head off.'

'You wouldn't.'

'Wanna bet?' he presses the gun harder on her skin. 'You're forgetting that Kaien was my cousin. You think I don't have buddies over at the police? Babe, I don't care how rich or entitled you are, I'll make sure that your life's a living hell if I don't kill you tonight, do you understand?'

'You're psychotic.' she growls through grit teeth. 'You think you can get away with doing this to me, with _threatening_ me-'

'I am _not_ threatening you - I am _warning_ you. You crossed a _line_ , Rukia. You crossed my _brother._ So I'm going to cross _you_.'

'I would never cross him you idiot, I _love_ him!'

As soon as the words left her, a pregnant pause waltzed between them. Shiro's surprised stare quickly shifts to concern, then fear. But Rukia keeps her posture perfect; her chest is puffed up and somehow, she no longer feels the gun. Both she and Shiro had come to this realization just now. The noble didn't want to admit it at first, but she finally understands the reason her grudge has dissipated and why she can't seem to leave Ichigo alone.

She _loves_ him.

In some weird, irrational, fucked up way; she loves being around him, she loves who he is, she loves how he makes her feel and she's not going to sacrifice all of that to fulfill a grudge she would be better off letting go of anyway.

She loves him.

'I love him.' she continues bravely. 'That's why I can't... I won't hurt him. No matter what. I'll never hurt Ichigo, so what you think I am, I'm not.'

Gold glares at her for what seems like an eternity. She starts to believe that the silence is a good thing. Is he processing what she's saying? Does he believe her? How can he not, when she's overcome with emotion? The sincerity in her eyes is impossible to miss. If he loves his brother so much, shouldn't he happy that someone loves Ichigo just as much as he does?

Maybe this silence is a good thing.

Maybe he'll let her go.

He doesn't.

He shoves the gun into the back pocket of his jeans and turns his captive around. Instinctively, she crouches low because that's the only escape she sees; from under him, maybe she can dart away. But he's too fast for her. His arms wrap around her and his body is bent over hers, every cold vein pulsating ominously on her skin like a snake who's coiled around its prey. She tries to push him off, but he lifts her up slightly and bends her over the bathtub. She throws blind punches at him, but barely even hits him.

Shiro's sort of amused by this. Mostly enraged, though. She's putting up a fight and actually tried to convince him of this sickeningly syrupy love story - ha! Like he was going to believe her. If anything, this is confirmation that Rukia just wants to reopen the case to send Ichigo to jail because this bitch won't be satisfied until every single member of the Kurosaki family is behind bars or locked up in a mental facility. Nothing will ever make Kaien's death acceptable to Rukia, which is why she's so dangerous to the Kurosaki family. She's vindictive. She's lost her mind and she's taking everyone down with her.

At least, that's what Shiro thinks.

Which is proof enough that he doesn't understand her, nor does he really love her.

'Let me go!' she cries, flailing wildly. 'Don't touch me! You're disgusting! Let me go, you bastard!'

An arm constricts around her waist while the other leaves her so that he can reach over to the faucet. The water runs and he makes sure that the drain is covered. Rukia watches in horror as the water level rises dangerously quickly, and her panic increases tenfold. All the courage she felt earlier? Gone. Long gone. She's scared. She wants out, but she's not going to get it.

'What are you doing?!' she barely whispers. 'Shiro, don't! What are you-'

One hand on her waist.

Another grabbing a fistful of hair at the back of her head.

'Shiro, please-!'

He dips her head into the icy tub. Her arms reach in front of her, to her side, to behind her, _anywhere_ to try and free herself. There's no mercy in his grasp. He holds her down, gnashing his teeth at the sight because he doesn't think this is enough to compensate for the psychological manipulation he believes she's done to his brother. After a few seconds go by, he pulls her up, and she gasps for breath.

'No, no, stop, please _stop_!' she begs.

He doesn't listen.

He repeats the action, and she screams into the water. When he pulls her back up again, no words escape her, but she's a sobbing mess. She's coughing and trembling, but he's far from finished.

 _'I saw her.'_

The water's so cold. Every time he dunks her back in, it just seems to get colder.

 _'What do you mean?' Kaien tilted his head quizzically. He set his pencil down on an open notebook (amongst hundreds of open notebooks... Byakuya insisted that Rukia study all her subjects, plus advanced courses, every single day) 'You saw Miyako?'_

When she screams, the bubbles shroud her face, and the dark depths of her mind deepen.

 _'I saw her pick up my classmate after class today.' a young Rukia chirped happily._

 _'Which classmate?'_

 _'Some really mean-looking guy with orange hair.'_

'Still think I won't hurt you?' Shiro hisses into her ear.

 _'I'm sorry, Rukia.' Kaien covered his face with his hands. The poor girl was crying in a corner, clutching the arm her mentor had grabbed painfully. 'I don't know what come over me. I told you, there's something seriously wrong up in my head. I'm sorry, I...'_

Eventually, he stops.

When she stops struggling, that is.

In an unexpected move, he holds Rukia's shaking form in his arms. Despite what just happened, she curls up into a ball and allows the contact.

Without shame, Shiro strokes her wet locks with one hand as the other remains coiled around her. She can't even find it in her to stiffen. This is disgusting. He's a pig and she hates him and she wants him off of her, but she doesn't have any fighting spirit left in her.

He's tender but she's terrified. She wants to kick him and knock all his teeth out, but she's too busy cowering to see to it that her dreams come to fruition.

She's crumbled.

He's won.

He's bigger and stronger, and apparently, he's got more friends.

She can't believe what just happened.

'Don't ever try me again.' his voice is crystal clear. 'Stay away from my brother and my family, Rukia. Or I will come back for you, and I will _demolish_ you.'

He leaves.

Then she's bent over the toilet seat, bile and disgust and fear spewing from her mouth in its bitter mix. No matter how much she throws up, she can't seem to alleviate the badness she feels inside. Fuck, she feels horrible. She feels like her bones have liquified and her muscles have atrophied and her heart has burst and all the regret she's ever felt is coursing painfully through her bloodstream like battery acid. Her head is pounding, she can't think straight - scratch that, she can't think at all. She wants to go to bed, but she's pretty sure she's already in a nightmare.

It's gotta be a nightmare.

* * *

Ichigo tucks his sister's unconscious body into bed.

After Yuzu fainted, Karin caught her sister before handing her to Ichigo, who then took her upstairs. Karin told Orihime to go home, and that if she had business with Ichigo, to attend to it in her own time because he obviously wasn't happy with making his private affairs public. However, Karin also warned the older woman not to go near her brother again because the protective Kurosaki sibling would go to great lengths to ensure that her brother was protected.

It was an empty threat, of course. Karin wouldn't do anything because she knew that Ichigo wouldn't want her to.

But thoughts of police being called invaded Orihime's brain. The once-innocent baker thought of her bank statements, of her frequent visits to Ichigo's apartment and how that was all probably caught on a CCTV, or at least those visits could be confirmed by witnesses who lived in the same apartment. Orihime may love torturing Ichigo, but she loves herself more. She's not going to risk going to prison or getting arrested.

And so Orihime left.

'I think she'll be fine by the morning.' Ichigo clears his throat when he shut the door behind him. There are dark bags under his eyes and he somehow looks thinner - probably because his face shows evident signs of stress. Karin just wanted to hug him, but Ichigo would just worry if she did that.

'I see... I think so too. Thanks for coming by, Ichi-nii.'

'No problem. Although...'

'What?'

'Listen.' he rubs his face with his hands. His heart is pounding. He's so embarrassed and pissed and scared at the same time. He can't even look at Karin in the eye anymore, and he doesn't think he'll be able to face Yuzu again after today. Fucking disgusting. He's fucking disgusting and now everyone knows it.

He can't show his face around here anymore.

'What is it, Ichi-nii?'

'Everything Orihime said was true. I _did_ sleep with her for money.'

Silence engulfs them. Is Karin disgusted? She hates to admit it, but she is - not that she would ever let her brother know that. It's a knee-jerk reaction brought about by her social conditioning. She tries hard to appear unfazed, but Ichigo sees right past her. He knows his little sister all too well by now. He can easily tell when something's amiss by a shift of light in her eyes. It was kind of sad, actually. Even though he isn't surprised. Because sure, he can't blame anyone for reaction a certain way. Everyone's entitled to their opinion, but he somehow hoped that Karin would be immune to the initial bitterness.

Not to mention Yuzu.

Yuzu's going to take it the hardest, he can tell. The fact that she fainted, that her body shut down from the psychological burn of knowing that her brother degraded himself for her - that's the bit Ichigo regrets the most. Knowing Yuzu, she's going to blame herself. She's going to take all her feelings on alone and there's nothing he can say to make it better because Yuzu's self-deprecating like that. And kind of selfish too, because she's going to make it about herself and take away from him.

She means well, but...

It's too much to ask to be understood, huh?

'Why didn't you let Onii-san pay for it, Ichi-nii? You didn't have to shoulder the bill by yourself. Onii-san cares. He would've paid for it.'

'I really wasn't thinking straight, Karin.' he sighs. 'I was just so _desperate_ to actually help out. Besides, it took Shiro a day to even get to the hospital. Without a deposit, the staff wouldn't have touched Yuzu.'

'I know, but...'

'But _nothing_.'

'Ichi-nii-'

'Listen, I know what I did is morally questionable.'

'That's fine.' Karin furrows her brows, fighting back tears. 'So what, Ichi-nii? No one's judging you. We love you. We know you did it for us, so-'

'Karin, you can't even look at me straight in the eye.'

'Ichi-nii.'

'I have to go.' he hurries off. Karin grabs onto his shirt from behind him, but he shrugs himself free of her. He practically flies down the stairs with his sister trailing behind him, shouting his name, but the humiliation is too powerful. He wants to get out of here. The very walls of his own house are closing in on him. He can't breathe. He can't see anything but the light at the other end of the door leading outside.

He needs to get out of here.

He can't come back here again.

Where does he go? Who does he go to? He can't face his family anymore. Who does he have left?

When he finds himself alone in a busier, commercialized part of town, he leans against a wall to catch his breath. Wow, what a run. He'd been meaning to work out anyway. Even though he was escaping from a chaotic situation, he feels oddly relieved. Surrounded by the hustle and bustle of total strangers, he feels like he can be himself; at least more so than when he's with people who (ironically) love him, but are unable to gaze at him with non-judgemental eyes.

Ambers glide up to view a beautiful, full moon.

He's reminded of someone.

'Shit.' he curses under his breath, aware now of the fact that Rukia was nowhere in sight when he bolted out the door of the Kurosaki household. She must've been pissed, or at least worried. That woman might not like to showcase emotions, but she failed at concealing them.

Thankfully, he got her number earlier on - that triumph was at the back of his head.

He whips out his phone and dials her number. Despite what just transpired with his sisters, he's excited at the prospect of seeing Rukia again. Sure, he's kind of sad - but spending time with Rukia was a happy reminder that he'd be able to make more happy memories, because being with her was an inherently happy experience.

It rings.

Butterflies nip at his insides.

More ringing.

He shifts restlessly from one foot to the other.

She picks up.

'Ichigo...' she croaks on the other end of the line, and his stomach sinks.

'Hey...' he murmurs as soothingly as he can. 'What's up? You sound sorta down...'

'Ichigo.' she repeats with a sob. 'Ichigo, you called-'

'Where are you? I'll come to you, so-'

'Yes, please.' she whines, unable to prevent the tears from choking her. 'I'm scared. Please be with me, please.'

He doesn't hesitate to ask her where to go.

She was there for him.

It's his time to do the same for her.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **FaeofLight, MugetsuIchigo, Flynnchan, NieveDrop, hinataellis, RukiYuki, blissbeat** , **jobananasan, Amethyst hazel, shirayukideathberry, Inverse L. Reena** , **gin** , and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **IchiRuki 4vr,** Shiro didn't hear anything that happened inside the house! Rukia wanted to tell Ichigo sooner, but she never felt like it was the right time. She knows he's under a lot of stress and doesn't want to add onto it.

 **shirayukideathberry,** welcome back! Don't even worry about it. I'm just so happy to keep enjoying your support. I hope that everything goes well and that you are still enjoying being a part of this fandom!

 **NieveDrop** , lol you summarized it well! That's pretty much what all these characters are going through. Byakuya will definitely be more involved! Oh my gosh, are you serious? I never knew that it wasn't pleasant! Baked goods always smell so good, so I thought that it would be a pleasant aroma to take home! I've never worked at a bakery, but I pass by one all the time, and I drool every time I do, ughhhhhh.

 **jobananasan** , Ichigo will not run back to Orihime! Kaien's wasn't abusing her on a regular basis, but that will become clearer - it's connected to Rukia's memory loss. Rangiku might not be able to help directly, but her thirst for vengeance against Shiro may encourage her to do things that will be advantageous to Rukia later on, at least in regards to getting rid of Shiro from her life.

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	16. Cracks

Rukia can't stop crying.

She's on her hands and knees, wiping away the shallow puddles pooling at her bathroom floor. Her wet clothes from earlier are already in the wash, and she changed into a loose, white shirt and jeans (she can't remember the last time she wore jeans). The wet cloth she's using to do the job is soaked, and she squeezes its contents into the bathtub before draining it. Just looking at the icy water of the tub makes her stomach somersault, but she tries to ignore it because she needs to get this shit clean. She's not going to stay away from her own bathroom just because fucking Shiro decided to throw a tantrum.

 _It's not that big of a deal_ , she tries telling herself, _It's just a nightmare, it's not real._

Rukia has a bad habit of denying reality.

It's a learned mechanism her brain triggers whenever she deems a situation has the potential to traumatize her. She never wants to be weak, and dealing with needless emotions was a sign of weakness to her. So every time something bad happened to her, she pushed it to the back of her head until she deluded herself into thinking that it was just a bad dream, or until she forgot about it altogether.

Just like that time Kaien snapped at her.

Unfortunately, it was the last interaction they ever had.

 _It was during their final tutoring session for the week. Earlier on that day at school, the vehicle that Byakuya usually sent to pick his adopted sister up was caught in traffic. Since the Kuchikis lived a town away (where all the money was circulating) the chauffeur always had to travel across a bridge connecting the two towns together. It just so happened that on this day, there was trouble on the road._

 _So Rukia had to wait, all alone out by the gates of the junior high school. Not that she minded. After all, she rarely got time to herself what with the maids and the bodyguards and the scrutiny of the rest of the noble clans who looked down on the Kuchikis for admitting foreign, peasant blood into their territory... Truthfully, Rukia was glad to get space from it all._

 _The young girl watched the teenagers get picked up one by one. Their parents stepped out of their cars, hugging their offspring and asking how their day went. It was nice. The sight warmed Rukia's heart._

 _Then there was one particular vehicle that caught her eye; she recognized it. Dare she say it was Kaien's? She knew that he had a wife but she never asked if he had any kids. Excitement bubbled within her. If Kaien had a child, then maybe she could make friends with them! Would they be anything like Kaien? If so, she was confident that she just found her new best friend._

 _Her suspicions were confirmed when a beautiful, lithe woman who she recognized as Kaien's wife emerged from the driver's seat. Rukia thought of saying something, but Kaien was nowhere to be found and she wasn't very well-acquainted with this woman. Still, Rukia could admire her from afar. She was in all respects the tiny aristocrat's idol; well-mannered, well-dressed, well-groomed..._

 _And the life partner of an incredible man._

 _Rukia didn't think there was a luckier woman alive._

 _'Ichigo!' Miyako called out to a lanky boy walking out of the school gates._

 _His bright head of orange caught Rukia's eye and she instantly recognized him as the really quiet kid in class who scowled at anyone who tried to greet him a good morning. Rukia always wanted to speak to him, but found that she still hadn't gotten over her shy nature. Something about this guy pissed her off, but also intrigued her. Dare she say he was attractive? He had that whole don't-go-for-me-I'm-bad-news vibe, which was beyond sexy to the prim and proper expectations that the noble society placed on Rukia. The boy's exotic carelessness rendered him the subject of many girlish conversations at_ _school, most of which Rukia would pretend to have no interest when in fact, even she wasn't immune to his charm._

 _She sighs involuntarily as her eyes glide over his broad shoulders._

 _He glances her way, as though he's heard her._

 _She blushes and looks away to appear inconspicuous._

 _She hears the conversation that takes place; insignificant pleasantries between Ichigo and Miyako. The rebellious teenager then hops into the older woman's car, and Rukia thinks nothing of it when she brings the incident up with Kaien later on in the day._

 _How was Rukia supposed to know that Kaien was going to seize her by the arm in outrage?_

 _'K-Kaien-dono...!'_

 _'She's a whore.' Kaien hissed, tightening his grip around his student's arm._

She doesn't want to remember.

She knew Ichigo from before. Why didn't the memory of him from the past light up until now?

With the bathroom tidied up, she practically scurries out. Her brain is fuzzy and she's so dizzy that she doesn't really feel her legs anymore. She opens her eyes, but her living room is swaying and all the furniture has doubled. In a nerve-wracking twist of her mind, she _sees_ her breathing; short, ragged breaths that envelope the room before her in a sort of tunnel, fish-eye perspective.

She needs to throw up.

That's when her phone rings, and she realizes that it's coming from her coffee table. So that's where she left it all day. Amazingly, her jelly limbs manage to carry her over, and she answers the call.

It turns out to be Ichigo.

She can't stop the word vomit that ensues.

 _I'm scared._

When was the last time she said that?

He says he'll be over right away.

He's true to his word.

The doorbell rings.

She opens the door and there he is; tall and handsome with a gentle gaze. His features ware etched with concern, brows furrowed tensely in an angle that showcased anxiety rather than the perpetual anger he sported. Ambers scan her up and down, and he opens his mouth to say something, but his words catch in his throat. He stares again, longer, with unreadable emotions flashing in his eyes. She refuses to say anything. She just looks him right in the eye, hoping that he'd know what to do to make this better. She doesn't know what she wants from - why did she even call? But somehow, his presence felt right.

Rukia herself looked like a fright. Her hair was damp and her skin was paler than usual, a ghosty sheen playing on its clammy surface. Even her lips (which Ichigo remembered were swollen and reddening with want) were turning bluish.

'Hey...' he whispers eventually. 'Are you alright?'

'No.' she chokes, leaning on the doorframe in defeat. Her knees give out and she feels her body slumping to the floor, but he catches her in his arms before she hit the ground. He showers her with a million questions, but she said nothing. She feels like she's burning from inside out. Had she always been this hot? Maybe the air-conditioning was turned off? No, that couldn't be it. Maybe she's just tired.

Sure, that's it.

She's tired.

'Sorry.' she murmurs as he lifts her to her feet. When it was clear that she couldn't stand alone, he hoisted one of her arms over his neck and pulled her to his side by the waist. 'I'm sorry. Making you come all the way here... When you have problems of your own...'

'Shut up.' he snips, a little more harshly than he intended to. 'Stop thinking about me when it's yourself you should be concerned about.'

'Fool.' there was a hint of a smile in her voice, which wasn't lost on him. He gives her flank a friendly squeeze - an action that she doesn't outrightly acknowledge, but one that she appreciates. He leads her to the white sofa in the middle of her living room and lays her down. Her bones collapse and she's a crumpled ball on top of the throw pillows, her unsteady breathing rattling her ribcage. Seeing her in such a vulnerable position, he's suddenly aware of her diminutive size. Aside from her height, she was much slimmer than most girls he's seen her age even by Japanese social standards. He considers that she may work out regularly, but he feels the need to give her what he thinks she lacks.

'You need to eat something.' he says without thinking, and proceeds to locate the kitchen. Surprisingly, it's the next room over, and he leaves the door open in case she calls for him. He opens the refrigerator, and his widen at the lack of food. In fact, there's nothing in there except for a box of sweet dumplings. He pushes the lid aside to peer into it and sees that she's hardly touched it.

Sighing in defeat, he shuts the fridge and goes for the freezer.

Ice cream.

Lots of it.

So many flavours. So many colours. So many different brands.

All of them the jumbo-sized.

None of them sugar-free.

He feels the sugar rush already.

'Don't you have any real food?' he mutters to himself, though loudly enough for her to hear since they're the only people in the condominium. She grumbles a nonsensical response, so he brushes it aside. He opens a few cupboards and he's pleased to discover a lot of cooking supplies. Unfortunately, he finds no food. The situation intrigues him; how can one person invest so much money in all this fancy stuff, but no raw ingredients to work with? Defeated, he saunters back to the couch where the petite businesswoman lay. 'Rukia, if you're so rich, why don't you buy yourself some of the good stuff?'

'No time.' she mumbles miserably, burying her face in a pillow.

'You've got time to mess around with me in your car for two hours, but you can't buy yourself some decent groceries?'

She doesn't respond to that.

'Rukia... You need to eat something.' he tries again.

Still nothing.

He observes that she's shivering. The room isn't even cold.

Instinctively, he reaches out to stroke her hair. She looks over her shoulder to smile at him, and he swears that the effort she put in to flash him that lovely expression despite her weak state brings tears to his eyes. He kneels so that his face is levelled to hers. She doesn't break eye-contact with him. She's called him here. She _needs_ him. But she's not going to tell him why, is she?

It's enough that he's here.

'We used to be classmates.' she reveals unexpectedly. He frowns and tilts his head quizzically, so she explains further. 'At Mashima Junior High. Don't you remember me?'

His stomach churns.

Junior high was around the time that the whole tragedy with Kaien happened.

He didn't really like to think about those times, so...

'That whole period of my life is sort of a blur.' he admits quietly.

'Well, _I_ remember. I remember _you_. You were so... '

'Hmm?'

'Mean.'

He laughs. 'Yeah. I was, huh?'

'Still are.'

'Pushin' it.' he warns playfully before attempting to give her a kiss on the lips. She turns her head to the side so that his misses, and only manages to graze her cheek. He withdraws, puzzled, but not upset. He doesn't want to say anything because he doesn't want to make it about him. Yet, he can't stop the confusion from showing in his face.

That, or she can easily read him.

'I have to tell you something, Ichigo.'

'What is it?'

'It's about...' she ponders how to admit to all her wrongdoings. After Shiro basically assaulted her and the memories of a past she'd tucked away in the darkest recesses of her mind started rising to the surface, she feels an urgency to spill her toxic secrets.

She loves Ichigo, right? She knows she does. Truthfully, she doesn't want to - but she does. She loves him with all her heart and she cares about him and she wants him to live a good life. Most of all, she doesn't want him to suffer anymore. And she recognizes that if he pursues her (like he's been doing), she'd be unable to resist his charm. She wants to be with him and thus, inevitably, the truth must uncover itself. If he found out later rather than sooner, the devastation he'd feel would be tripled. He'd hate her. Hell, he'd hate her now. But if she truly loved him, she'd be honest.

But how does she say it?

'Oh...' she swallows as a bitterness stung the back of her throat. She curls up into a tighter ball, and he rubs her back soothingly. Her headache threatens to split her skill wide open. This is exactly why she hates crying. She doesn't do often because when she does, she weeps with her entire body. Her eyes hurt and her stomach liquifies and her brain burns as she rides out her sadness. How is she going to get through this night?

'You need to eat something.' Ichigo says again with determination in his voice. 'Come on... You need, like, rice. Or pasta. No, no - a burger. A really greasy, meaty burger. Something nasty. It'll make you feel better.'

'That sounds disgusting.'

'Fine. Ramen?'

'Ichigo, _stop_.' she rolls to the side so that her back faces him. 'I've got no energy to cook.'

'Let's order in, then.'

'I don't have the energy to do that, either.'

'You're impossible.' he grumbled. He whipped out his phone and browsed random restaurants around the block that wouldn't take long to deliver. He asked her what time of food she liked, but all she mentioned were desserts. He decides she has a problem. 'Cucumber salad?'

'Mm...' she ponders, finally not shutting his suggestion down. 'That sounds good.'

That's the seal of approval he needs. He orders over the phone and grabs her a glass of water from the kitchen. She takes a sip, but not more than that before she stands up and attempts to wobble to her bedroom. Ichigo can't find it in himself to leave her alone. He scoops her up and carries her the rest of the way.

'Thank you.' she whispers.

'Don't mention it.'

He lays her down on her cream-colored bed. Her room is nothing extravagant; just bright naturals painted over the walls, a wooden desk up by the side, a dresser, and her bed. The only pop of color are her curtains, which shone a delicious apple-red. One couldn't appreciate their beauty, however, because they were draped to the side.

'Ichigo...'

'Yeah?' his attention snaps right back to her.

'What happened earlier? Are you OK?'

'Rukia, shut up. You're sick. Don't worry about me.'

'I can't help it.' she confesses, shooting him a glassy gaze. 'You were left in that house with that psycho-'

He raises his brows. 'You know, you're probably the only person who thinks she's the psycho in my situation. I mean, my sisters tried to be supportive, but I could tell... They were really put off by me, knowing what I did.'

'Stop speaking for them. You don't know how they really feel.'

'I could tell.'

'No you can't. And give them time. It's a tough truth to swallow, and they're so young... Be there for them. Even if they aren't there for you, just be the big brother you're supposed to be.'

'I'm trying, but...' he shakes his head. 'But _damn_ , how do I manage to fuck up at every corner?'

'You're not fucking up. Just... You're trying your best, so stop being so hard on yourself.' she reaches out and takes his hand in hers. The action surprises him, but he makes no move to retract himself from her. 'Forgive yourself. I know you love them, but at the end of the day, _you're_ the only person whose opinion should really matter. If you're OK with what you did... If you're at peace with it, and you feel that it was the right thing to do, then it was. Only you matter, Ichigo. Because it's your heart and your soul and your life.'

He doesn't say anything more on the subject.

Instead, he leans over her and whispers into her ear, 'Can I kiss you?'

'Please do.' she angles her face so that their lips lock. His hands cup her face and he steadies himself on his elbows as his legs make their way onto the mattress. Rukia moans softly and her partner moves away from her mouth to trail hot kisses down her neck. Her fingers wind up kneading his shoulders, and he sucks on the dip of her collarbone. 'Ichigo...'

'You always know.' he whispers into her skin. 'You always know what to say to make me not hate myself.'

'Nonsense. I'm just reminding you of what you already know deep inside.'

'Nah.' he raises his head and smiles at her. 'I'd still be a skulking mess if it weren't for you.'

'Yeah, right!' she laughs. 'You're a lot of things, Ichigo... But being a mess is not even in your vocabulary.'

'It's true.'

'Sure.'

'Rukia...'

'Mm?'

'Can I kiss you again?'

She blushes and asks, 'Why do you always do that?'

'Do what?'

'Ask permission.'

'Oh... I don't know. Aren't you supposed to?'

'Mm...' she thinks about it, but doesn't have an answer. She supposes he's right, but Shiro isn't like that at all. That man just takes and takes, without any consideration for her feelings. Even Kaien turned out to have a possessive, violent relationship with his wife. Rukia didn't think that it was possible to find a man as kind and loving as Ichigo. He truly was a sweet anomaly.

'Are you feeling better now, Rukia?'

'Surprisingly, yes.'

'That's good. You know, I feel better now too. Because of you. I can always count on you.'

 _Tell him the truth._

'I-Ichigo...' she chokes. 'I need to tell you-'

The doorbell rings, and her words are cut off.

'That's your salad.' he clarifies, getting up from the bed. 'I'll go get it.'

'Ichigo-'

'Don't worry. I'll be right back.'

He shuts the door behind him and heads for the entrance. On the way there, Rukia's phone buzzes on the coffee table, and he thinks to pick it up so that he can bring it to her. The homepage lights up because she's received a new message. His gaze glides over it - he doesn't expect to be in for a shock.

It crushes him.

 **Kurosaki Shiro**

 _I'm sorry, baby. I'm coming back. I just need to do something real quick._

* * *

As soon as Shiro leaves Rukia's apartment, he hops into his car and drives as fast as he can to the Kurosaki residence, hoping to catch his brother. When he gets to the house, Karin answers the door and invites him inside. He saunters into the living room, noting with a hint of panic that no one else seems to be around, and that the whole place is unusually quiet.

'Karin, why-'

'I don't know where to start, Onii-san.' Karin can't hide the fact that she's still trying to swallow a lump in her throat. Her eyes turn teary, but she refuses to let the weakness seep from the corners. Shiro watches her, jaw hanging open in disbelief. The fuck happened while he was gone? He didn't think much of it when Ichigo and Rukia went into the house together, although he did find it strange that Rukia left so quickly. Had there been a fight, perhaps?

Something like that.

'Ichi-nii's... "girlfriends" were here.' Karin continued shakily. 'Orihime-chan, the one from the hospital...'

'The hot one.'

'No. The _evil_ one.'

'Wow. Ichigo's got an evil girlfriend?' he chuckled humourlessly, playing the clueless card. He had to pretend like he didn't know about Rukia. Karin _was_ talking about Rukia, right? It had to be Rukia. Maybe she mentioned Orihime by accident? No, that can't be it. Orihime was in the hospital, so...

'Did you know that Orihime-chan paid the hospital bills?'

'Oh.' he was surprised. Pleasantly so. 'Well, that's nice of her. How is she evil-'

'She paid Ichi-nii to have sex with her. She saved Yuzu's life because she wanted to ruin Ichi-nii's, when the person Ichi-nii truly loves is this girl called Rukia-chan!'

Shiro's gut hollowed.

'Rukia-chan tried defending him, but Ichi-nii didn't want her to get involved. So she left, and after Orihime-chan revealed all that crap, she left too! Yuzu fainted, and Ichi-nii's out there somewhere, doing whatever! Onii-san, I don't want him to get back to that crazy woman! I want him to be happy, I want him to be with Rukia-chan! Because he doesn't feel at home with us anymore. We've failed him, Onii-san. Wherever he goes, I just want him to find that love and support that we could never give him.'

'Shit.'

'Onii-san?'

'Sorry, Karin.' he hissed under his breath. 'I've made a mistake. I need to go fix it. But first, let's get Yuzu and take her to the hospital. We wanna be safe, you know? This time, I'm fucking paying.'

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **RukiYuki, IchiRuki 4vr, Inverse L. Reena, jobananasan,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **IchiRuki 4vr,** Shiro really loves Ichigo, but Ichigo doesn't feel comfortable with him because he has a tendency to be extreme (as was shown when he assaulted Rukia). Ichigo called her to check up on her, and out of fear, she wanted him by her side.

 **jobananasan** , Orihime will definitely be getting her turn. Rukia might get hurt more, but that'll be out of her own doing rather than Shiro's vengeance. You're right! Shiro cares about his family, but his solutions are much too expedient. He'll hurt others, not realizing that that road is what ultimately hurts his loved ones in the end too. Yes, Rukia tends to repress her thoughts. Kaien never explicitly abused Rukia, but the glimpse of violence she saw in him that day she told him about Miyako picking Ichigo up was enough to traumatize her since she admired Kaien so much. Rangiku is very spoiled, but so is Shiro! I agree though, that they aren't a good much for each other.

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	17. The Same Toy

'We have to admit her to the ward.' Dr. Mayuri Kurotsuchi, the psychiatrist on call for the day, told the waiting family members. He looked incredibly... _strange_. There was no other way to put it. With his beady eyes and perpetual, sinister grin, it was no doubt why Shiro felt uncomfortable leaving Yuzu in the hands of this freak.

Karin seemed a bit calmer about this whole situation, but she was always a quiet one anyway. Shiro's chest tightened. Karin was always the one who always suffered in silence. Even Ichigo was prone to random outbursts of anger, but Karin... Nah, Karin couldn't even shed a tear, not because she wasn't sad, but because she didn't want her loved ones to worry. Shiro admired that about his sister, but it was also a trait of hers that worried him to no end.

'Anyway... She's underage, so you'll have to sign this form for her.' Mayuri's metallic voice demanded as he shoved a clipboard in Shiro's direction. The younger man quirked a brow when he realized that this doctor's nails were painted a scandalously glossy black. An odd choice for a professional man. Besides, weren't medical practitioners not allowed to have their nails done or something because of some hygienic code? At any rate, that was the least of Shiro's concerns right now. Despite current circumstances, he wasn't at all feeling good about the notion of leaving Yuzu under the care of this sketchy guy.

'What does the form say?' Shiro asked. 'Give me the low-down.'

'It's just a consent form.' Mayuri rolled his eyes. 'Just to legally confirm the fact that Kurosaki Yuzu is being admitted to the hospital consensually. The usual jargon you have to get through during these kinds of things.'

'Well what if I don't want to sign this? What if I just want to bring my sister home?'

'Not possible.'

'Why the hell not?'

'Your sister woke up shortly after arrival.' Mayuri revealed, much to the surprise of both Shiro and Karin. 'Of course, I couldn't have either of you in the room at that time... But anyway, I asked her a series of questions to determine her mental health and it appears that she's a danger not just to herself, but to others. In the interest of safety, standard protocol is to keep her here. If you don't sign this, you're acting against the interest of the public. You'll be endangering others. That's a crime. Do you that on your shoulders?'

'Do yo seriously think you can guilt trip me into locking my sister up in here?'

'No... But I think the police child services would, if I called them.'

Shiro narrowed his eyes to that threateningly diminutive size he resorted to whenever someone pissed him off, but Mayuri was unfazed. The psychiatrist's mouth was set on a permanent grin, further infuriating the already raging Shiro. The two held each other's gazes for a while before Shiro finally conceded and took the clipboard begrudgingly.

Gold saw red the whole time he was signing the papers off, knowing fully well that Yuzu was going to be in for a world of pain. This wasn't the first time that she was going to be admitted to the psychiatric ward - it was just the first time that Shiro was forced to do it to her. But he remembered that every time she'd come home from spending a week away, that the life was absent from her body and that she'd lock herself in her room just to stare at the ceiling all day. Then, she'd snap out of unexpectedly, as though she'd been under a spell.

Shiro's gusted twisted sickeningly at the thought of watching Yuzu go through that again.

The thing was, that Shiro didn't think that Yuzu would ever be in danger of finding herself in that situation once more. When Masaki died, Yuzu clung onto Ichigo for support. She was always warmest towards him out of all of the siblings, and perhaps donning a newfound sense of responsibility after their mother's passing, Ichigo reciprocated those feelings tenfold with brotherly protectiveness. Yuzu thrived off of that. Even though Masaki was gone and nothing would ever be the same again, Yuzu was somehow happier. She loved Ichigo and the tragedy that they all went through pulled them closer to each other. Karin, too, grew closer to Ichigo as she's always respected him as the man of the house. Isshin was too silly, and frankly too immature, to be able to pull the weight of a family as a single father.

As for Shiro...

Although Shiro was the eldest of the four siblings, he always admired Ichigo's strength of character. That guy was just too good for his own sake. Ichigo was too forgiving, kind, and compassionate to really be able to sustain an ugly underbelly, as most people do. Ichigo was just all around a good person, an ideal that Shiro knew he could never be because he enjoyed fucking around with people way too much. With what Shiro witnessed from the Shiba's corrupt marriage, to the never-ending stress of having to live in an environment that was constantly threatened by the unpredictability of mental abnormalities, he had long given up on finding a decent human being.

Unless of course, that decent human being was his own beloved brother.

Light at the end of the tunnel; that's what Ichigo was, whether he believed it or not.

Unfortunately, nobody seemed to be able to give Ichigo the same hope that he gave others.

'Thaaaank you!' Mayuri sang as he took the clipboard back. There was triumph in the proud skip of his step as he hopped off to go on with his work, and it made Shiro's heart sink.

'She's going to be in pain.' Karin piped up for the first time since they arrived at the hospital. 'They're going to hurt her again.'

'I had no choice.' Shiro whispered pathetically. 'I'm sorry. But if I didn't sign it, then they might take her away from us...'

'I know.' she crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes were glued to the floor and as Shiro tried to steal a glance at her, the bangs on the side of her face hid her expression. 'You had no choice. I know. You and Ichi-nii... are really just doing you best. Me, too. Even though I'm not of much use, I really, really try my best.'

'Karin...'

'But we just keep hurting, all of us. We try and try but we just end up getting more hurt.'

'It'll stop one day.' Shiro promised, but his words rang hollow in his ears. 'One day, we're all going to be a family again. The old man will get out of prison, I'll move back into the house with Ichigo, and... It'll be OK. This all has to be worth something in the end, right?'

'No. Nothing is ever going to be worth what we go through.'

* * *

Ichigo set Rukia's cellphone before answering the door.

It was Rukia's salad delivery, of course.

The orange-haired teen carefully unpacked the dish before setting it on a white porcelain plate he found in the kitchen. He found a collection of chopsticks hidden in a drawer, so he took a random pair to serve the food with. Throughout this entire process, he felt like he was moving in a haze. He couldn't really feel his body and he wasn't really aware of what was going on. He felt like a robot, doing what he was supposed to do as to not arouse suspicion as he wrestles with what he's discovered.

Baby?

Why would Shiro call her that?

Of course he knows why his brother would call her that.

But it still hurts to admit.

It feels like betrayal, but there was nothing to betray in the first place. Ichigo never proposed a steady relationship with Rukia, so really, she was free to date whoever she wanted. Was it really such a big deal that the man in question was his own flesh and blood?

Yes.

Because it was impossible that Rukia didn't know about him prior to their meeting. Shiro would have mentioned a male sibling, or at the very least, Rukia would have noticed the striking resemblance between the brothers. She's a smart girl. She should have known. All this time, she should have known. So why wouldn't she say something? And if she was really with Shiro, why would she fuck around with another guy? She didn't seem to be _that_ kind of woman.

Shiro and Orihime were almost identical in their perversion. Was Rukia no different?

Ichigo scoffed.

Rukia _is_ different. Surely there must be an explanation for all of this. One that makes sense, one that isn't heartbreaking... Rukia isn't like that. Rukia is the only speck of light in his dark world. She's the only one who understands.

Rukia's different.

Once the salad is properly prepared, he heads into Rukia's bedroom with the plate in hand. He doesn't bother knocking. He just enters, and there she is, kneeling on the edge of the bed, her eyes lighting up by the sight of him. She smiles, and he can't help but return her expression. Her form is illuminated only by the moonlight that seeps into the window, and the cerulean stars of her face twinkle with mystery.

 _What are you hiding, Rukia?_

She's so pretty.

His heart sinks.

'Here.' he clears his throat and offers her the plate. He does his best to ensure that his aura is stable, and he's so good at it that he almost fools himself into believing that nothing was wrong.

Rukia sees right through it.

She frowns. 'What's wrong?' she whispers, and he's about to burst (into tears or furious fire, he doesn't know). 'Ichigo?' she sets the food aside on the bedside counter, next to the unlit lamp, before reaching out to stroke his cheek. He subconsciously leans into her palm and kisses her wrist. His eyes shut and his brows scrunch together.

What could he say? How could he bring it up? He can't. It'll alarm her. It alarms _him_. He doesn't trust himself not to blow up at her. He acknowledges that he's emotional and that he has a tendency to get angry. Rukia doesn't deserve that. No matter what, she doesn't deserve to be treated that way. He can't talk to her now, not when he's too pissed off to think properly, not when her lily-scented perfume wafts pleasantly in the air and her skin is so soft and warm and inviting.

Not when he just saw her miserable just a few minutes ago.

He can't do that to her.

'You should head back.' she continues in a low voice, mistaking his apprehension as a product of what transpired earlier on with his sisters and Orihime. 'I'll be fine. Thank you so much for coming. I... I'm so happy that you came.'

'You know I'd do anything for you.' he manages.

'I know. That's why... Ichigo, I really... I can't put it into words, but I feel good when you're around me.'

His eyes open.

Is she saying what he thinks she's saying?

'What do you mean?' he asks plainly, and she blushes at his abrasiveness.

'I-I mean...' she coughs awkwardly. 'I...'

'Rukia?'

'Don't make me say it!' she snaps, and the red tint of her cheeks deepen. 'You know what I want to say. I know you do. So don't... Don't make me say it, it's so embarrassing!'

'Rukia, I really don't get it.' he lies. He just wants to hear her confession.

'It's not the right time.' she concludes, her features relaxing. 'I want to tell you, but... It's not the right time.'

'To tell me what?'

'How I feel about you.'

He stiffens.

He wants to ask about Shiro, but when she looks at him like that; with her eyes big and glassy, with a smile that reaches her eyes, with a slight part of the lips that makes him want to kiss her - he can't help but be convinced that whatever happened with his brother doesn't matter tonight because she's in love with him, _Ichigo_ , and no one else.

He should ask about Shiro.

But tonight's too good.

'You're such a fool.' she hisses because she's feeling vulnerable. 'You already know, so why... Why do I even need to say it? There's no point! There's just-'

Before she can say anything more, he captures her mouth with his. Her hands instinctively wrap around his neck and he uses his weight to push them both down on the mattress. They were just fooling around earlier on in her car, but he doesn't tire of doing this with her. And despite what he's learned a while ago, he doesn't really give a shit when it comes to feeling her warmth on him. She loves him. He can feel it in the way she moves, in the way she responds to his touch, and in the way her inexperienced tongue eagerly massages his. There's passion in her actions and longing in her words.

Whatever happened between her and Shiro must be over now. There's no other possible conclusion. Rukia can't be _this_ into him while saddling another man. If there even is another man. No, there _is_ another man, he's sure of it - but he doesn't give a fuck. Rukia doesn't give a fuck either, not if she's willing to give herself to him.

When they're together, nothing really matters except each other. At least not to Ichigo. Messing around with Rukia was like pressing the pause button on his troubled life. No hurtful facts or truths really mattered when she was with him because her presence was a total sensory experience. The pleasure he receives from holding her, the nervous anticipation in his gut when she writhes beneath him, the out-of-body sensation when their eyes lock and he swears he sees stars swimming within the oceanic depths of her blues - they make him feel like nothing else matters. _She_ makes him feel like nothing else matters.

And nothing else does matter, not if he can be with her.

With his lips on hers, without ever having to hear her explanation or apology - he's already forgiven her.

Because he doesn't want to lose her. Because he trusts that she won't hurt him, not really. Because nothing can tear him away from her, not even his own suspicions.

With Rukia, he can pretend.

It's not like he can ever be with her anyway.

He's sick. He's destined for insanity. The chemistry of his brain is beyond fucked, so he'll never be good enough for Rukia anyway. And he loves her, so he's not going to ever be fine with her settling for anything less than what she deserves. Only the best man in the world is worthy of her, and Ichigo knows that he'll never be that man.

This love that she feels for him... It's just temporary. Or that's what he tells himself. Even if she wants to love him till the end of time, he has to find a way to push her away. She doesn't deserve to be saddled with a psychopath.

At first, he was angry that Rukia could associate herself with Shiro... Until he realized that he's no better.

They share the same blood. They're the same body, same mind.

They're the same.

Ichigo doesn't deserve her either. He understands that. Tonight was just a painful reminder.

'Shit, Rukia...' he growls against her lips as he moves down her neck to suck at the base of her collarbone. His hands come up under her shirt and lift the garment to reveal a completely naked torso. She's not wearing a bra. His groin tightens pleasantly at that observation. 'Mm, Rukia-' he manages to hum before taking a mouthful of a breast. She squeaks and wriggles underneath him, and he responds by pressing his body up against hers. His fingertips caress up and down her sides, delighting in the way her skin changes from his touch. He can feel her goosebumps forming and a nipple hardening as he sucked and nipped, purposely exaggerating the wet sounds he was making because he knew it excited her.

'Ichigo...' she murmurs, and he grits his teeth at how sweet his name sounds in her voice. 'Why are you... You're being so...'

He slides up to press their foreheads together so that they can look into each other's eyes. One hand cups her face, while the other brushes down her stomach to expertly unbutton her pants and slip into her underwear. Her expression is one of shock when he does this, but she makes no move to stop him. Her pupils dilate as he hovers over her sex, and he takes a moment to contemplate his next move. She moans, and he takes that as a sign that he's doing something right - so he pushes a finger into her surprisingly wet slit.

'Oh, _Ichigo_ -'

She likes that.

It's heaven when she says his name.

But all he hears at the back of his mind is a doll-like rendition of _Kurosaki-kun!_

He tries to ignore the voices screaming his last name with that affectionate honorific, but tight, sloppy walls clamping down on him remind him too much of Orihime. He gives Rukia a deep kiss as she adjusts to the intrusion, but even her flavour isn't enough to override Orihime's imprints, nor can it quell the voices feeding off of his doubts.

 _Kurosaki-kun, does she feel like me?_

Ichigo's eyes harden.

When he looks at what is supposed to be Rukia, he sees Orihime's face panting with ecstasy that he gives.

'Ichigo-' Rukia's voice brings him back to reality, but he already feels the early beginnings of a pounding headache. Nevertheless, the words she says next encourage him to keep going. 'I want to feel good-' and that's all it takes for him to start a hot rhythm in and out of her. She whimpers, but her hips meet him each time. Every time he plunges back into her knuckle-deep, her juices escape her, and soon she's slippery enough to take another digit in. He's toying with her with two digits now, and he feels her insides throbbing. The tent of his pants isn't enough to contain his growing erection, but her pleasure is more important to him. He wants her to scream. 'Ah, _ah_ , it feels so good!'

 _Kurosaki-kun, it feels so good!_

'Shit.' he curses into her hair, but thankfully, she doesn't hear him. She's coming apart, and she twitches here and there as he helps her along her orgasm. When she calms down, he withdraws from her, and she gasps. Her eyes never leave him as he sucks on what was just inside of her, and she wonders if he likes how she tastes. He flashes her a warm, calculated smile before wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. 'Did you like that?' he asks quietly.

She nods.

'Good.'

'Ichigo...'

'Yeah?'

'No man's ever done that to me before.'

He feels sick. 'Ah...'

His lack of a reaction scares her, but she chooses to trust him blindly.

'Ichigo... Can I have a kiss?'

 _Can I have a kiss, Kurosaki-kun?_

If he doesn't oblige, he'll hurt her.

He leans in to give Rukia a quick peck on the lips, but he makes a conscious effort not to look at her.

What if he sees Orihime?

Rukia loves him.

It's him who can't love her back.

When the noble falls asleep, he gently untangles himself from her. He gets up quietly and leaves.

Rukia's cellphone catches his eye in the living room. He picks it up and thanks the universe for the fact that she doesn't have a passcode installed to access it. Fate must truly be on his side. Without hesitation, he deletes the text from Shiro he saw earlier, then proceeds to erase his own number from her contacts list. When he's finished, he sets the phone back down and makes his way out of the apartment unit.

He shuts the door behind him and brings a finger up to his lips. _Shh_ , he warns Shiro, who's just stepped out of the elevator.

'Ichigo.' the older brother's tone is soft. He doesn't want to piss off Ichigo. 'What are you doing here?'

'Doesn't matter.' he answers sternly. 'But you shouldn't be here either. Well, I guess you have a right to. You've been seeing Rukia, haven't you? She's the fiancé you were so excited about, right?'

'That's-'

'Stop seeing her.' Ichigo orders without emotion. 'Don't come by here again.'

Shiro raises a brow. He's silent for a long time, but eventually, he nods. As long as he and Ichigo were cool with each other, then he'd do anything. He was only keeping himself close to Rukia to watch over her in case she did something stupid anyway. True, he developed some feelings for her - but those were insignificant when confronted by family. Whatever Ichigo requested of Shiro, he would do.

'Alright.' Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck - a habit of his whenever he was uncomfortable. 'Let's get out of here.'

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **hinataellis, RukiYuki, achalida, IchiRuki 4vr, jobananasan, Nolly** , and the **Guest** reviewers!

I'll be responding to your reviews privately later on! As of now, I'm about ready to pass out, but I wanted to upload this chapter before the night ends.

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	18. Runaway

There was no reason for Karin to stay at the hospital.

But when Shiro declared that there was something he had to attend to, Karin gave no indication that she wanted to go with him. Her brother waited a few moments for her to gather her thoughts and perhaps take the last chance she could at hitching a ride back home in his car, but Karin never took it. Even though she wasn't allowed to visit her sister in the psychiatric ward, she strongly felt that she was needed at the hospital. There was no way for Yuzu to know for sure that Karin was out there, waiting for her - but it gave Karin peace knowing that she could be there for her sister. Though there was nothing wrong with Karin (that anyone knew of) in the medical sense, she didn't feel like she'd be able to function outside of the building.

'I'm not ready to leave.' she murmured after a long period of silence. 'I don't _want_ to leave.'

'You've got school tomorrow.' Shiro reminded her. 'You need to study. There's no way you can rest up in a place like this.'

'I don't need to rest. I feel fine.'

'Like hell you do.' he was getting frustrated. 'No one feels fine after what happened.'

'I'm used to it. I need to stay here. When Yuzu gets out, she'll want someone to be around for her.'

'Yuzu won't be getting out for another week! You wanna stay here for that long?! You don't even have clean clothes with you! And I'm not enabling this behaviour by bringing you some!'

'Could you bring me some from home then?' she perked up, as if that was the best idea in the world. 'Here...' she continued, fishing into her pocket. 'I'll give you the keys to the house-'

'Didn't you hear what I just said?! Why would you wanna stay here!? Karin, you have a life!'

'Well, it's not fair that I get to be a normal kid and Yuzu doesn't!'

'Yuzu _is_ a normal kid!' Shiro growled, his gold irises intensifying. 'Anyone would be an emotional mess in her position! Fuck, just... I mean, _fuck,_ can't Yuzu _feel_ anything without some quack medicalizing her emotions?! Hasn't it occurred to you that maybe, _just maybe_ , Yuzu isn't sick at all? That maybe she's just _sad_? Because we're all fucking sad! We're all in pain and maybe that hurt accounts for how fucked up we are sometimes, huh?'

'My friend was sad the other day when her rabbit ran away. My teacher was sad when someone pranked her by locking her out of the classroom - and _that_ kid was sad because he got in trouble. Sad is OK. Sad is normal. We're _not_ normal.'

'Some people have it worse than others.' Shiro's jaw tightened. 'And us? We have it pretty fucking bad. So we have different reactions. That doesn't mean we're not normal. It just means we have unique demons.'

'Normal people don't _have_ demons, Onii-san.'

'Between you and I, it's you who should have more hope.' Shiro's voice dropped to a sincerely low octave. His eyes smoulder like the molten, unstable core one might see when peering into the mouth of a living volcano, and the intensity reflected in his passionate, gold stare sparks the embers of the almost lost hopefulness within Karin. Seeing her normally cold brother so full of life gave her strength.

'I'll be fine, Onii-san. Go... Go do what you have to do. I'll be fine.'

'But-'

'Karin-chan!' Orihime called from behind the young girl, who swivelled around so quickly she must have been rotated by an invisible, mighty force. The older woman with chestnut-bright hair had a wide smile on her face, and an air of nonchalance about her - it was _infuriating_. Karin wanted to wipe that smug smirk off her face.

Being a business savvy man, Shiro had a way of reading between the lines. From what Karin told him earlier to the energy he could feel between these two ladies, he knew that this surprisingly beautiful woman was the same person who blackmailed Ichigo into prostituting himself. He raises a brow; the gall of this woman to show herself to the Kurosaki family - it was almost admirable, how unbothered she was.

'Why are you talking to me?' Karin demanded, barely able to contain her anger. Her hands ball into fists at her sides, and her bottom lip is quivering with a melange of emotions that don't make sense. One thing she knows for sure, however, is that those very emotions make her sick. She hates how human she is.

'Why can't I talk to you?' Orihime tilted her head quizzically. 'We're friends, right?'

'We are _not_ friends.'

'Oh, don't be like that! Tonight may not have been very fun, but I'd like to think that we can put it behind us.'

'You're psycho.' Karin accused, taking a step backwards. Shiro moved forward so that he was standing side-by-side with Karin in front of Orihime, whose smile failed to falter. 'Stay away from me. Stay away from Karin, from Ichi-nii-'

'Sorry.' Shiro interjected, squeezing Karin's shoulder to quell her anger. 'But I don't think we've met. You are...?'

'Inoue Orihime.' she declared proudly.

'Well, then... Orihime. Let's take a walk, hmm?' Shiro let go of his sister to hook an arm around Orihime's waist. The movement was abrasive; painfully tight. Orihime's face scrunched up momentarily in pain and her hands came up to his chest to prevent their bodies from getting too close to each other.

'Walk with me.' Shiro repeated, harsher in tone. ' _Now_.'

'Onii-san-'

'Stay here, Karin.' Shiro ordered. 'The adults are going to have a quick chat.'

* * *

Rukia didn't think that she'd enjoy her evening at all. The night began as a nightmare come true, but leave it up to her hot-headed lover to comfortingly seduce her with his dangerously impassioned kisses. Before him, the thought of being intimate with anyone to any extent was mortifying and borderline... _Disgusting_.

How could she let anyone into her body like that? Her body, which, according to Byakuya, was meant to be hers and hers alone until she could decide who to marry. At the back of her mind, Rukia always knew that that way of thinking was problematic, but it was a mantra that the Kuchiki family repeated. It was a rule that she was expected not to break, especially because she was adopted and thus, she'd always have to be twice as hard on herself to be half as good as a true-blooded member of the clan.

Being a Kuchiki was Rukia's greatest honour. Though it was tough at first, she wouldn't give up her aristocratic status for anything.

Despite knowing that what she did with Ichigo was definitely going to be frowned upon should anyone from the Kuchiki clan find out, she doesn't really care.

It's interesting.

Ichigo's naive and obviously inexpert when it comes to reading her romantic feelings for him. Yet, he holds her with such power, and looks at her with warmth so charming that she can't help but wonder why she ever believed that he was a murderer. There's no way a cold-blooded killer could have so much humanity reflected in the handsome fire of his hazel gaze. And, so much like the very flames dancing in his irises, his movements burn her. Whether it's his hands caressing up and down her sides, or his tongue drawing irregular shapes on her neck, or his fingers twisting and turning inside of her - he _scorches_ her.

She's supposed to be the Kuchiki heiress; the ice queen, Karakura's _Mona Lisa_ , Byakuya's perfect stone statue of a sister.

She's not supposed to _burn_.

It hurts at first, when Ichigo slips a finger into where she's most vulnerable, but the pain is laced with something akin to euphoria. She feels relief when he begins a slow pace in and out of her, and it's not long until her hips seem to move of their own accord; back and forth to meet the length of his digit, moaning when he inserts another finger inside of her because it feels so good and _right_ to do this with him. The intensity of the experience is amplified by her feelings for him. She can no longer turn a blind eye to the chemistry between them.

Despite how much she wanted to be immersed in the moment, looking back at it now was a blur. What exactly happened? She doesn't recall much, but she knows that it was one of the most emotionally intense experiences of her life. It was a pocket in time where she completely forget everything except him, and herself, and _them_ , and what they could _feel_ between them, and how _right_ it felt.

Rukia remembers that she wrapped her arms around his neck. What was she trying to do? Get closer to him? Sort of. Even though in that moment, she had felt closer to him than she'd ever been, she wanted _more_ of that intimacy. Dreaming about it now, she regretted not reaching for more of him. Maybe that would have brought them closer. In what way? She doesn't really understand herself. It's almost like she wants to melt with him so that they never have to really separate ever again. When Ichigo sensually engages with her, it doesn't feel overly lustful at all... If anything, she feels the most genuine love from him during these moments. There's no way he can lie. Not just any person could treat her like how he treats her.

And when blindingly white release finally overtook her, her hands kneaded his flesh as if to make sure that he was still there with her, that he was real and that this was happening and that he'd really given her a fresh taste of lovemaking. Because what they did couldn't have been anything else. She felt nothing but love for him, and though he didn't say so, she felt in her heart that it was the same for him.

So when she fell asleep in his arms, she didn't think that he'd leave.

When he actually did...

She stirred in her sleep. The rising sun was unpleasant against her shut lids, so she fluttered them open, half-expecting Ichigo to be staring right at her. But nothing greeted her except the sight of empty bed space. She shot up into a sitting position, quickly scanning the room for any sign of Ichigo, which of course was not to be found. She considered for a second that he might be in the shower or kitchen, but the ominous silence of her apartment thwarted those presumptions.

'Ichigo?' she called, but no one replied. ' _Ichigo_?' she said again, more urgently, but the silence was unbreakable. Cautiously, she gets up and wraps a blanket around herself. She feels frightened and alone, so she enveloped herself in the comfort of physical warmth. 'Ichigo...' she said it more as a whisper to herself than an actual call for him to respond to. She knows by now that he left. It pisses her off.

Her phone catches her eye when she steps foot in the living room, so she darts for it because she's about to give Ichigo a piece of her mind. How could he just do that to her? After they... After he...! _Rude_! Just plain rude, with absolutely no regard whatsoever for her feelings. Didn't it cross his mind that she might want to see him afterwards? That she might want to talk to and interact with him? He could have at least said something on his way out. Wasn't she worth a warning?

Feelings of abandonment that she struggled to suppress on a daily basis were boiling inside of her. She suddenly recalled the raw pain that tore her apart when Hisana died, when Kaien died, when the fiends she had before her rise to aristocracy shunned her; they were swirling, coiling, tightening into a sickening knot at the pit of her stomach. It's almost paralyzing, the way the haunting past ices her over.

She feels cold again.

Fervently, she scrolls through her contact list to find his number. She's about ready to just let Ichigo have it. He wasn't just going to _leave_. Maybe he didn't mean to be rude. Maybe he had a good reason. Maybe he needed to be somewhere urgently, but he shouldn't keep her in the dark. And Rukia, learning from her mistakes, isn't about to pretend like she wasn't hurt. She was going to tell Ichigo just how she felt, and they could work on it together.

She was determined not to abandon him, or be abandoned by him.

Strangely enough, when she searches for the name _Ichigo_ , nothing comes up. She frowns, but tries again - this time with another name on the search engine: _Kurosaki_.

Nothing.

She notices that not even Shiro's number pops up. An impossibility, considering that she had him on her phone as _Kurosaki Shiro_.

Rukia's stomach churns. She didn't delete Shiro's number. There's no way in hell she'd have done that. She simply didn't have the time to, nor would she even have had the courage to think of his name, not so soon after what he had done to her last night. When met with violence, Rukia had a bad habit of pushing the trauma out of her mind until she forgot about it and moved on with her life as if it never happened to her in the first place. She doesn't ever really _deal_ with her issues, so she wouldn't have faced anything pertaining to Shiro until she'd run into him or be forced to.

She goes to her messages.

Her correspondence with Shiro was deleted. Totally gone. Like she never exchanged any words with him over cellular communication.

With that daunting observation, Rukia knew that someone had tampered with her phone - and she knew just who that person was, and thus, what he had just uncovered for himself.

 _He knows. Ichigo knows about Shiro and I._

Blindsided by dread, she drops her phone and beelines for the door. She doesn't have a coat on, and she's barefoot, but the urgency she feels bubbling in her gut makes it impossible for her to think of anything but how hurt and betrayed Ichigo must feel inside. To think that she was the one who inflicted that suffering on him sickened her. She had to make it better. She had to explain herself, to let him know that it was _all her fault_ and that he was a good person, and that she deserves all the resentment he probably feels towards her... And that despite that, she wants to know how to make it up to him because he's worth setting her pride aside and admitting that she's wrong.

She reaches for the door knob.

'Hey...' a man greets her when she swings the door open.

Rukia can't say anything back. She's in shock. This person standing before her like nothing was wrong, like everything's perfectly fine even though she knows that nothing will ever be the same, not after-

He kisses her.

Pushes her back into her suite.

Shuts the door behind him.

She lets him.

Because this man is...

* * *

Shiro offered to give Ichigo a ride back home in his car.

Exhausted, the younger brother didn't think it would be so bad to endure a few minutes with Shiro. It's not like Ichigo's day could get any worse. From being forced to reveal his glorified prostitution to his little sisters to finding out that the woman he was falling head-over-heels for was screwing around with his own brother/nemesis, Ichigo figured that his ego had taken so much of a beating that another strike didn't really matter.

After all, at the end of the day, they were still family. They _had_ to tolerate each other.

'Not going to ask?'

'Huh?' Ichigo snapped out of a daze he had fallen into since leaving Rukia's apartment. He glanced at Shiro, whose eyes were glued to the road - _good_. The last thing either of them needed tonight was more trouble. Ichigo just wanted to get home safe and sound, without any more drama in his way. Alas, _of course_ , Shiro wanted to talk about _the one thing_ Ichigo didn't want to talk about right now; Rukia. 'What's there to ask? I already know.'

'I never loved her.' Shiro offered, as if that was supposed to make his brother feel any better (it didn't). 'Go do whatever you want with her. I don't care.'

'She's not some toy you can fling at me when you're finished.' Ichigo hisses. The emotion escaping him is darker than he'd ever like anyone to see, but right now, he can't control himself. It hurts. He's hurting. He's pissed. He's irritated. He just wants this night to be over. 'Besides... What Rukia is to me...'

'She's just a girl, Ichigo. There are tons more out there, just like her.'

'No.' he replied sternly. 'Not like her.'

' _Tons_ like her. Trust me.'

'Shut up.'

'What?' Shiro clicked his tongue as a smirk played on his lips. He tilted his head towards his younger brother, who was fuming in his seat. Shiro raised a brow before pressing, 'Don't tell me you fell in love with her.'

'She loves me too.' Ichigo said without thinking. A flurry of emotions were eating away at him right now, and he couldn't think properly with the devil breathing down his back. He knew that Shiro was taunting him, but he couldn't help but be further enraged by it, and feel the need to validate himself. Maybe Shiro didn't think that Rukia could love because she didn't love him. How could she? Shiro was a monster. He was ruthless, heartless, uncaring - how could such a selfish person be worthy of warmth? Ichigo didn't think too highly of himself, but he valued his ability to process his emotions and feel for others; traits that Shiro never exhibited, or _couldn't_ exhibit, because of a desperate need to protect his pride.

Shiro is an arrogant, poor excuse for brother.

Ichigo hated that.

'She loves you?' Shiro laughed. 'Please. You sound crazy.'

'Just because she didn't love _you_ -'

'How do you know she didn't love me?'

''Cause you're a jerk.' Ichigo growled. 'You're a self-absorbed, impulsive dick who doesn't think of anyone but himself. Yuzu and Karin needed you, but-'

'You left too.' Shiro reminded him cooly. 'You're so mad at me for leaving them, but you left them too.'

'I killed Kaien!'

'But that doesn't give you the privilege of walking away from your family, of depriving our sisters of a brother they love. And you know that. I know you know that because you can't even show your face around the house anymore. You haven't visited them in so long. You don't even visit our old man, who went to prison for you. You disappear and sentence your loved ones to painful loneliness, and yet, you can't find it in you to forgive yourself knowing that others are hurting because of your self-loathing. You thought that you were doing the right thing by leaving, but you only doubled all our pain.'

Ichigo inhaled sharply, but remained silent.

Shiro continued, 'That's why you hate me so much. Because we both left. Because you see yourself in me, and you hate that. You hate yourself.'

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story!

The scene cuts in this chapter are meant to seem jumbled. It will make sense later on, I promise!

Thank you to **jobananasan, FaeofLight, Peachberrylove, IchiRuki 4vr, blissbeat, hinataellis,** and **RukiYuki**!

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


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